Unexpected Encounter
by Jinx33
Summary: I am standing on a precipice waiting to fall and I have settled for a life I am uncertain of: A boyfriend who doesn't see the same forever as I do, a past that haunts my dreams and is carved in scars, and a future full of uncertainty. Then I met him...and suddenly I am nearing closer and closer to the precipice, hoping someone will catch me but never feeling more alive. Jacob/OC
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own the **_**Twilight saga!**_

Takes place after breaking dawn, but Jacob did not imprint on Reneesme. Jacob, Quill, Embry, and Leah are all beginning college and find themselves stumbling upon something unexpected...hmmm. =]

"Can we _not_ have this conversation right now Zach, please? I told you how I feel about it, can't you just accept it and drop it? I am not ready." My pleaded with him in a serious tone, over the sound of sportcenter in the background.

"Woman, we have been dating for two years, most guys do not wait two months. What is there to be ready for, it's part of a healthy relationship." Zach's voice boomed as he flicked through the channels, not that he was paying any attention to what he was flicking through-he just needed something to do with his hands so he would not turn his frustrations out on me.

"I just do not want to, alright? You knew I did not when we began dating, and you said it was okay and that you respected it," I said forcing my voice to stay calm and under control. For the past year we had been having this same conversation, and it always resulted in a fight. And then I had to apologize. For what, wanting to save myself for someone who loved me? I mean I love Zach, he is just...not the right one. And I know that sounds horrible but I just cannot help it, believe me I have felt bad enough about it.

Then why not break up? Why thats because I am the classic, too nice girl I cannot just dump him I care about him, and I honestly believe he cares about me. Sometimes Zach just has a funny way of showing it, like now for instance.

"Clary, are you even listening to what I am saying?" Zach's mouth sets in a hard line and he crossed his muscular arms as he looks at me, waiting impationately for my response.

"Of course I am listening to you, Zach, there just is not really anything to discuss about the situation. You know how I feel, and if you have a problem with it then I do not know what to tell you. I am sorry. I just...can't."

"Can't and won't are two way different things, Clare-bear. You know I could have any of the girls here at school but I chose you, and I want to spend my time with you. I love you, do you not love me? Is that it?" His bright blue eyes look at me expectately.

"You're right, I _will not_ have sex with you, and that is because I am not ready. And I know you can have any girl here but I am just privileged to fill the spot next to you," I began, a little too sarcastically but I was getting mad. I had a right to be, he was starting to act like I was part of his property again and I did not like it. Just because we started dating in high school, closing in on three years now, does not give him the right to treat me like I should feel greatful that he is even still with me.

Zach opened his mouth to respond, with his eyebrows furrowed in anger, but I interrupted before he blew a gasit. "_But___I love you, and you know that. I am sorry, okay?" My tone was pleading for this convesation to be over with but, of course, that was too much to ask.

"No. No, it is not _okay_ Clary. Just because you are admitting you are a prude does not make this easier for me. I have needs, and just like every guy those needs need to be taken care of." Zach says, his voice rising. But my attention freezes at the one word that flew out of his mouth. Prude. I mean, I guess I kind of am if I do not wish to have sex but come on I am not a nun or anything.

I can feel my temper beginning to flare and I look Zach in the eyes as I focused on how much I disliked the color blue for eyes. Yes, that was it, just keep calm and collected think about something else. I really did not like the whole blonde hair, blue eyes, buff jock types so why do I even stay with him. But he was so sweet, caring, and considerate. Plus I loved his personality, I'm just not quite sure where it is hidding now days.

I sigh, which causes Zach to turn on me-mid-rant. "What? Did I strick a nerve, Clare-bear?" My mood complete falls to a downward spiral and I realize I need to get out of here before this conversation turns into something more heated.

"Look Zach, I told you how I felt and you know that, like I _keep_ telling you but you just do not seem to listen. I am going home, I have early classes in the morning so I will see you tomorrow. Goodbye." My tone sours on 'goodbye' but I managed to keep my emotions in check and I gather my things, swinging my bag on my shoulder, placing my hat on my head, and tying on my scarf. It is winter so it is pretty chilly and I already had my boots and coat on so I walk out the door, and hear Zach yelling down the hall to me.

"Fine, whatever, run away like you always do. Maybe I will trade you in for an upgrade, someone who is not a cold-hearted bitch who does not put out!"

I know he will regret what he said tomorrow, in a few hours in fact, and before I know it I will be recieving an apology through voicemail or text message. I am walking across campus, absorbed in my thoughts, and wondering what his excuse will be this time. It is about twelve in the morning, and most people are either out partying or sleeping right about now so I take my time as I make my way to my dorm.

And then out of no where I am hit with a solid and strangely warm wall of flesh that not only knocks me off my feet but takes the breathe right out of my lungs. I am sitting on the cold, snow-covered ground complete stunned when I look to see the guy did not even stop to apologise. The jerk just kept of running as if the contact with my body had no faze on him, like I was just a minor speed bump on the smooth walkway. Unbelievable.

"Yeah, sure. I am fine, please, do not help me up good sir. _Jerk_." I mumble, grudgingly. Hey, I was pissed. Now, thanks to some inconsiderate tool, I am officially having a horrible day. I am cold, wet, and just in a horrible mood.

"Oh, are you okay? I'm sorry, my friend is in kind of a...bad mood at the moment." I pick myself up and stare defiantly at the stranger that calls the jerk his friend, and my eyes find a bulky figure that causes me to tilt my head upward. And I am decently tall, I am 5'7'', this guy though he is...pretty big. He seems decently attractive, but it is dark and I am not the type that flirts when I have a boyfriend. I do not want to be rude for staring, so I nod.

"It is okay, it just was suprising. And I really would have been more...understanding if he were the one apologising and not you. What are you, his wingman or something?" Well, so much for trying to be nice. Oh well. I just wanted to go home anyways.

The stranger chuckles, loud and low, and smiles down at me. "Yeah, I guess something like that, but if he were here he would apologise. Jake is a good guy, he is just having kind of a bad day. Bad month actually."

"Yeah, well, him and me both." My mumble caused the stranger to grin again, laughing a sort of contagious laugh but I pressed my lips together in determination.

"I am Embry Call, by the way. And isn't it a little late for you to be out, young lady? The streets at night can be a very dangerous place."

"I can take care of myself just fine, thank you very much," I begin to say then remember not to be so rude. "And my name is Clary. I hold out my hand for him to shake, then hesitate wondering if he would think I was being lame. If Embry did, he sure did not show it, if fact he enveloped my hand in his with enthusasim. And suddenly, I was no longer cold. Taking him in I realized in shock that he was uncommonly warm, to the point of burning up, and he did not even have a jacket on!

"Are you sick or something?" Man, where were my manners? They just keep on getting worse and worse, my goodness. Embry just looked at me strangely, then smiled as if he had just remembered something hilarious.

"Nooo, but I have been told I have a really warm body heat. Why, are you cold?" He wiggled his eyebrows up and down suggestively, and I blushed while scowling at him. "What? No. _No_. I am fine, great in fact." I roll my eyes at him and begin to walk away.

"Hey! I did not mean anything by that, I was just joking around, you know?" His voice hinted at concern that he had offended me, why? This guy, Embry, has only known me for three minutes. Tops.

"Oh, yeah, I know. It's nothing, I just should be getting home. I have classes bright and early tomorrow." Why was I telling him all of this? He is a complete stranger, and why on earth would he care what I do?

"Right, well, would you like me to walk you? It is dangerous." I must have given him a funny look because words just began pouring out of his mouth. "If you want, totally up to you, but not many girls just walk around by themselves."

I laugh, shaking my head in disbelief, I begin to walk towards my dorm. "Thanks, but I have got it covered, no damsel in distress here. It was nice to meet you, Embry." I wave my hand up in goodbye without turning around, and hear him chuckle.


	2. Chapter 2Dreams

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

I could feel the sweat poreing up on my skin, a cold uncomfortable sensation that caused my heart to quake with fear. Yet, my body was not trembling from the situation, and I seemed almost calm despite my pardicament.

Taylor Swift's melody of Eyes Open played in the background, whether it was actually on a soundtrack somewhere in this forsaken room or rambling on in my head I am not really sure. And I do not even like T-Swift, or any other country music. Well...okay maybe a _couple _of her songs have a way of sneaking into your brain and clinging on for dear life, until the song begins to grow on you, but seriously. Not the least bit comical but this is what I seem to get. Fan-freaking-tastic.

_Everybody's waiting  
Everybody's watching  
Even when you're sleeping  
Keep your ey-eyes open_

I am on all fours heaving my lungs out in a sea of darkness, then I notice a figure moving in the shadows. I glare at it, call it bravery or stupidity. Honestly, even I am not sure which it is anymore.

"What...do you...want...from...me?" What has caused me to be so winded? My mind cannot seem to conjure up the right answer to my current, nearly-asmatic condition. I just cannot seem to catch my breathe.

"Bring them in," the voice-clearly masculine-says in a domineering tone. The sound of a door creeks open and the sound of nails on pavement fills the silence, while a musty, woodland scent fills the air. I shiver.

_Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown  
Everybody's watching to see the fallout  
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping  
Keep your ey-eyes open  
Keep your ey-eyes open  
Keep your ey-eyes open_

The sound is getting closer and I hear heavy breathing, animalistic and almost...dog-like. And then I am able to make out the two figures approaching me in the darkness. I swallow because this cannot be real, yet, the figures come closer with snapping jaws and saliva dripping.

_Keep your feet ready  
Heartbeat steady  
Keep your eyes open_

"What do...you...want?" I ask, trying so hard to remain calm but the terror is now overwhelming. I want to scream, to fight, to do something. Anything but lay here without the ability to get up. Helpless.

"What do I want?" the man asks, coldly. He laughs. "What do I _want_?" He repeats, still laughing.

"Yes," I say with feigned attitude. "I do not believe I stuttered."

His laugh cuts off sharply, and silence strikes me hard in the face. "Little girl," he growls. Seriously, I am not even joking or exagerating, he really _growled_. If I was not certain he would run at me and rip my face off I would have laughed. Actually, I kind of did. Laugh, I mean.

"Old man," I growl back. Well I at least I attempt to growl, but it comes out more like a mocking squeak. Hardly intimidating. Though it causes the man to come closer and my eyes adjust to his revealed form in the dimmed lighting, while his back is outlined by darkness.

From the features I notice-which is not much-the man is not really _old_ per say. But the "old man" comment seemed to hit a nerve because he looked pissed.

"Maybe you need to be taught a lesson before I drag some answers out of you, you seem to need to learn some respect for your superiors." A chill runs down my spine, and I hear the scaping of nails on pavement and animal sounds getting closer.

I want to make a smart comment but my mouth has become dry with fear, while my tongue just sticks with anticipation.

_Keep your aim locked  
The night goes dark  
Keep your eyes open_

"Superiors?" I ask, spitting out the word like it offered an awful taste in my mouth.

"Yes." I can almost hear the smile hinted in his tone, and when I glace at him I find myself faced with a cruel, predatory smile. "Something you apparently no nothing about. But do not worry, you will learn soon enough."

I begin to make out a retort, however, I find myself rudly interrupted.

"Kane. Abel." He calls the names out into the darkness, and for a moment there is a long silence. "Teach her. Now."

Then darkness begins fraying the edges of my vision, and I am dropped onto my stomach. Unable to get up, or produce any movement as the growling and stench clouds around me. I hear teeth snapping, and I squeeze my eyes shut as something warm and wet drips onto right shoulder. With a shiver for me, the slimy warmth trails down to my back, the horrible substance soaking through my shirt.

Suddenly-so quick I almost cried out is surprise-I feel a different kind of heat on the skin of my back. Pain shoots through me, hot and sharp. God it hurts, or else my mind thinks it should hurt because my body only feels the strange numbness.

_Keep your eyes open._

And then I am swallowed into the sea of darkness.


	3. Chapter 3Great

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

**Clary's POV:**

I wake up panting, the terror from my dream riping through me. It all felt so real...

I place a hand over my heart and will the memory of my nightmare to fade, I concentrate on the rapid beating of my heart until it slows and returns to normal. I glance at the clock and roll my eyes because it is 7:00 am, there is no use in me returning to sleep when I have my 8:00am class soon anyways so I quietly click off my alarm so it does not wake my roommate.

I shoot her an envious look at her dead slumber, so peaceful and oblivious to the world in her rock-like sleep like a regular sleeping beauty. I smile at the reference because my best friend really does sport an alikeness to the fairytale princess, just like she jokes that I am like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Oh yes, the princess and the bookworm. I shake my head and sigh. I power on my phone and as expected there is a text message and a voicemail from Zach, I ignore the voicemail immediately but flip up the text in curiosity.

_Clare-bear...I did not mean what I said. Please forgive me, babe. You know how I can be and how I love you, you are my girl and I never want that to change. I just get so frustrated sometimes because your body teases me everytime you shut me down, it is like torture. But you are my girl. Have lunch with me in the dining hall today at 12, I will make it up to you and show you that you will always be my number one girl._

I sigh again, text back a quick _Alright, _and then I walk over to the sink and wash my face. Staring at my reflection, I look so pale and borderline ghostly. God, who else would want to date you anyways? My reflection scowls back at me in disgust and I look away to go find clothes to change into to get ready for class. After changing into something decent, I eat breakfast and drink a cup of herbal tea before I head to my biology lab.

Walking briskly across campus, I get to the classroom about fifteen minutes early and pull out my book because the professor has not even arrived yet. Settling into the seat I have chosen for the semester I flip open _The Great Gatsby_ and continue reading the last chapter of the novel with the knowledge that _Wuthering Heights _is waiting to be cracked open in my bag after I have finished with Nick Carraway's explanations and opinions.

"Good book," a masculine voice rings out suddenly and I blink at the man now sitting next to me. No way...What are the odds that we would meet again on this big campus? Let alone be in the same class! Embry grins at my expression, which I am sure is attractive because I have to snap my mouth shut from my disbelief.

"Ye–" I clear my throat in attempt to sound clearer as I stare at him, bewildered. "Yes."

He snags the book from my stunned hands easily and turns to cover, raising an eyebrow at me with twinkling eyes. "The Great Gatsby, eh? Pray tell, what is so great about the Great Gatsby?"

I shake my head and smile at Embry. "Maybe you should read it and find out for yourself, Mr. Call." His smile broadens after I mention his last name.

"Maybe I will have to do that, Miss Clary." I shake my head and smile slightly as he hands me back my book. I continue reading a bit more even though I feel Embry's eyes watching me, until the chair across from Embry gets claimed and I glance up in curiosity. My eyes almost widen at the sight because the guy is just as big and muscular as Embry, oh no...not beef-heads. I get enough testosterone around Zach and all his frat brothers to last me a lifetime already.

"Howdy there," the guy grins at me and shakes himself off like a wet dog to rid himself of snowflakes that fell upon him outside. Oh dear, I can already tell he is going to be interesting. The class-clown type. "I am Quill," he announces in a horrible interrpretation of a French accent. I laugh and think of Keally, who has seems to have finally been beat in the category of bad attempts at accents.

"My name is Clary," I say with a small smile pulling at my lips and shut my book because the professor has arrived and is preparing for his lesson. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Quill."

I turn to put my book away in my bag while Embry and Quill begin speaking in a hushed voice.

"What do you mean he was gone already?" Embry's voice questions Quill and I can practically hear Quill's responding shrug. "Quill he cannot miss his classes, this is not high school anymore and we are actually paying for the education now."

"I know," Quill says easily. "But he is a wounded man, Embry."

"Yeah, well, he is about to be a wounded and indebt man with no education if he keeps this up. God, if Sam were here he would kick his butt."

"You know that is not true, the position Sam's at is wavering when it comes to Jake because of...you know," Quill replies and then they both fall silent while I am searching for a pencil. _I know I put it in here somewhere. _My hand closes over it just as I hear the seat in front of me scrape back in a new partners claim.

"Oh, keep your shirts. I am here aren't I?" Another masculine voice says to Embry and Quill and my heart sinks. _Crap...I am the only girl at this table. _I begin praying that he is not a beef-head but then I peer up at him as I rise back up in my seat. And then my heart stops not just because he is a beef-head but...oh my goodness...

I stare at this beautiful man before me and drop my pencil in awe not just because he is goregous but because there is something about him that causes my heart to stutter and race in a minutes time, he is like an oncoming heartattack on legs. And not only that but he was the one that ran into me and did not stop to apologize. _The jerk!_ My mouth presses in a firm line and I narrow my eyes at him as he bend to pick up my pencil for me.

"Here you go, I believe you dropped th–" he drops off his sentence and his eyes widen as he looks at me for the first time, stunned. A strange look enters his breathtaking gaze that warms my insides.

"You were the one who ran into me last night," I blurt out with narrowed eyes pinning him in a look of cold-civilty. He just stares at me with a horrified look morphing onto his face. _Maybe he is sorry? _Ha. My mind laughs at the thought of Zach being sorry for something like that but I suppose it is possible.

"Jake," Embry calls out to him after a very long silence. Jacob breaks the eye contact with me and looks at Embry, then he looks to Quill, and then finally his dark gaze rests on me once more before he bolts from his seat and leaves the room.

"Shit," Embry curses quietly under his breath as he stares at the door Jacob just exited.

_What the heck just happened?_

**Jacob's POV:**

She was so beautiful it hurt, with dark hair contrasting her pale skin, and those bright emerald eyes. I knew the imprint was taking place because it felt like nothing else but her mattered. That she was my only purpose, and I lived for her. I took one look at her and I felt like the heartbeat, which seemed no longer existent since Bella, was forced back inside at the sight of her.

Bella. The thought of her woke me from the thought of this girl, my imprint, and I pushed all the emotions for this girl-something starting with a C-aside. Bella, she was my only thought, and I will not bend to this curse and love another. Bella. I only wanted her, and if I could not get her to love me back-as much as she does that leech-than I will just do all that is possible to remain by her side. I will not blind myself of these emotions for my imprint, it is always Bella first. I have and will continue to love Bella. If not as a lover than as a friend, and I know Bella would not object to my suggestion.

**Clary's POV:**

Class begins and the table still has yet to say anything since Jacob stormed out, I sensed the tension happened often with their group so I felt obligated to make my concerns known.

"Look, I am sure you guys are lovely to be around but I need to know that you're serious about this because honestly I cannot afford to mess around with my grades, so just give me the word because I can move to a different table. I have to keep above a 3.5 to maintain my scholarship so this class is kind of a big deal for me," I say, hoping I am not coming off offensive. In response Embry and Quill look at me, dumbfounded.

"Of course, we are serious too. Jake has just been having some...problems. But are not normally like this," Embry says but gets a smirk from Quill. "Well, we are often like this but I promise we will put forth our end of the work."

I nod, a little unconvinced but I suppose I will just have to wait it out and see as the semester goes on. Through out class we are told that the first thing we will be covering is fetal pig dissection, which I am completely fine with but the boys throw me worried glances as if I might object to cutting into anything.

"What?" I whisper to them as the professor steps out to get the pigs and tells us to get the supplies from the front of the room. They exchange a glance and I roll my eyes, getting up to get the supplies since they clearly weren't moving. When I return they are still staring at me and it is making me a little uneasy; did I have something on my face, or something?

"Do you feel...like different, or anything?" What the hell was that suppose to mean? Did I feel different? No, but I am feeling a little weirded out by the way you're looking at me.

"Um, no?" I raise an eyebrow at them, meaning for my words to be just a statement but it comes out like a question. "I can handle dissections just fine, thank you." My voice sounding more confident than my previous words.

"Oh. Oh, yeah. Right. The dissection..." Embry says with hesitation, his mind clearly someplace else. He looks at Quill again and the both peer at me, silently, before turning their gaze to the door Jacob had stormed out of.

Finally, after being done with the awkardness of that class, I looked at my watch and see it is about time for me to head to the dinning hall to have lunch with Zach. I start my journey over but hear my name being called. Embry.

"Hey, Quill and I were just wondering what you were doing. We were going to head over for lunch, after we stop by our room first, and wanted to ask if you would like to join us?"

"I'm sorry. I can't today," I say. The expression on my face must have been quizical because he began talking really fast to explain himself.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, of course, we just thought we would throw the idea by you and see what you thought." Embry says.

"Oh. No, I did not mean that I would not want to. Ever. I just have plans to eat lunch with my boyfriend, Zach." At the word boyfriend Embry's eyes widen and he turns to look at Quill, who is staring curiously at me. Don't these guys know it is rude to stare? My god.

"_Boyfriend_?" Embry's tone is full of disbelief, and I raise an eyebrow at him. Is it really that hard to imagine me having a boyfriend, I mean really. "Um...yeah," I say lamely.

"Oh, well, alright. Maybe we'll see you there then I suppose." They wave a quick goodbye and I continue towards the dinning hall as they walk away, heads bowed close together in words of secrecy.


	4. Chapter 4 Is this Love?

**Clary's POV:**

Walking into the busy hall I search for Zach and find him at stilling at a table with a boquet of red roses in front of him, and seeing me his tanned face splits into a smile as her calls me over. I hate roses, I find them ugly and they smell horrible-which I am pretty sure I mentioned to Zach before, but I sit down and except the roses because he is trying.

"I already got us food. A new pledge is suppose to bring it over in a few minutes." Zach kisses me on the cheek and grabs my hand, "Clare-bear. I am sorry about last night, do you forgive me?" As if I can say no, Zach has made this situation impossible for me. Flowers, dinner, and frequent displays of affection. He seems sorry but that is what he said last time too, and each time he brings me out into public to apologise completely-which is slightly annoying because it puts me at advantage because I know Zach is the type of guy that will make a scene if he feels he needs to.

"Why don't we go talk about this more...privately?" I ask him, looking into his blue eyes. Zach frowns and draws his hands back, balling them into fists, and looking at me guiltly. "Clare, I really am sorry. It is just difficult sometimes-you are so sexy I cannot help myself in wanting you."

I look up at the ceiling and try and calculate the right words to say when a frat pledge shows up. I sigh as he makes a scene by showing up in a tailored butlor-styled suit. I feel my face heat up as prying eyes watch our table, like we are some sort of circius act. But Zach just pats the pledge on the back, thanking him for his hospitality, and tells him to go clean the bathrooms in the frat house now. I shake my head and cover my embarrassed face in my hands as girls swoon at the sight of Zach and glare at me, while guys around us make cat-calls in our direction with some making fun of the pledge that is walking away.

"Hey there Clary, we thought that was you over here." The voice breaks me out of my motification and I look up to lock eyes with Embry, who has Quill and a very unhappy looking Jacob tailing behind him. I have never been happier to see anyone in my life, anything to break through this embarrassing situation.

"Hey Embry, Quill, Jacob! Please, come sit with us?" Embry raises an eyebrow at my false high-pitched, happy tone but sits down across from me with Quill and Jacob following. "Zach this is Embry, Quill, and Jacob. They are in my biology lab, guys this is my boyfriend Zach." Zach looks from me to them, which causes me to remember he is the jealous type but I just force a smile hoping everything will go smoothly.

"So what are you guys on? HGH? Because I have to say whatever you take it works. Hard-core." Zach asks Embry. I resist the urge to smack my palm to my forehead at his beef-head question. But if Embry is offended by the question he does not show it because he just smiles at Zach and looks over at me.

"Actually, we don't take anything. We are from a reservation a few hours from here and a lot of our families have the good genes, but I never tire of hearing that question." Embry chuckles and looks at Quill who is laughing as well. Jacob just peers at Zach, like he is seeing him for the first time then looks at me-frowning.

"What are the flowers for? I hope we didn't interupt anything," Jacobs voice stikes the table suddenly, and the deepness of it settles over me with a pleasant shiver. I look at him to discover him watching me, eyes filled with curiosity as he direct the question towards me. However I find myself trapt in his dark gaze and cannot form words on my heavy tongue, instead Zach answers him.

"Oh, well, actually it was just a little misunderstanding between Clare-Bear and me but I wanted to show her how much I appriecate her being my girl." Zach looked at me, smiling. However I turned to stare at Jacob, wondering why he cared when he clearly was angered by my presence before.

Embry looks at Jacob, shakes his head, and whispers something in Jacobs ear which caused him to nod and calm down a bit. Weird.

"Clare and I have been together for a while, haven't we Clare-bear? Two years." Zach smiles at me, placing an arm around my waist, and tugs me close against him. I look at Embry and Quill, who are looking at Jacob with a worried expression, while Jacob locks eyes with Zach like two lions battling for dominance. It begins to make me a little uneasy, especially when Jacob starts to tremble a bit.

"Three years but yes," I say with hesitation, raising a glass of water to my lips. Jacob looks at me and immediately stops shaking, a frown rising onto his features as he stares at the roses on the table.

"Clare-bear, I have dinner plans for us, shall we be on our way?" Zach asks, with his gaze locked on Jacob before turning to me with a smile and tightening his arm around my waist-like I am some sort of prize he is claiming. I start to get a little angry at the fact that he is treating me like a piece of meat, or some trophy he waves in the face of others. I mean it is not like I am something special but there is no reason for Zach to provoke my new friends. Wait. Did I really just call them friends? I barely know them. I shake my head to rid myself of these absurd thoughts.

"I have class and a club meeting, I can't go." I look at Zach and see his blue eyes harden as his smile becomes less prominent. "Besides, don't you have pledges to attend to tonight?"

"That's right, I believe I do. I forgot. Will you come over to my place after?" I sigh and accept his request because if I don't we'll just end up getting into another argument later and I don't feel like dealing with that again tonight.

I get up to leave and grab my bag, following behind Zach after telling Embry, Quill and Jacob goodbye. However before I leave the hall I feel an uncommonly warm hand on my shoulder, which causes sparks of electricity to flow through me like an active current. I look up into the dark eyes of Jacob Black, who still has his hand placed on my shoulder, and raise my eyebrow in curiosity.

"You forgot your flowers," he says in that deep voice that sends another tremor down my spine. He notices his hand still on my shoulder and withdraws it so fast you would think I was on fire, then he hold out the flowers like a peace offering. I look at the ugly, smelly flowers and accept them. I thank Jacob and turn away, walking down the street with my heart pounding like a hammer in my chest.

**Jacob's POV:**

Embry told me to be nicer to my imprint, even if I was not going to try and pursue her he said I should at least respect her enough to not treat her like a flesh-eating virus. I accepted his request, and that is why I walked into the dinning hall with Embry and Quill and proceeded to make conversation with Clary. And her boyfriend. Zach. The name was like poison on my tongue, he did not deserve her but at the same time I did not want her. So what was the problem? I should be happy that he is taking her off my hands. Right? Wrong. All I feel is a rage taking over me as I watch him touch her, stringing her in front of me like she is some trophy he likes to show off.

I want to fight this musclely, toolish fratboy and feel his bones break under my overpowering strength. And then I look into Clary's eyes, those gem-like orbs that shine brightly in contrast with her dark-brown hair, and my entire being becomes still like a ocean calming after a raging storm.

And then I remember Bella. Bella, I recoil back into her name, and retreat back to the comfort of loyalty to my love. The person I really love, not some fabrication like my imprint.


	5. Chapter 5 What the Shelter?

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

**Clary's POV:**

After riding the bus to the shelter-where I work-I waltz in tired but excited to see the animals. The day is full and busy with cleaning kennels, cages, feeding the animals, and taking the dogs out for walks. Meanwhile, I am looking like all kinds of hot mess-which, by the way, is no where near decent. In my dirty sweat pants, hooded sweatshirt, sneakers, and my hair in a braid draping over my right shoulder that by this point is a disaster and falling out of place. Most likely I could be mistaken for a bum on the street,or maybe someone who woke up in a ditch.

Anyways, with me looking like this, I always find it awkward to see people that I know and have to acknowledge. And when I get up from cleaning a kennel to help someone who is looking at the dogs I stand awkwardly as I take in the sight of Quill-who is holding a little girl in his arms and talking about the dogs to her-and Jacob. However their attentions seem to be on the chocolate lab in the one kennel, with Quill pointing as her describes something to the child and Jacob laughs lightly at the pair, so they do not seem to notice my appearance.

"Do you need any help? You can take him out into the playpen if you want, Bear is really nice and playful." After a quick inhale of breathe I spout this out and find the boys widening their eyes in surprise at me with their mouths hung open. It is certainly attractive, the whole deer-in-the-headlights look. Well, I suppose I am a sight to see at the moment. Oh well.

The little girl squirms in Quill's shocked arms and he lets her down without thinking, watching as she walks up to me with a flabbergasted look on his face, but I place my attentions on the little girl scrutinizing me.

"Why are you all dirty?" She gestures to my appearance, while her innocent eyes look me over again as she asks in a serious tone and I cannot help but laugh a little.

"I work here and the animals can get a little...messy," I say to her and smile. Accepting my answer she smiles back, nodding as if to say 'of course', and extends her small hand out to me while pushing a stray hair out of her face and behind her ear. "My names Claire, what is your name?"

I smile, crouching down, and wrap my pale hand around her tiny tanned one. "My names Clarissa, I prefer Clary, but some people call me Claire too," I say and Claire's eyes widen as her face splits into a big grin that brightens up her whole face.

"Your names Claire too? But why do prefer Clary, don't you like the name Claire?" Claire asks, with her small face cocked to the side, before whipping her head back to look at Quil as if to confirm her opinion with his presence. Meanwhile, Quil stands there gazing at Claire with adoration and beaming like a kid in the candy store while Jacob shifts his weight from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable with this situation.

"No. It is nothing like that, Claire is the perfect name for a cute girl like you, but my mother is named Claire so I just preferred to go by Clary."

"Your mommy is named Claire too?" Her wide eyes are so adorable that I have to resist the urge to hug her, it made me think of my two nieces back at home. Thinking of them, or any of my other family always caused my stomach to clench because although I loved my sisters kids I cherished my time at school, and almost always dreaded going home.

"Yes," I say slightly distracted. "She is." I glance up to see every ones reactions.

Jacob looks at me with a puzzled expression and opens his mouth as if to say something but then snaps it shut and remains silent. With a shock I realize the look almost seem...concerned. Then my eyes fall on Claire, her young face beaming with excitement.

"Is she as pretty as you are?" Claire asks, and her face is so serious that I cannot help but laugh a little. Both the boys smile as well, Quill down at Claire and Jacob just looked at me with a strange, small smile on his face.

"Nooo," I say, still laughing. "She is much prettier than I am, but thank you very much for the compliment."

Claire smiles brightly at me, "your welcome!" I return the smile easily, my heart filling up with warmth at how sweet she is.

"So did you want to take Bear out?"

"Do I ever," she bounces on the balls of her feet with that smile plastered on her face. "But Jaaacob said we should see if we can take out _that _doggie." She rolled her eyes at Jacob and pointed at a small Jack Russell terrier named Chester.

"Well, I tell you what. How about you and Quill can take Bear, and I will walk behind you guys with Chester and Jacob? That way you can switch between the two dogs and see which you like more, and Jacob here will get to walk the one he wants as well. Then, everyone will be happy." My suggestion causes a series of reactions: Claire is excited and starts bouncing again, Quill looks torn between throwing a concerned look at Jacob and sending Claire that look of adoration and happiness, and Jacob appeared to be fighting to force down a very unpleasant expression.

"Oh. Can we, Quilly? Can we, can we, can we? Pleeease." Quill expression of adoration for Claire increases, practically smothering the room, and he smiles brightly at her. As if she had to beg, it seemed all Claire had to do was suggest-let alone ask-Quill for something and he would already be nodding his head in reply before she even finished. It was pretty cute.

"Yay!" Claire squealed and threw herself into Quills arms for a touching embrace, and then she began bouncing around in excitement again. She began asking me questions about the things we could do with the dogs, where we could go, and other intense questions that popped into her brain. During the times that I answered her questions, Quill turned to Jacob and shot him a sympathetic and slightly guilty look. Honestly, was I really that bad to be around?

"Right. Well, I will just go get the leashes and then we can be on our way." I walk away without another look in Jacob's direction, grab two leashes, and walk back while trying not to so awkward with this situation. Jacob does not like me, that much was obvious, but I was determined to at least have civil conversation with him.

I had to do my job. If he did not like me and had some sort of problem with me then he would just have to deal. Tough.

I take out Bear and hand him over to Quil, then I turn to take out the ever-so-energetic Chester. The dog may be small but do not let that fool you, he will sure give you a run for your money.

"Here you go," I say in a singsong voice, handing the leash to Jacob. He grasps the handle of the leash just in time to be yanked forward, and I have to bite the sides of my cheeks to keep from laughing. Honestly, it is a _little_ funny to see a man as big as Jacob stumble around because of a small dog. Granted that said dog is a bit of a hellion. I flashed my hands out before the leash slipped from his hand, grabbing hold of both the leash and his arm-to steady Jacob.

"Easy," I say firmly to Chester, and tug him back until he begins to calm down considerably. "You okay?" My question is directed to Jacob, who is staring at my hand that still remains on his warm arm.

"Sorry," I mutter softly, and let my hand drop to my side. Casually I brush it against my leg to rid myself of embarrassing sweaty palms, if Jacob notice he sure did not show it. I clear my throat in hopes of clearing the awkward silence that has filled the air between us. "Shall we?"

Jacob nods, silently looking around the room until his eyes rest on the shelters entrance-a longing look entering his expression. For a moment I half-expect him to make a run for the door, which is kind of ridiculous but that is just my opinion. Honestly, I do not even smell that bad. Honest.

We make our way out into the sunshine and my lips pull into a easy smile as the warmth from the sun spreads through me. A slight breeze kisses my face, the sensation filling my senses and relaxing me so I close my eyes for a brief moment.

"How are you able to know where you are going?" Jacob's voice breaks through the silence surrounding us, a husky tone that causes an unexpected shiver to run through my body.

"Huh?" Good response, Clary. Really smart, brilliant. I open my eyes and stare at Jacob, slightly embarrassed.

"You had your eyes closed and were walking," he pointed out with a small smile turning up the corners of his mouth. "You are lucky you did not fall and hurt yourself."

I roll my eyes at him and smirk. "Please. I am not made of glass, Black. I was perfectly fine."

"Black?" He arches an eyebrow at me, and his eyes fill with mild amusement.

"That is your name, is it not?" I quip with slight attitude.

To my surprise, he laughed and it was a sound that filled my heart with a delicious warmth. And watching his expression that followed I believe the sound-and act-surprised him as well.

"What is your name?"

"Clary," I reply smartly. I turn and grin at him.

"No," he says, shaking his head. "You know that is not what I meant." And his face lights up with a smile on his face, a real smile that hints at no signs of pain or forcefulness.

It transforms his face and for a shocking moment I become very aware of how handsome he is because when Jacob Black is not scowling or sullen he is _very _attractive. Not to say he is not all the time, but it just became more obvious. Because when Jacob smiles...he is a hunk. Surely he is someone who has broken dozens of hearts in his time.

"Um, are you alright?" he asks with an arched eyebrow.

The question snaps me back into focus and I realize that I have been gawking at him for a considerable amount of time. How wonderful. I feel my face burning up in a blush, which I am sure is very noticeable on my face due to my pigmently-challenged skin.

"Yeah," I say weakly, then clear my throat in order to actually produce firm words. "Yes. I am perfectly fine."

"If you say so," Jacob replies as the corners of his mouth turn down.

A short silence followed but before I could attempt to fill it Jacob continued to speak in a thoughtful, teasing tone.

"So you never actually answered my question," he stated with that small smile quirked on his lips.

"Hmm..." I turn my face away-as if to search for something of interest-and try to conceal the fact that I am smiling. "I have no clue what you are talking about."

"Is that so?" Jacob laughs. My heart lifts at the sound, a strange lightness filling my chest that causes my heart to feel like it is floating.I peer over at him casually and instant wish I did not because his dark eyes cause a pull in my stomach once our eyes meet.

"Knight," I say softly. My voice is practically a whisper. And staring at Jacob I notice his expression seems to soften a bit.

"What about the night?" he asks with an arched eyebrow.

"No," I laugh. "Knight, it is my last name, as in K-N-I-G-H-T and not N-I-G-H-T. Like

knight in shinning armor."

The small, amused smile on Jacob's face spreads into a wide grin and I am struck by how handsome he is again. I shake my head slowly with a small smile on my face and a troubled mind.

"Clarissa." I feel a tug on my heart by the way he says it, caressing the c and the s' until letting my name fade off in a gentle breathe. "Clarissa Knight."

"Clary," I correct him weakly, trying to keep the blush rising up my neck and onto my cheeks.

"Right," Jacob says firmly. Another small smile turning up the corners of his mouth, which I have seemed-most embarrassingly-to developed an odd fascination with. "Clary."

Our eyes lock and I feel his brown eyes swallow me up, my pulse quickening almost as instantly as the heat entering my face. And then I force myself to down, away from his dark eyes that held skimmed over me with such intimacy. I turn my gaze to the ground and bend down to pluck one of the tiny flowers burrowed in the grass.

"Nice. Do you have a weird fascination with weeds or something?" he guesses with an arched eyebrow and a smirk.

"Forget me not," I say slightly distracted as I twirl the tiny stem between my thumb and forefinger carefully. After the words fall out of my mouth I realize I was not seemingly answering his question directly, in fact, I was probably confusing the heck out of him.

"Excuse me?" he asks, his dark eyes widening consideribly in surprise at my words.

"It is-ah-it's the flower." I clear my throat to not sound so dang squeaky. "The flower is called a forget-me-not." I try not to cringe at how lame I sound, instead I carefully twirl the delicate blue-and-yellow flower between my fingers.

"Ahhh," he smiles as his eyes spark with amusement. "I see. It is very...nice." He is trying not to laugh, and once I notice this I bite the insides of my cheeks to restrain my own smile.

"Shush up," I say teasingly. I turn my heel away from him and walk ahead of him, smirking because I know Chester does not like to be walked in front of. He likes to believe he is in control and in-the-lead of things, he has a bit of an ego. It is a habit we have been trying to break him of but after Jacob's mocking, I cannot help but smirk as Chester yanks him forward.

"You know-ah, darn you dog-you are still holding that puny weed." I look at the flower in my palm once more, admiring the beauty of something so small and pretty, before throwing it lightly into the slight breeze.

I continue walking forward, glancing back occasionally to check how Jacob is doing because that is part of my job.

"It is your favorite, isn't it?" I stop walking and turn to look at Jacob in curiosity and slight confusion.

"Excuse me?" I raise my eyebrow at him.

"A forget-me-not. It is your favorite flower, isn't it?" He smirked, and tries to cross his arms across his chest but Chester yanks forward so the aloof, know-it-all effect he is going for is kind of tarnished.

"How did you-I mean-maybe. Maybe it is, what does it matter?" How the heck had he guessed? I held that flower for practically two-seconds.

"And you hate roses," he adds. Completely ignoring my question, I might add. "Don't you?"

My eyes widen at his comment, and his smirk becomes more prominent at my reaction. "How could you _possibly _know that?" I breathe out the question but it reaches my ears sounding more like a statement.

"Just guessing," he says and steps past me, leaving me behind momentarily stunned. And I notice that he is twirling a forget-me-not in the hand he is not holding the leash, twirling it between his thumb and forefinger.

Who is this guy?

**Review? Please =] **


	6. Chapter 6 In My Head

**I do not own **_**Twilight! **_**Or any book by Jane Austen, though they are all incredible =]**

**Clary's POV:**

I thought a run would clear my head. I thought it would take me away from all the worries running through my mind: keeping my scholarship, having enough money for necessities, keeping up with service projects and keeping Zach happy. However, somehow in between that I always seem to lose sight of my own happiness and I guess that is the main question. Am I happy?

For some reason the question makes me think of Jacob, and how he took off without a word right after walking Chester without looking back once to see if I was watching. Frowning, I take a path into the woods until the trail ends and my feet are hiking around fallen trees and crunching on the leaves covering the ground.

The bag on my back thumps quietly to the rhythm of my footsteps, until I find my spot overlooking the city and settle down a good distance from the cliff-side. I take out my book and flip it to page sixteen and become absorbed in Jane Austen's classic tale of Persuasion.

I hear my phone vibrate in my bag and with a quick glance at the screen I see Zach's name shout out at me for attention, I silence the call and stare at the screen until my phone announces that I have a new voicemail.

"Hey babe, I wanted to let you know that I have a frat meeting in a bit so I will not be around for dinner. But we are having a party tonight at the house and I want to show my best girl off to everyone so wear something hot and get your sexy ass over here by around 9ish. See you tonight," he finishes and I can practically hear the smug smile on his face.

"Oh Fredrick," I sigh, as a sudden frustrated feeling overwhelms me. "Why can you not be real?"

The sound of a twig breaking echoes through the silence of the forest and I whip my head around to search for the source of the noise. Instantly, I try to resist the urge to scream but a small sound of alarm escapes my lips and the massive animal flicks his eyes to mine.

The creature is huge, a wolf on steroids with a thick coat of fur and paws the size of dish-plates. I want to run—a foolish urge that would be pointless since this beast would obviously outrun me—but his eyes lock me in place like a magnetic hold.

They are a gentle brown, the dark color of the chocolate that I so much enjoy every day even though it is a guilty pleasure, so I keep my feet stay planted on the ground in front of me as the animal nears with slow, careful steps that in any other case I would imagine to be predatory. However, for some unfathomable reason, I do not think that it is going to attack me so I just kept my eyes calmly on it as it steps closer to where I sit.

I hear its heavy pant when I turn to glance at the page that I was reading, and then calmly read the passage out-loud as I hear its claws scrap across the rock beside me.

"Captain Wentworth had no fortune. He had been lucky in his profession, but spending freely, what had come freely, and realized noth-ing." My voice slightly trembled at the last word but that was mostly because when I glanced up the wolf was laid down next to me with its head resting on its paws in a very domesticated way. And those eyes, god those eyes, looked at me with the sweetest puppy dog stare. It seemed to be almost…listening to what I was saying.

I read a few more lines, glanced his way, and saw that he was indeed still looking at me with those patient eyes as if waiting for me to continuing reading.

"He was headstrong," I began softly. His ears perked up at my words and his head rose slightly from his paws, as if he was urging me to continue what I was saying. "He was brilliant, he was headstrong. Lady Russell had little taste for wit; and of any other thing approaching to imprudence of horror."

The wolf made a small whining noise in the back of his throat and when I looked at him his head was cocked side-ways in a ridiculously cute, confused gesture.

"You see," I hesitated for a moment and then angled myself towards the animal while in the back of my head something told me that I should keep my distance. "You see. The main character, Anne, she fell in love with Fredrick—that is Captain Wentworth—but she was only nineteen when he proposed to her."

The wolf slowly lowered its head near its paws and then—much to my surprise—began carefully inching closer in tiny movements, as if not to alarm me. I stared for a small moment until the wolf stopped inches from where my right leg was propped up by my left in a mermaid-like position as I held the novel in my hands.

The wolf's head neared my hand, which was curled in a trembling hold on the books binding, and I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath as I waited in anticipation for my hand to be bitten.

Wetness touched the back of my hand but it was not from my own blood, no, for when I cracked open an eye the wolf's nose was gently nudging my hand into the book. A slight smile touched my lips and I scanned the page over again.

"Lady Russell persuaded Anne to call off the engagement. Status in society was very important than so it could not be damaged, even though Anne loved him…loved him so much." My hands clenched the pages, wrinkling the edges slightly until the wolf let out another low whine. Surprised, I blinked back tears from my eyes and loosen my grip on the book. I frown and look down at the wolf that looks up at me with worried eyes.

"Oh," I wipe away a tear that escaped from the corner of my eye. "Why, this is ridiculous." He nudges his nose into my wrist and I feel warm fur brush against my leg then the warmth settles on my knee, where he placed his head. I set the novel aside and slowly hold my hand over the wolf's head, the palm of my hand hovering over his warm, wood-scented fur. He peers at me with those eyes that soften like chocolate that has been left in the sun too long. So startlingly familiar, that I feel a strange pull in my stomach.

My hand glides over the rough coat, pale skin against dark russet that rises and falls with each deep breath the animal takes. I tangle my fingers in between the strands in awe by the very events that are happening because this is surely a dream, and I am not really here with a wolf cuddling against me.

Suddenly, my phone begins to vibrate and I while I look at the screen to see that Keally is having some sort of fashion emergency the wolf suddenly rises from his position and takes off into a proportion of the forest that is thick with trees.

"Well," I sigh quietly. "I was just about to leave anyways."

My phone vibrates as if to test me on how truthful my comment is so I begin walking slowly back to campus while looking at my phone again expecting to see Keally but instead it is Zach's number that pops up on my screen.

"Hey, I know I missed your call earlier but I was a bit…" I trail off when I hear the distant sound of a woman giggling on the other end. I check my phone again, yep, it is Zach's number.

"Zach?" I say into the phone, slightly curious and listen for a response. And boy did I get one.

"Zach!" More giggling from the familiar voice followed my boyfriend's name, and I distantly hear his low chuckling (which he imagines to be sexy) and another squeal from the girl. I listen closer because obviously his phone must have called me by accident, and since he is at a frat meeting the girl could be one of his "brothers" girlfriends or something.

"Zach," more giggling follows and I hear rustling in the background and another squeal. "Stop that!" However, the playful voice that she is using suggests anything but her wanting him to stop whatever he is doing. Something in my stomach plummets and I stare at the phone, frowning, before disconnecting the call.

I continue walking, while my mind contemplates the possibilities. I shake my head for even considering it.

"Three years. Clary that cannot be for nothing, I mean he could have dumped me anytime within there. No, there has to be some explanation. You have always been about trust and honesty, and he knows and understands that but what…what can this mean?" I shake my head again.

"It was a misunderstanding," I say firmly. But then why is there still that drop in my stomach? And, more importantly, why did I feel a jab of hope in my heart?

**Soooo tell me what you think? Reviews, I love them! Please?**


	7. Chapter 7 Power

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

**Thank you to all those following the story, reviewed, and made it a favorite of yours! =]**

**Enjoy!**

**Clary's POV:**

After getting home and helping Keally with her "emergency," which basically just consist of her not knowing which shoes to wear with what dress she was going to wear to the party Zach's frat was holding tonight.

"Seriously, Clary, how are you not stumbling around the room like me in a mad dash to figure out what to wear? I mean it is your boyfriend's party and you are not the least concerned about how you are going to look," she says into the mirror while holding a short, tight-fitting black dress in one hand and a blue flowy little number that likely would reach just passed mid-thigh. "Which one do you think?"

Since the direct question was to me I looked up from the textbook I was reading and squinted at the two choices for a moment before deciding. "The blue one, it matches your eyes and would go perfect with those mesh-like, black leggings you have. Then you can wear those new, blue strappy heels you just bought last week—the ones with the black buckled straps."

Keally nods her head eagerly at my suggestion and tosses the black dress onto the chair to be momentarily forgotten.

"And I do know what I am going to wear," I say quietly, not bothering to look up from the paragraph I am reading.

"Oh really, and pray tell what might that be Miss Knight?" Her teasing tone is muffled by her changing into her dress. "I do not take it you will be asking to borrow my black dress?"

"Ab-so-lute-ly not," I reply instantly. I would rather wear a garbage bag that wear something so revealing, it would probably cover more of me too.

"What _are_ you going to wear then?"

I look at her and gesture up and down to the clothes I am currently wearing, which is a pair of dark jeans, a grey, black and white tank-top that buttons-up the front, and a pair of black, knee-high heeled boots.

"Really?" I shot a glare at her incredulous tone, and she flashes me a smile. "I mean, of course, you look great."

Wordlessly, I turn back to the paragraph I had abandoned. "What does it matter if I wear a short skirt or a pair of jeans anyways? I just do not see the point," I say with my eyes on trained on the words in front of me but not really processing them.

"You think Zach's going to care," Keally comments more like a statement than a question. "I mean you do look great, by the way, but is that why I heard that worried tone in your voice?"

I shake my head, sending an array of curly dark hair to spring into my face. "No, Zach should respect my decisions"

"Well," Keally hesitates as if wanting to say more but bites her lip smearing some of her red lipstick on her front tooth. "Well, you look beautiful—as always."

"So do you Keal," I reply and smile at her.

"So do you think there are going to be some extraordinary boys there?" I raise an eyebrow at her and she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. "Besides Zach of course," she says flashing another grin.

"Yeah," I say slowly getting distracted. "Right. Zach. But of course there will be some prospects for you to stomp on their hearts with the heel of your shoe."

"Perfect," she proclaims in mock-seriousness while rubbing her hands together in a particularly evil way. Then she cuts her blue eyes to mine and bursts into a fit of giggles. "But what was with the tone in the whole "right, Zach" part of that sentence? Are you in him having issues again?"

"No," I say carefully, not really wanting to get into it all and part of me just not wanting to believe something could be going on with Zach and another girl.

"Yeah, right, I definitely believe that. What is it girl?" Keally drops down onto her bed and stares at me with a hand cupped under her chin. "Fess up."

I let out a long sigh then explain what I heard on the phone, meanwhile, Keally's expression darkened the more I spoke. "So you think he is cheating?"

"No," I say considering. "At least I do not think so, there has to be some other explanation."

"Of course," she says slightly suspiciously. Though I know she has her own personal bias towards Zach because of some of the fights we have had led to me coming home on occasion frustrated and confused.

"Well, whatever happens I am here…just…" I look at her as she smears her red lipstick off even more by chewing on her lip. "Just be careful, and remember you are too good for anyone."

"I do not know about that," I reply giving her a small smile. "But thank you."

"I said it before and I will say it again, Clary, you are too good for a jerk like him." Her voice took on a hard edge that almost startled me but I just frowned at her slightly.

"I have known him all my life and been with him for 3 years, Keal. That cannot all be for nothing, can it?"

"I do not know, Clar. I really do not."

"Well, let's just make the best of tonight then." I get up from my studying and grab my black jacket, folding it over my arm. "Shall we?"

Keally looks at me for a long moment before walking up beside me and loping her arm through mine. "We shall."

**One hour later.**

I walked around scanning the room for any sign of Zach, pushing through big throngs of people so it was really my fault that I ran into someone. "Dom!" I call out to one of Zach's fraternity brothers, one of the few that is not a total jerk.

"Fair Clare," Dom says with a bright smile. "What are you doing all by yourself down here, my lady?"

"Looking for Zach, have you seen him?"

"No," he says but he avoids looking me in the eyes. "But I am sure he is around here somewhere."

"Dom." My voice is dead serious and causes his grey eyes to widen and look at me with concern. "If I would ask you something would you tell me the truth?"

"Of course," he replies hesitantly. "I would not lie to you Clary. You know that." And I did know that because Zach had told me that Dom had developed a little crush on me, one that he was supposed to keep a secret so I would not find out, but also because he was a genuinely nice guy.

"Did…did one of the frat guy's girlfriend come over to help set up the party or something earlier?"

"No," he said uneasily. "It was just the three of us here because everyone else had to get other stuff done before the party tonight."

I breathe in and out, carefully, but it really doesn't feel like anything is getting through and my heads feeling airy. My stomach turns at the next question I ask because I am suspecting the answer.

"So it was just you, Zach, and another guy?"

Dom gives me a confused look and speaks without seeming to think it all the way through. "What do you mean? He told Brad and I that he was going to be with you, and that was why he could not come to help—"He breaks off suddenly and widens his eyes as if suddenly realizing something.

"What? What is it, Dom?

"Nothing," he said quietly and not meeting my eyes again. "I will try and find Zach for you, I am sure I misunderstood him earlier when he said he was not going to help out because…yeah." With one last tortured glance in my direction, Dom scurried away as if I had slapped him.

I stare after his retreating figure, openmouthed, until a hand covers my eyes from behind and begin to freak out and mentally flip through what kickboxing techniques I should deliver to my attacker.

"Guess who?" My shoulders instantly relaxed at the sound of the familiar voice, the playful humor tied up in the two words.

"Embry," I breathe out a sigh of relief as my heart begins to calm down from the thought of some random stranger creeping up behind me.

"Man." The warm hand uncovers my eyes and I blink at the sudden rush of cold on my face. "You are good. How did you guess it was me?"

"Lucky guess," I replied to him with a smile breaking out on my face in order to match his contagious one. "So are you here with Quill and Jacob?"

"I sure am," Quill announces dramatically before Embry can open his mouth to speak. "But Jakey-boy is off finding the little boys' room, but we did not know you were going to be here. Did we Embry darling?" He smiles sweetly at Embry, who in turn glares at him like he wants to punch Quill. Hard.

I look between the two of them and burst out laughing.

**Jacob's POV:**

_Are there no bathrooms in this place? Seriously._

Jacob walks past another line of doors and listens in for a moment only to discover the the doors offer either one of two things: one being an empty bedroom, or two being a bedroom occupied by the most obnoxious moans he had ever had the chance to encounter.

He takes a few more steps but pauses when his ears prick at the sound of people arguing in the next room, and then Zach and some guy with green eyes and curly, dark hair come out of the room.

"What the hell do you think you are doing interrupting me, Dominic?" Zach asks the question in a deep growl, his body tensing ready to fight.

"What the hell do you think _you_ are doing Zach? Clary's downstairs looking for you and you are up here with some random whore, I do not understand you. Are you stupid? You have a great girl but you just do not see it, do you?"

"You just say that because you cannot have her. She is mine," Zach says while his lips curl into a smile. My body begins to shake at his words.

"Jesus, Zach, she is not some object that you dangle in people's faces. She is a person, a wonderful person, and you sure as hell do not deserve her."

Something flashes in Zach's eyes and before Jacob could blink he had the guy—Dominic—up against the wall by his throat. "Be careful to remember your place, Dom. She is mine; I marked her years ago before your pathetic little self even laid eyes on her and I will be damned before you try to tell me what to do. Do I have to bring this up to the alpha at next meeting, or are you going to be a good, little boy and _keep_ your toes in line?" At the word keep he squeezes his hand around Dominic's throat for emphasis so that he is choking for breathe. Dominic shakes his head slowly, painfully from side to side and Zach releases him to drop down on his knees on the floor—coughing.

"You made the right decision, _brother_." Dominic glares at him from his position on the floor and scowls.

"You do not deserve her," Dominic pants.

"Despite your opinion, Clary is mine." Zach glowers at the man bent on the floor, who has begun to tremble slightly. "And you think you do?"

"Do what?"

"You think you deserve her?" He growls and takes a step closer to Dominic to intimidate him. "You—a lowly pup that has no power over anyone or anything—without me the alpha would not have even known you exist."

Dominic begins to laugh. "You do not get it, do you? It is not about power, I could care less about what rank I am but it is her I care about. And that what you are doing—what that idiotic brain of yours thinks is right—is going to hurt her."

"Is that a challenge I hear, Dom?" Zach looks at him, chest heaving up and down in order to control his anger.

"I am not stupid, Zach. I know that you are more powerful than I am but I would try my hardest if that meant it helped Clary." Dominic peered up at Zach through sad, green eyes.

Zach grabbed him by the shirt-front and slammed him up against the wall again with a force that caused the wall to shudder and the boy to groan at impact. "Stay away from her, Dominic. I swear if you so much as speak a word to her of any of this, I will kill you myself."

Zach drops the boy, who immediately crumples to the floor. Then he opens the door to the room they had come out of, yanks a blonde girl in particularly risqué clothing out into the hall, and sandwiches her against the wall with his body—roughly kissing and groping her body while staring straight at Dominic.

Zach storms down the hallway, and the girl comes down the hallway where Jacobs standing. She passes me, winks, and swings her hips seductively. Jacob shakes his head in disgust and turns his attention to the guy who is now sitting on the floor with his head hanging above his knees.

"That guy needs to get his butt beat, badly."

Dominic whips his head up at Jacob's words, squints up at him for a moment before widening his eyes, and then he quirks his mouth into a small smile. "Yeah, he does but I do not know a soul brave enough to try and make an attempt."

Jacob offers his hand to help the guy up, which he accepts gratefully and pats him on the back in appreciation. "I'm Dom. Are you a new pledge here or something?"

Jacob cracks a small smile and shakes his head. "No, I am just here with some friends. And I am Jacob by the way."

Dominic nods, silently and begins walking down the hallway Zach had disappeared down. "You were right though," Jacob says suddenly. Dominic stops and turns around slowly, raising his eyebrows in question.

"I usually am but about what exactly this time?" He tries to pull the statement off like a joke but the severity of the nights events still hang in the air.

"He does not deserve her," Jacob breathes out and stares down at his feet in thought.

"You know Clary?" The surprise in his question is almost ridiculously obvious. Jacob just nods, silently, and stares around the hall as the rage of what that snake Zach was doing to her creped in.

"Yeah, he doesn't deserve her."

**Uh, oh. Will Clary find out? Will Jacob tell her? And what is going on at these "meetings" Zach is talking about? Review! Tell me if you have any thoughts or ideas =] Please?**


	8. Chapter 8 Threats

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

**Clary's POV:**

Quill is in the middle of a very elaborate and dramatic story, one where Embry keeps looking over at me and rolling his eyes but smiling widely, and then Jacob comes plunging through the crowd of people. A couple girls eye his appreciatively, racking their eyes up and down him from head to toe with hungry eyes. But he, of course, does not notice this and I practically roll my eyes as the girl's glances turn to full on glares at me when he joins our triangle of conversation.

"Guys, I need to talk to you." Jacob's voice is rough and I realize his body is trembling slightly. "Now."

The silence that settles over the tree of them is almost overwhelming so I decide to make an attempt to break it. Jacob's eyes widen slightly when he looks at me, as if he just took notice that I was standing with them and that I was not just some random girl.

"Clary," he breathes my name and his body tenses.

"Is everything alright?" I ask him, ignoring another girl that walks slowly by—this one in a tight red dress and red lipstick—who eyes the three boys up, glances at me and then full on glares. "You seemed distressed?"

Jacob just continues to stare at me, mouth agape. Embry and Quill exchange a worried look and Quill bumps into his shoulder. "Want to go get a drink, buddy? I think I saw a nice bottle of H20 sitting on ice over yonder." He swings his arm around Jacob's shoulders, his body begins to relax slightly and he looks at Quill for a moment before nodding.

Expecting him to ignore my question, I go to turn my attention back to Embry when two hands slip around my waist and warmth covers my back. Slightly alarmed I look down at the hands and relax when I see Zack's fraternity ring on his familiar hands.

"Hey," I say turning my head up to Zack and smiling. "Where have you been, handsome? I have been trying to look for you. I ran into Dom earlier and he was acting all weird, and then said he would try and find you for me."

Zach's body tensed at the mention of Dominic's name and I cock my head to the side at him curiously. "Is everything going okay with the party?"

"Of course Clare-bear, we are on schedule as always. What a stupid question to ask," Zach replies with a semi-teasing/semi-serious smile.

"I was just asking," I say shouldering off the comment and noting how he did not answer my first question and observation. He slides his arms out from me and looks down at me with a greedy look, scanning over my body and then frowning slightly.

"What?" I raise an eyebrow at him and noticing the slight look of intoxication in his eyes, the boys must have pre-gamed before the party. Great.

"I thought I asked for you to wear something sexy so I could show you off to everyone, you are wearing the most clothing in this house right now babe." His eyes appraise the jacket tied tightly at my waist to my jean-clad legs, and then stop at my heeled boots. Folding my arms across my chest, slightly self-conscious, and looking around the room because even though I know he does not mean to be a jerk the comment strikes a nerve.

"It is freezing out tonight, Zachary, and I was not about to lose my toes to frostbite." I look into the crowd and feel the corners of my mouth pull down. "Thank you for the concern though," I mumble.

"I think she looks beautiful," a familiar, deep voice calls out and I glance at Jacob in confusion. What the hell?

Zach looks at the three boys who all look kind of—well—not happy. Jacob and Zach do a weird stare down and I shake my head. "I am going to try and find Keally. I have not seen her in a while and I am starting to get worried," I say and begin to walk away with my shoulders back and head held high.

However I made it about a few steps away before I am roughly tugged back, and Zach looks at me with a strange fire in his eyes. "I am sure she is fine," he says but I read his hard, blue eyes clearly. _Do not embarrass me_.

He wraps his arms around my waist possessively and squeezes hard enough that it makes me wince slightly. "Who are your _friends_ Clare-bear?"

"You met them earlier," I say annoyed because I know he remembers but he is just trying to decrease their importance to his memory. And frankly I am kind of angered at him for his behavior.

He stares at me for a long moment and then pulls me to him, grabbing my face roughly and kissing me hard on the mouth. I hear a low growl as I am struggling to break away from him, fury filling my veins because he knows how I do not like to feel overpowered and weak.

I place my fingertips on his chest lightly and then flatten my hands quickly and with a force that causes him to stumble backwards. He stares at me and shakes his head, laughing to himself. "God, do you really have to be such a prude. What the hell, Clary?"

"How many times do I have to spell it out for you, Zach?" I stare at his angry, clueless face. "Do I really even have to ask you this question? Again."

I just shake my head at him, look around the room at all the people staring, and push past the crowd who are either staring or giggling and whispering behind their hands. I just make it outside, a cold gust of wind hitting my face, when I feel the tears pricking my eyes so unbearably that a couple tears automatically spill over.

I walk around, not ready to go back to my room, and just let my feet take me wherever they lead and putting my brain on auto-pilot. I make it through the woods, my feet echoing through the darkness of the woods, until I made it to my spot overlooking the city. And that is when the ragged sobs began to break out.

**Jacob's POV:**

Jacob's body shakes uncontrollably, he ignores Quill's warning glance to him and Embry—who is trembling under the power of the change at this point as much as I am. They were both angry enough to tear this guy to shreds.

"You are an asshole," Embry says glaring at Zach. "That is not how you speak to a woman, and you_ never_ put your hands on her."

Zach smiles cockily and takes a step forward, challenging them. "Save it, lover boy. I saw the way you stare after her like a lost puppy. You are pathetic. And Clary always comes back to me because she is mine. Always."

Jacob takes a few steps forward, getting practically chest-to-chest with Zach, and staring him down with a particularly hostile expression. "I know what you do, you idiotic tool-bag. I will tell her, I will tell her and you will lose her forever."

Zach stiffens, confused, and then realizing what Jacob is referring to and hardens his jaw—glaring at him as he flexes his hands to control his anger. "Mind your own business, Black. Whatever Dominic told you is a lie, something he fabricated from his own feelings for Clary."

"Now we both know that that isn't true, and besides, Dominic did not tell me about it because I saw it for myself." Zach is clenching his hands into fists now by this point and a couple big guys are beginning to swarm around them in a circle, Dominic is one among them. Zach just exchanges glances with each of the guys but Jacob doesn't seem to notice because he takes another step towards Zach, getting in his face.

"You should really be careful with the amount of privacy you give to you and your whores that is if you are trying to keep it a secret. And Zach, so far, you are not doing a very good job because I mean what if it was Clary instead of me that saw you pushing that blonde against the wall?"

This seemed to be Zach's breaking point because he grabbed Jacob by the collar of his t-shirt, or at least he attempted to because Jacob swung him around and pressed him into the wall the second Zach's fingers brushed his t-shirt. "Remember how this feels because keep it up, Zach, and you will find yourself in this position _very_ often."

"Fuck you," Zach grumbles against the wall and then Zach's "brothers" seemed to decide this was enough and closed in on them but Jacob made no movement to back down. He shouldered a guy who came up behind him in the stomach while keeping Zach pressed against the wall, crushing his face against the cream wallpaper. Meanwhile, Embry and Quill seemed to be handling a great number of guys on their own.

"Tell you what," Jacob growled into Zach's ear. "I will give you a few days to stop your crap but if you do not tell her, I will." Finishing what he had to say, Jacob motioned Quill and Embry to the door and they made their way into the frigid night. And not one person stopped them.

**Tell me what you think? =]**


	9. Chapter 9 Comfort

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

**Clary's POV:**

Wiping my cheeks of tears with the sleeve of my jacket, I wonder why I even bother because once those tears have been cleared away more seem to replace them twice as fast. I stare numbly at the lights brightening the city as the tears just keep streaming down; I choose to ignore them now.

I hate crying and never usually do, though sometimes it all just seems to build up inside me like a great river ready to burst from its restraints. I want to scream, I want to curse and stomp at yell until my throat is hoarse and my body is too tired to feel anymore.

"You are so stupid, Clary, you just have to accept that no one will ever love you the way novels portray love." The words feel distant, like someone else is saying them but they are in my voice.

The wind picks up a bit and I wrap my arms around myself not because I can feel the cold, which I cannot seem to, but because I need to hold myself together. I feel like I am falling apart.

_God, when did you get so pathetic_? I snort at the thought because I hate pitying myself, I hate the way I feel and the way Zach makes me hate the way I feel.

We have been together for so long but is that really an excuse for not breaking up because I am not so sure anymore. And he will come around the next morning, sober and apologizing, and saying I am his girl and that he loves me and that I love him. And all will go back to normal until the next time, and then the next. And then the next but then isn't it my own fault for taking him back?

Technically it is but then again the indecisive part of me just says that it is not because we do not break up when we have fights, we just have fights. We fight, I leave or he storms out and the next day he tells me how sorry he is but also laying some of the blame on me. And I always accept it because Zach is the only man I have let in.

Every day is the same but I just cannot help it, it is the only thing I have ever known. The only love that I have had because god knows it never came from my family, and Zach was the first to give her emotion that was not cold and selfish. Or else that was what she thought at the time, he was so loving and sweet when they first started dating all those years ago.

But then she got comfortable and he knew it so he started to push for more, more physically and mentally even though he knew what her limits were because she made it clear to him what her limits were. But he just did not seem to care so he kept pressing her further and further into a corner even though he knew she was claustrophobic.

A rustling comes from the darkness and I do not bother to look behind me, call me suicidal or not but I just did not seem care by this point. The careful steps get closer but remain hesitant and I continue staring at the city lights as the aroma of woods and spicy musk fill my senses.

I glance over and the russet wolf stares at me and whines softly, moving closer to me. "Go away," I say numbly and turn away from him to look out at the city. I feel him nudge his nose against my arm and I jerk away, not wanting to be touched when I feel this vulnerable.

The wolf moves back a few steps then move forward as if to comfort me but I rise to my feet and glare at it coldly. "I said go away! I want to be alone," I demand while my body trembles and I hear the wind whisper in my ears.

The russet wolf whines again and takes another step forward lowering its big head and peering up at me. Normally I would find this adorable and hug any animal but anger raged in my veins, white hot and burning me from inside until I let out my pain in fury. "No, go away. I do not want you here," I said with fresh tears in my eyes. "I said I do not want you!"

A look of hurt enters its brown eyes and it backs up away from me as if to leave, I almost regret my words but the anger still remains in me.

I grab handfuls of rocks from the ground and chuck them over the edge of the cliff into the darkness, this last for what seems like an hour or so before everything drains out of me and I sink to my knees and cover my face with my hands.

Deep breathes rack my body and I feel like I cannot breathe, like I am slowly suffocating in this compressing coldness. My heart feels heavy, like it will drop out of my chest and fall into the pit of my stomach—dissolving slowly until there is not heart left.

I bring my legs up to my chest and curl myself into a tight ball, resting my head on my knees as more tears spill over. My body shakes and I realize that I am cold suddenly, that I should probably get up and walk back to my dorm and burrow under the covers of my bed. However, moving seems so impossible right now and it is almost unreal to feel this cold.

I hear nails scraping against the rocks and I see the russet wolf stepping towards me again with hesitance and then it lays down a fair distance away from me, watching me with those kind dark eyes. I look at it, hoping to relay the regret of my words and then curling into myself tighter.

I hear a sliding sound and turn to see the wolf crawling towards me slowly with its head down in submission until it brushes its head against my side. I look into its eyes for a moment, seeing a strange fearful look in the dark depths. As if it was afraid of me and of what I did.

I hold my hand out to it, carefully as to not alarm it.

The wolf sniffs my hand, bumps in gently with its nose and then licks the back of my hand with its big tongue. I laugh at that for some reason, in all the bizarreness of the nights events probably.

The sound of my laughter causes the wolf's ears to perk up at the sound and he moves closer to me in reaction, nuzzling his big russet head into my lap and instantly warming me like a heated blanket. Then he curls the rest of his body around me so I can rest against it like a giant, warm body pillow.

I press my face into his fur and let out a sob into the comforting warmth. "Why was I born to be so jinxed?" I mutter the words soft and quiet into the howling wind to be carried away into the sky so maybe one day someone will receive my question and answer it.

I fall asleep at some point between thinking, crying and listening to the steady heartbeat of the russet wolf.

**Jacob's POV:**

Jacob waited for another hour with Clary as she slept, confusion sparking in him as to why he did not just watch out for her from a distance until she walked back to her dorm. Or why he did not phase back and carry her back to her place the moment she fell asleep.

He phases back and cradles her body against his own once he slips his jeans, t-shirt and shoes on so he is not naked if she does decide to wake up while he hold her for a few more moments.

Her hair sticks to her tear-stained cheeks and her lips are swollen from the constant saltiness of her tears, however, even he has to admit that she looks beautiful.

Bella had never looked so beautiful after crying all night, and he had seen her cry dozens of times. Instantly, Jacob regretted the thought and felt disloyal to Bella even though technically she was engaged to be married to that leech.

He picks Clary up gently as to not wake her but also to shelter her from the cold with his body warmth. He walks to her building, remembering watching her walk back after their first encounter in the woods because he wanted to make sure she got back safely.

However, he was not sure what room she was in but found her room key that had the room number engraved on its face so he carried her up the stair and ignored the stares he received from a few people.

After opening the door to her dorm room with one hand and cradling her body with the other he moved into the room quietly. Thankfully, the place was empty so he did not have to explain himself to her roommate and hopefully he would not have to.

Looking at both the beds he picked the one with a blue bedspread and silky pillows, which was made and tidy, over the bed that was rumpled and bright pink/purple. Sure enough, when he pulled back the covers and set her delicately into the bed after taking off her jacket and shoes carefully, the bed smelled like her. Of vanilla, honey, and some type of herb scent that smelled good.

Jacob covers her with the blankets and observes the way her dark curls fan across the pillow and the way her chest rises and falls gently with each breathe she takes in the light cast by the moon her window illuminates.

"Zach," she mutters quietly and her eyes flick back and forth from under her eyelids in her dream. I watch her as she moves back and forth; sweat beginning to develop on her brow and her lips curving down in a grimace. "Stop, do not let them hurt me."

Jacob shifts from foot to foot, unsure what to do or how to help her so he settles for brushing her hair back from her face but winces slightly when his thumb decides to brush against her cheek. It is as soft as he thought it would be, if not softer.

Clary relaxes under his tentative touch and snuggles into his hand, turning her face so her nose brushes against his wrist and her lips touch the palm of his hand.

"Jacob," she murmurs softly and then smiles into his hand. Jacob's eyes widen and his hand jerks back from cupping her face so quickly that he was sure that he waited for her to open her eyes in shock. However, Clary just stirs slightly and rolls over falling asleep once more.

He backs out of the room, nearly tripping over a shoe and glanced back at Clary with his hand on the doorknob. Jacob turns around and is about to open the door when Clary calls out his name again.

"Jacob," she says almost inaudibly that if he did not have his wolf hearing he probably would have missed it. He freezes, his back stiffening, and turns around one last time sure that she had woken up and was about to demand why he was in her room. But when he looked at her, she was still asleep with a beautiful small smile gracing her mouth.

Jacob was about to open the door when the doorknob began to turn on its own. "Shit," he cursed quietly preparing himself to defend why he is here.

"Oh," a girl with long, wavy blonde hair said in surprise but thankfully did not scream. "Who the heck are you?"

Jacob clears his throat quietly, "I'm Jacob." He begins to exit the room when the girl chases after him in the hallway.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You cannot just say "I'm Jacob" and then leave. What were you doing in my room? Are you a friend of Clary's or something?"

"Yes," he replied wanting this conversation to be over with. "I am a friend of Clary's; I was just carrying her home because she fell asleep. She was upset."

"Oh, of course, I was worried sick all night searching for her when I found out what Zach did. But I am glad you brought her home and that she was not alone, she usually tries to deal with things like this one her own." The girl shifts from foot-to-foot on her heels and then widens her eyes looking at me. "I am Keally, by the way, I am sorry if I was kind of rude earlier."

"It is not a big deal. I, uh, I have to go. Excuse me," Jacob walked down the hallway as Keally called out a rushed goodbye.

**Review! =]**


	10. Chapter 10 Done

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

**Clary's POV:**

I wake up feeling particularly crappy and wondering how exactly I got into my bed because I surely do not remember walking here. I check my phone and find a voicemail and several text messages from Zach.

The memories of last night all come flying back at once—the party, Dom acting weird, Zach being a jerk and embarrassing me in front of everyone, the woods and the russet wolf. However, I just cannot seem to remember coming home, taking off my shoes and jacket, and crawling into bed.

After I jump in the shower, get dressed, and run a comb through my hair I finally get the courage to listen to what Zach has to say.

I call my voicemail and hear Zach's voice instantly, "Hey Clare-bear, I know you are probably made at me because Dom and the guys say that I was an ass to you last night. But honestly, I do not remember anything so I must have had too much to drink last night and I had a bad day yesterday so I probably took it out on you. I am sorry, babe. I hope you forgive me, and know that you will always be my girl, and that I am sorry how lame I sound right now. Just…please, Clare-bear. I love you. And I—"

I hang up, and I thinking about what to say to him when I see him when Keally walks in with a paper bag in one hand and a coffee in the other. "Okay I know you do not like coffee but I figured we could make you your tea thingy."

"Chamomile?" I ask amused but still a little distracted.

"Right, like I said the tea thingy. And I got us some delicious nuts of dough," she announces with a smile.

"And by that of course you mean doughnuts," I tease her.

"Yeah, yeah." She grabs plates from the kitchen and hopes on my bed after putting tea in the microwave for me. "So let us gorge ourselves." She rubs her hands together then dives into the paper bag filled with doughnuts.

I pick at the one she sets in front of me, one with chocolate icing and sprinkles—my favorite. "Keally…"

"Mhh?" she grunts chewing on her glazed doughnut and looking at me.

"How did I get home last night, exactly? Do you know?" Keally's eyebrows raise up high in surprise and then she smiles mischievously. "Keal, do not mess with me. For real, I am not really in the mood."

"A hunk of a man carried you home, I believe." She grins and bounces off the bed to fetch my tea that just announced that it was done.

"A hunk…of a…man?" I say the words slowly, as if it would help process their meaning. "Nope, I got nothing. Did you see this hunk of a man you speak of?"

"Oh, yes I did." She laughed and nudged me in the shoulder. "Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome nearly scared the crap out of me when I came last night."

"Wait, how did he get in the room?" I scrunch my face up trying to remember. "Did he tell you his name? Please tell me you asked who he was when you found him in the room when I was apparently unconscious."

"Mhmm," Keally said picking out another doughnut. "How many calories do you think are in a doughnut?"

"A lot," I reply flustered. "Now quit toying with me Keal, what was his name?"

"Jacob."

"Jacob?" I say flabbergasted. "That cannot be right. What did he look like?"

"I told you tall, dark and handsome."

"I am talking real descriptions here woman like ethnicity, skin color, eye color, how tall, build, hair color."

"Jeez, way to make it seem like a criminal interrogation Clary." She picked at her doughnut then smiled playfully and rolled her eyes at my expression. "Tan, he is probably like Native American or something. Um, eye color; I would say brown or black. No definitely brown, like drown in the depths of dark pools brown. He was tall, like 6'6" or something, and muscular. God, I would want him to carry me any day and anywhere with that body. And short, cropped black hair that was that sexy messy look that most guys try for with gel but I am pretty sure his was natural."

I sigh, and a blush enters my cheeks. "It is natural."

"So you _do_ know him!" Keally sighs dreamly. "Are you two you know, _getting to know each other_?" She wiggles her eyebrows up and down suggestively and I hit her with my pillow, laughing.

"No," I say laughing. "I am with Zach, you know that."

There is a moment of silence and she stares at me seriously. "You are going to go back to him aren't you?"

"There is no going back, Keally; we never broke up in the first place."

"You were crying your eyes out last night, I can tell by the stains on your cheeks and Jacob said you were upset. Why do you keep doing this to yourself?"

"Keally, he was drunk last night…he didn't mean what he said."

"Oh," Keally says getting up from her spot on the bed and pacing the floor. "And what about what he did? Jesus, Clary, I heard he put his hands on you in front of everyone last night and then called you a prude for pulling away."

"I love him Keally, we have been together—"I begin but Keally glares and interrupts me.

"Three years, I know, but that does not give him the right to walk all over you whenever he feels like it," she finishes bitterly.

"He does not," I say crossly. "He loves me."

"Yeah, well, he has a shitty way of showing it. How many times have you come home pissed off by something he did, over some fight you guys had? Let alone the fact that he made you cry last night," Keally places her hands in her hair frustrated. "He made you freaking _cry_ last night, Clary."

"I am fine, Keally."

"That is great right now sweetie but what about when he pushes you for sex again and you say no, and then he blows a gasket. Again," she demands slapping her palm against her dresser and waiting for me to give her an answer. "Because I guarantee it is going to happen again, unless you are going to give in even though you do not want to. Because you think that he is going to leave if you do not."

"I would never do that," I say defensively. "But what do you want me to do, Keally?"

"Not give him another chance," Keally says immediately. "Walk away before he breaks your heart beyond repair."

"It is not that easy," I say shaking my head.

"Why the hell not?" Keally demands.

"Because I love him!" I put my head in my hands in frustration.

"Then go ahead and let him break your heart but do not come crying to me when he destroys the last bit of dignity he left in you," she says with a completely serious face.

"Why are you doing this?" I ask weakly, looking at my hands.

"Because I wish you could see how much he does not deserve you, Clary. I want to make you realize that you are worth something, that you are special but with him you cannot see that." And then she grabs her bag and walks out, slamming the door behind her.

Then she opens the door back up, wide, and I see a wide-eyed Jacob standing in the doorway with Quill. "And here is Mr. Tall-Dark-And-Handsome for you! But have fun with that douchebag," she yells at me, pushes the boys into the room, and slams the door. I hear her stomping down the hallway.

I stare at my hands, embarrassment flaming in my cheeks as Keally's words echo in my head.

"Well, um, that was certainly something." Quill tries to break the tension in the room but neither Jacob nor I laugh. "I must be Mr. Tall-Dark-And-Handsome, obviously."

"This seems like a bad time," Jacob begins awkwardly. "Maybe we should come back later."

"No," I say instantly. I stand and look at both of them and force a smile. "Everything is fine; we just had a little disagreement. Are you guys alright?"

"Yeah, we are fine we just wanted to come by and check up on you because of last night…" Quill trailed off and looked at Jacob who just looked down at the floor and shrugged, Quill rolled his eyes and looked at me. "Zach was a real asshole, or I guess I should say is a real asshole."

"He was drunk," I say in exasperation. I did not want to have this conversation again, let alone with these two men that I barely knew. "I am about to discuss everything with him now." I get up from my bed and find the pair of them just staring at me.

"What?" I demand.

"You're going back to him," Jacob says slowly as if this never occurred to him. "Aren't you?"

"I don't know yet," I say quietly. "I am talking everything over with him today, he called and apologized—"

"And that makes everything alright?" Jacob asks with an incredulous expression on his face.

"Excuse me?" I look at him, frowning. I cross my arms across my chest in defense, and then settle for placing them on my hips and staring up at him.

"You think that because he is going to apologize to you, that that makes everything okay? That he won't hurt you another time? I saw him treat you like dirt last night, and I barely know you but something tells me that that was not the first time he has hurt you." Jacob begins to tremble and Quill puts a hand on his arm, worriedly.

"You do not know what you are talking about," I say to him and watch him shake his head at me. "You don't, how can you just throw away three years of a relationship? I love him, he loves me. We have our differences but—"

"But he treats you like you are an object," Jacob says in outrage. "You deserve better than that."

"Oh really, please enlighten me because there are just _so_ many guys that are lined up wanting to be with me. I mean I hardly know what to do with myself," I say sarcastically.

"So you admit that you are settling?" He says smugly.

"I am not admitting anything," I say appalled by his flippant attitude. "I have been with Zach for so long—"

"You know, you keep saying that but three years to you obviously does not mean the same thing to him." Jacob glares at me and folds his arms across his chest while Quill just looks back and forth from Jacob to me.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I walk towards him and stare at him defiantly.

"You tell me," Jacob replies coldly. "You seem to know Zach _so_ fucking well. Or are you just too much of a pain in the ass to notice."

"Jacob," Quill warns in a low voice.

"I do know Zachary, a heck of a lot more than I know you Jacob Black. Who goes around walking in the woods in the middle of the night to help someone they clearly do not like?"

He stares at her like she has grown an extra head, "I do not know you, you do not know me but I know something about your _precious_ Zachary that you clearly are too blind to see."

"Is that right? Please do tell me oh great secretive one," I say angrily and get into his face until I am chest-to-chest with him, or at least I try to since my 5'7" clearly does not compare much to his 6'7".

He grabs my arms and shakes me, "When are you going to wake up and realize that he is not as perfect as you think and that his excuses are crap?"

"And how do _you _know that, Black?" I demand, sick and tired of dancing around in circles with the discussion of Zach.

"Because I saw him cheating on you with my own two eyes," Jacob exclamations in aggravation and seemed like he was about to continue yelling at me, until he saw the look on my face.

His hands still held my arms, only not as tightly as they once were. He seemed to realize what he had revealed and looked down at me with worry entering his brown eyes. "Clary, I did not mean to tell you like—"

"Will you please let me go, Jacob?" My voice sounds pathetic, almost as pathetic as my defense for Zach's excuses must have sounded to Jacob and anyone else who knew. I was just a stupid, foolish girl.

He lets me go immediately and I walk to the door, grabbing my jacket and keys on the way out, and then I remember that I forgot to thank Jacob for taking me home last night.

"Jacob," I say weakly. "I—um, thank you for taking me home last night. I really appreciate it." I turn my heel and rush out the door calling out that the door will lock automatically whenever they decide to leave.

And I walk to Zach's for the first time without telling him that I am coming over, unsure what I am to expect.

After walking up the stairs to the frat house's front door, I do not bother knocking and just walk in and walk up to Zach's room. Dom sees me passing on the staircase and does a double-take, "Clary, I did not know you were coming over." He tries to stop me from continuing on but I push past him determinedly. "Clary, please, do not go see him just yet."

I ignore him and continue on until I make it to the door to Zach's room, I take a deep breath before turning the knob and pushing it open. The scene I see turns the blood in my veins cold.

Zach is on top of a blonde girl I remember from last night's party, but they both did not seem to hear me open the door and walk in. His bare back and top of his butt is revealed while the rest is moving from beneath a thin sheet as he grunts and the woman moans as he kisses, sucks, and nips her neck roughly. I feel bile rise up in my throat as I watch the man I thought was faithful and loved me.

I slam the door shut and place my hands on my hips as they jump apart, startled.

"Dominic, I told you to mind your own damn business." Zach's voice growls and he turns to look at me, clearly noticing that I am not Dom. "Clary!" he cries out and pushes the girl away from him.

"Save it. I really can tell how sorry you are; you showed me everything all too clearly." I glare at him and then look at the girl who is now hiding beneath the sheet. "Have fun with her, Zach. And, by the way, in case you are wondering I am breaking up with you right now. Stay the hell away from me."

I turned and fled out of the room, slamming the door on his plea for me to wait and let him explain. I shake my head in disgust and run out the front door, as the anger pulsed within me.

I ran to my spot overlooking the city without a second thought.

**Review! Please? =]**


	11. Chapter 11 Jak

**I do not own _Twilight!_**

**Thank you to all the reviews =] They made me happy to know someone likes the story. CandisDrake: Thank you so much for your praise, I am so glad to hear you like my writing style! Stupidstef666: Thank you so much for reviewing!**

**Clary's POV:**

I stare over the edge of the cliff lying on my stomach, fear jumping into my chest as I stare down at the mind-boggling drop below me. The wind whips my hair back and forth but the sun shines through the cloudy sky and its rays warm me from the cold.

I hear a sound behind me and turn around, smiling, expecting to see the russet wolf but it is only a squirrel crawling up a tree. Disappointment hits me like a large weight and I shake my head and turn back to the cliff-side, however, I let out a small scream when I see the wolf sitting in front of me.

"God, you scared the crap out of me." He pants happily as if laughing at me with his tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth, while I place a hand over my rapid heartbeat and glare at him.

He seems to understand my troubled expression and lies on the ground, resting his giant head on his paws and looking at me with sad puppy-dog eyes. I sigh and lay on my stomach again, staring at the city that moves around with activity on a bright Sunday afternoon.

"I ended with him," I say suddenly and see the russet wolf raise its head up as if in surprise. "I walked in on him having sex with some other girl. Can you believe that?"

The wolf whined softly, as if he understood every word I had said. I shake my head, slowly. "I know, I am so stupid, I thought we were going to be together for—well— like a _long_ time." I shake my head again. "Jacob was right to say that I was blinded by all the years we have been together because our relationship did not mean as much to Zach as it did to me."

I rolled onto my back and looked up at the sky, folding my hands behind the back of my neck. "You know it is strange, I feel almost free as if a crushing weight has been lifted off my chest. I use to sit and doodle _Mrs. Zachary Steale_ into all my notebooks like a lovesick little girl when I was in high school. How dumb is that? And now I think about all the times he was a jerk and how much of an idiot I must have seemed for always going back to him."

I hear the wolf moving and then I feel heavy warmth on my belly and glace down to see him resting his head there. Carefully, I brush my hand against its fur and look into its dark eyes.

"Jak," I whisper. The wolf's eyes seem to dilate at my words with its whole body stiffening, waiting. "I think I will call you Jak because your eyes…" I trail off; blushing even though I know the wolf would not understand my embarrassment. "They are beautiful and they remind me of someone I barely know but…"

I bite my lip and look at the darkening sky. The russet wolf, I mean Jak, let out a sigh that quakes my whole body but he seems to relax again.

I think about all of it for a moment before continuing. "He would try and push my buttons all the time, I would get so mad but then always forgive him. Even when he tried to push me for sex, even though he knew how I felt about it.

Jak was silent for a moment, as if processing all of what I said, and then he let out a low growl from the back of his throat that rumbled my stomach. "Hey, it is okay. I never let him push me too far," I say quietly. I run my fingers in the space between his ears and scratch softly, he closes his eyes in contentment.

After a few minutes he lifts his big head and licks the side of my face, I grimace then smile at him while wiping from my cheek to my temple. "That was disgusting, Jak. Yuck."

A thunder rumbles in the distance and I see dark clouds rolling in above us, before I know it rain begins to fall. I hold out my hand to catch some of the droplets but do not move because I am oddly not chilled by the rains frigid wetness that is drenching me through.

I peer down at Jak and he looks back at me before raising his head off my body, which chills my entire body instantly. His nose nudges my side but I make no point of moving. His nose nudges my side again and he lets out a soft whine.

"Alright," I say laughing at his persistence. I get up and walk into the woods not expecting him to disappear off into the woods like he always does but instead he walks with me. I smile up at him.

I make it to the break where the road meets the woods and I glance back one more time, but the russet wolf is nowhere to be seen, before running through the rain towards my dorm while the rain pours down.

**Jacob's POV:**

Jacob phases back as soon as Clary steps onto the road, staring after her as he hides in the mask of thick trees and bushes so he is not seen.

Placing his hand on the branch above his head, Jacob thinks about the feel of her heartbeat pulsing in her belly as he breathed her in while he was in wolf form. How he waited for her to start to cry but the tears never fell from her eyes, and from the looks of her cheeks it did not seem like she had been crying earlier.

How her sad eyes lit up when she laughed when he licked the side of her face, tasting her smooth, creamy skin. And thinking about how just hearing her speak, just looking at her and listening, caused his heart to race just a little faster.

But then there was always the pull to stay away from her, to ignore the imprint now that she had broken the shackles that bound her to Zach for all those years. I still loved Bella, and Clary—although very beautiful—she was not his Bella. But maybe if she could distract him enough, he could forget all about Bella and move on.

Maybe this is what it took to begin healing…


	12. Chapter 12 Dreams and SPD's

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

**Clary's POV:**

After a long talk with Keally over a second round of doughnuts and hot beverages, tea for me and coffee for Keally, I took a shower and crawled into bed without so much as a tear to run down my face.

"Clary," Keally said suddenly staring at me worriedly from her bed. "You know it is okay to cry, you are only human and you must be hurting."

"No," I whisper even though a part of me is flustered by the fact that all the emotion is not pouring out of me in ragged sobs like last night. "No, I am fine."

"Are you sure?" She asks gently, I think she is still guilty over freaking out on me earlier even though I knew it was only because she did not want to see me get hurt and that she cared about me.

"Ab-so-lute-ly," I reply with a forced smile. "Now goodnight, Keal."

I close my eyes and fall asleep.

_I am standing in an unfamiliar dark forest and jumping at every slight sound, then I begin running again when the music begins._

_**Everybody's waiting.**_

_**Everybody's watching.**_

_**Keep your eyes open.**_

_My hear is pounding and I hear the low growls echoing in the darkness, knowing that there is more than one thing hiding in the shadows of the trees. _

_**Every lesson forms a new scar, they never thought you would make it this far…**_

_**But turn around.**_

_I turn around and all around me is massive wolves circling and closing in on me, their silver eyes glowing in the night like white fire. A black wolf moves towards me with its teeth bared and dripping with saliva, snapping its teeth at me and licking its lips._

_**Oh, they surrounded you, it is a showdown.**_

_**And nobody comes to save you now.**_

_I spin around, trying to search for some weapon to fend the beasts off but fearing all efforts would be useless. The black wolf tackles me and I am pinned to the cold ground as he glowers down at me with those fierce, snapping jaws that are so near to my shoulder._

_**But you got something they don't, yeah, you got something they don't.**_

_I hear a sound crashing through the trees and turn my head to see the russet wolf burst into view and begins attacking another wolf. Then pain explodes in my left shoulder and I cry out as I punch the black wolf in the face, but that seems to only make him bite down harder._

_**You just got to keep your eyes open.**_

"_Jak," I say through gritted teeth, through all the pain as I keep trying to get the black wolf off of me. I try to gouge its silver demon eyes out of their sockets but the wolf just turns its head a little to the side and another bout of pain shoots through me, so painfully that I cannot help but let out a scream as I feel the blood stream down my arm and neck. The slick liquid soaks through my clothes, bathing me in my own blood._

_**Keep your feet ready.**_

_**Heartbeat steady.**_

_**Keep your eyes open.**_

"_Jacob!" I scream as it bites down harder while I still weakly punch it, this time in the nose which seems to cause its eyes to blaze with fire. I do not know why I call out Jacob's name but the russet wolf turns and looks at me suddenly, growls low, and pounces on the black wolf._

_**Keep you aim locked.**_

_The two fight—biting and clawing at one another until my russet wolf gets tossed aside and drops down right in front of me, whining softly. _

_**The night grows dark.**_

_I reach out a hand to touch Jak's fur gently but my hand freezes in front of me because I am covered in blood and my head is beginning to spin. My vision begins to haze and I free-fall into the darkness._

_**Keep your eyes open.**_

I wake up covered in sweat and panting, trembling as I smooth my fingers over my left shoulder and arm. Placing my head in my hands I resist the urge to groan, and finally get up to wash the sweat from my face and neck.

I change my shirt that is soaked in cold sweat and then curl back up in bed, staring at the ceiling as my shoulder pulses even though I know nothing is there. I count the stars and name the planets that glow on our ceiling, until at some point I finally fall asleep and fall into a dreamless sleep.

I wake up in the morning, get dressed and follow the motions while Keally stays quiet and gives me a doughnut before going to her class, I think she thinks I am finally feeling the effects of my breakup finally.

But she doesn't know that it is the vision on the black wolf's shining silver eyes glaring at me while I am bleeding and crying that keeps me quiet and thinking.

"Stupid Taylor Swift," I mumble on my way to my first class—biology. I sit at our usual table, rolling my eyes once I realize I just used Embry, Quill and Jacob in a familiar context, and then I opened the novel that I had with me.

"You are done with that other book, _already?"_ I read the rest of the sentence I am on and then glance up at him.

"Uh, yeah." I say lamely and stare up at him. "Why do you sound like it is a crime against humanity or something?"

"I didn't mean it to sound that way," Embry says with wide-eyes searching mine as if he might have hurt me some way by what he said. "I mean reading, it's…fun. I guess."

I laugh; shaking my head I close my book and set it on the table. "Why do I feel like you have only cracked a book only when forced to, if you have at all?" I smile as he gets a playful, offended expression on his face. "Not that I am questioning your wit Embry, which I am sure is astounding."

"Actually, it's not." Quill smiles jokingly at Embry and then looks at Jacob, and then turns back to me. "It's me that is full of wittiness. Neither of them got a crack of brilliance in them, it is like the cars on but no one's behind the wheel you know what I mean?"

I look at each of them and begin laughing softly. Embry looks at me, rolls his eyes and then looks back at Quill. "Oh, you've got wit alright. Dimwit," he says shaking his head and cutting a glance to Jacob who gives a small smile and nods his head in agreement—though I suspect his mind was elsewhere.

Quill scoffs at Embry and smacks his palms on the table, which causes the professor to shoot him a look that clearly reads _calm down_, but Quill reaches across the table and gives Embry a noogie. The professor nearly drops the chalk he was starting to write with and stares at them with an incredulous expression.

"Guys, cool it. You are going to get us kicked out," Jacob says and surprisingly the two stop messing around immediately.

"Nice work, dad." I smirk at Jacob and laugh at the surprised expression he gives me in return. And then he laughs and the sound makes my heart flutter, I stare at him silently and for a moment our eyes just lock. And then the moment is ruined.

"Nice party the other night, don't you think Clary?" A bitchy sorority girl—not that I am dissing on sorority's or anything—calls out to me while walking by with her friend that I remember laughing at me from behind her hand at the party.

I just stare after her and shake my head, why could I never think of something good to say back at times like this?

"Screw her, Clary. She is just a piece of trash," Embry says to me. Concern for me written clearly in his dark eyes, and I just smile back at him.

"Yeah," Quill quips in. "She'll probably get SPD's or something."

We all just stare at him for a moment and then I look from Jacob to Embry who shrug their shoulders, shake their heads, and roll their eyes. "Quill," I begin slowly. "Do you mean STD's?"

"No, SPD's, but I can see where you are getting confused. It is the middle abbreviation you are mixing up, its P as in pony not T." He smiles widely at me and I feel the suspicious sense that he is definitely messing with me.

"Quill, what exactly does SPD stand for in that abbreviation?"

"Why, Clary, I am so glad you asked SPD stands for Super Penis Disease." My eyes widen as it all clicks into place and he starts busting out laughing. Meanwhile, Embry and Jacob just shake their heads and mumble something that distinctly sounded like "idiot".

I open my mouth to comment but the professor begins calling order to the class and I fall silent and without meaning to my eyes slide over to Jacob, who is listening to the professor until he feels the weight of my stare.

His brown eyes stare into mine, I feel like I fall into a spell, and the breath seems to escape my lungs until Embry pokes me in the side. I break the contact, glance at Embry with a smile, and then turn back to listen to the lecture while my heart pounds in my chest. As if it is demanding its own freedom.

**Review! Please? =]**


	13. Chapter 13 Above Crap

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

**A special thank you to CandisDrake and Stupidste666 for your lovely reviews, in addition to all of you that chose the story as one of your favorites! Thank you.**

**Enjoy=]**

**Clary's POV:**

After class I walk to the dining hall to get lunch before my next class and I hear Embry calling after me with Jacob and Quill tailing behind him.

"Hey," he says with a goofy smile. "Mind if we join you?"

I shake my head, smiling. "Nope. Not at all."

"Great," he says beaming at me.

We get our food and sit at a table, while I ignore the various glares from the girls who eye Embry, Jacob and Quill—who, of course, are oblivious to the fact that they are being ogled at.

"Soo," Quill breaks out through a mouthful of food. "How have you been Clary, dear, it feels like it has been ages."

"Quill…we just saw each other in class," I smirk at him. "Literally, it has not even been five minutes yet."

He smiles at me through the mouthful and mumbles something after stuffing a whole muffin in his mouth. I scoff and shake my head. "That is disgusting," I say and then take a bite out of my cheeseburger.

"It really kind of is Quill," Embry comments, wincing as Quill stares at him before stuffing another muffin in his mouth and smiling at Embry.

"So this is what you left me for?" an all too familiar voice chimes out and, as if on cue, all three boys tense. Well, except for Quill, I am not sure he even knows how to be tense.

"Zachary," I say civilly, glancing at him carefully before taking a sip of my water and look at Embry, Quill, and—lastly—Jacob. Jacob who stares at me with gentle brown eyes and then turns to Zach with a fixed glare, which causes a look of epiphany to appear on Zach's face.

"It was _you_," Zach growls at Jacob. "You told her! Not Dominic."

Jacob just smirks at him and crosses his arms in front of his broad chest, the sleeves of his black t-shirt distractingly hugging his biceps and emphasizing the defined crease in his chest muscles. Zach steps forward, practically growling through gritted teeth and clenching his fists at his sides.

"I am _not_ stupid Zachary," I announce coldly to him and stand up slowly. "I would have found out eventually anyways and if you would have given a crap you would not have hopped into bed with that harlot in the first place."

"Clary, it was an accident I—"

I laugh at him, bitterness obvious in my tone, shutting him up instantly. "You did _not _just really say that did you? God, I hope I heard you wrong because what I saw was clearly not an accident. Nor do I believe it was the first time it ever happened."

His blue eyes widen and he begins stuttering out excuses. "It was an accident. I love you and you love me, you know that."

I glare at him, my heart aching suddenly at his proclamation of love and how fake it all seems now. "An accident happens when you step on someone's foot, or when you knock over a glass of water on someone's favorite sweater. Want to knock what is not an accident?" I ask him angrily for a moment and then plunge forward with my answer.

"What is _not_ a freaking accident, Zach, is when you "fall" into bed with someone. Do you really expect me to believe that you fell and _accidently_ had sex with her? What did you both _accidently_ "fall" out of your clothes too?"

"Clary—"he begins again but I shake my head and step closer to him so I stare up at him through all my hurt and anger.

"Save it. Because honestly Zach, I do not want to hear it and no one force you to do a damn thing with her and god only knows who else."

"Please Clare-bear," he says trying to wield me in with a smile and holding his arms out as if he meant to embrace me. I step forward, not to accept his hug but for something else entirely.

"I," I say with emphasis and poke him in the chest with my pointer finger. "Am _not_ your damn Clare-bear."

Zach just stares at me silently, while something dangerous sparks in his darkened blue eyes. "You are making a huge mistake," he warns me.

"No," I say shaking my head and smiling sadly. "No I am not because staying with you…now that would be a mistake."

He lets out an animalistic growl from deep within his throat and I take a step back, alarmed. He steps forward and grips my arm, painfully tight. "You are mine, Clary."

"No," I reply shaking my head carefully. "I am not. Not anymore, Zach. And I never will be again." His grip tightens and I gasp as my bones feel like they are grinding against each other, I grit my teeth and lock eyes with him.

"Let go of me," I hiss at him through clenched teeth. And I hear low growling and movement behind me, I turn to see Embry and Jacob coming on either side of me—both glaring at Zach and trembling in anger.

"That's enough," I say firmly and wrestle my wrist out of his grip while pain tingles on my skin. He seems to realize what he did and instantly let's go of me, immediately, while his eyes soften.

"Clary, I—"he pleads moving towards me again with his hands outstretched, like he meant to cup my face between his hands, but before I can respond Embry jumps forward. His body separates Zach and I in a thick, warm wall of flesh and I frown because I like to think that I can protect myself, and that I can fight my own battles.

"I think you had better leave now, Zach." Embry locks eyes with him, as if challenging him to object.

"Move out of the way," Zach snarls and any gentleness that had once been his eyes when he looked at before faded instantly. The look that screamed danger served as a replacement and I get in between the two of them before we have a fight escalate in the dining hall.

Pushing the two apart with one hand on each of their chests, my eyes widen at the heat radiating off of the both of them. "Look hot-heads, we are _not _getting into a fight in the dining hall. Or any other place, alright? Now—"

"All the more reason for you to leave, Zach," Embry says with a smirky-grin which causes a rumbling to rise in Zach's chest. Zach jumps forward so quickly towards Embry that I fall backwards and catch myself between two tables but smack my head on the wall, hard.

Jacob jumps down and caresses my head in his hands, which are trembling noticeably. "Are you okay?" he asks me but looks at Embry and Zach angrily, who are now pushing each other back and forth roughly in attempt to intimidate one another.

I nod but a headache has drilled itself deep in my right temple, I rise and stomp over to the two idiots and ignore the call of Jacob behind me.

"Stop it, you idiots!" I yell, pushing them both. "Why are you even fighting? Because it is not over me, though I expect that is what you have deluded yourselves into thinking. No, it is simply a case of ego and whose is bigger. And that is just stupid, Zachary, I am not a prize that you can win by battling it out with one of my friends."

The two stare at me, stunned. I shake my head, grab my bag, and stomp over to the door blushing and trying to ignore all the stares that I am receiving. The gossipy giggling behind the cover of hands, the sympathetic looks cast my way, the smirks from frat brothers, and people who are just curious.

The cold air smacks my face and I sigh, letting my anger and embarrassment drain from me. Then I hear someone running up behind me and close my eyes, praying it just a afternoon runner and not someone I know.

"Clary," a familiar voice calls that causes my heart to hurdle. I turn around and look at Jacob, raising an eyebrow at him and waiting for him to continue. However, he just remains silent and shuffles his feet around. Was he…nervous about something? Huh.

"What is it Jacob? I kind of just wanted to go for a walk to get away from all that sooo…" I trail off lamely because I do not want to sound rude.

"Do you mind if I walk with you?" Jacob asks carefully, glancing up at me hesitantly from behind his lashes.

I send him a small smile, not wanting to make him feel as weird or awkward as I do. "Sure. But, just to warn you, you are going to have to keep up with me."

He stares at me, contemplating if I am being serious or not and opens his mouth to say something but then snaps it shut. He nods head in response.

"I am kidding Jacob," I laugh but then consider the walk through the woods. "Well, I sort of am."

Jacob gives me a small smile that doesn't fully reach his eyes and gestures with his hand for me to continue on walking. We walk in silence for a long while until we reach the entrance to the woods and I see Jacob stiffen beside me, but when I throw him a questioning glance he just shakes his head and gestures for me to continue leading again.

The path that I usually take is covered with leaves and a couple fallen branches but I step carefully and over each obstacle so I do not fall on my butt, like I have done on many occasions, in front of Jacob.

"So," I say in attempt to break the silence but then feel a blush rise to my cheeks when he looks at me curiously, analyzing me with his dark eyes.

"So," he repeats with the corners of his lips turning upward and he stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He is lacking a jacket again, of course.

"What is it with you guys and the rebellion against wearing real clothes?" I blurt out and then realize that I actually said that allowed instead of thinking it in my head.

Jacob just starts laughing like I have just told him the funniest joke he has ever heard. However, he does not answer my question.

"What? Don't you ever get cold?" My voice squeaks out the question, so embarrassing that I cannot help but blush again and resist the urge to wince.

"Not really," Jacob replies simply, shrugging his shoulders and smiling.

"Well I do," I mumble and the shake my head at him. "But you really never do? _Never_?"

"I used to when I was young but not so much anymore," he says and something about his tone tells me there is more to it than that but I just sigh and tie the belt of my jacket tighter around myself as a chilling breeze kicks up. One that flips my hair about until it smacks me in the face and I cannot see. It is one that causes the trees to shiver and shake their branches.

Jacob glances at me, frowning, but even frowning looks good on his handsome face. I shake my head at the thought and focus on walking to my spot.

"So you get cold a lot?" There is teasing in his voice, an implication that he already knows the answer to what he asked.

"Yes," I mumble pushing aside a tree branch that hangs down and covers the pathway. "I am always cold. My friend Keally always makes fun of me because I wear a jacket even in the summer sometimes, she says I am like a vampire or something."

I laugh—thinking about Keally—but then I notice Jacob has tensed beside me, staring at me with a twisted look of disgust on his face.

"What?" I ask him, curiously.

"You could never be a vampire," Jacob says and spits out the word vampire like it is a vile word.

I cock my head and smile slyly at him. "You do know vampires are not real, right?"

He glances at me anxiously and then all at once relaxes his shoulders and grins. "Of course," Jacob replies easily but—again—his tone leads me to suspect more.

"Good. Besides I told Keally I am more like a reptile and I need to get my heat from other sources, like the sun and lots and lots of layers." I smile at him and he seems to have fully relaxed. "Also, werewolves were always more my favorite than vampire stories."

Jacob jerks his attention to me, instantly, and begins beaming in a smirky-smile. "Is that so?"

"Ab-so-lute-ly," I reply and stop suddenly. "And we are here by the way."

Jacob looks closer and sees the overview of the cliff and the city below before walking over to the edge and grinning. "This is great," he says grinning. "Do you come up here a lot?" However, something about his tone—again—leads me to believe he already know the answer.

"Yeah," I answer with a smile. I sit down a safe distance from the edge so I do not see the horrible fall below me.

"Hey," Jacob calls and gestures for me to come over beside him. "Come over here, the view is amazing from this angle. You can see everything."

"No thanks," I call to him over the blowing wind. "I am good over here, nice and safe."

Jacob stares at me for a long moment and then grins, the smile lighting up his face and reaching his eyes so they lighten to a milk chocolate color. "Are you afraid, Clary Knight?"

"Oh, Jacob Black, I am certain that I am terrified." I tease back but something about the way he is looking at me makes my heart pound frantically.

Jacob laughs at my comment and walks over to where I am sitting, perched on a rock far away from the edge. He sits next to me on the large rock and balances his arms on his knees, and I swallow as I watch the sleeves of his t-shirt strain against his flexing biceps. Oh goodness…

I force myself to look away and peer at the city below us in an effort to clear my head so I do not do something stupid that will likely embarrass me, like trace the curve of his defined chest with my fingertips until I touch the warm skin revealed at his neck.

I shake my head, covering my face in my hands, and then running my fingers through my hair in slight frustration.

"Are you alright, Clary?" Concern is laced in his words and I peer up at him while holding my palms on the sides of my head. I close my eyes, considering my answer.

"Yeah," I finally respond, breathlessly, because when I open my eyes again to look up at him he is so close that I can smell the scent of him—a mixture of spice and forest.

"Are you sure?" His brown eyes search mine and I try to push down the blush that is sure to be surfacing on my cheeks, however, from the heat on my face I believe I am unsuccessful in the effort.

"Yep," I say softly. A strand of hair slips from my hands restrains, auburn and rebellious in the sunlight. Jacob's hand reaches out and brushes it behind my ear and my hands drop from either side of my temple as the tingling sensation zips through me from his electric touch. My mouth parts as I stare at him, a mere breath apart by this point.

Kiss me, kiss me…kiss me. My brain repeats the sentiment over and over, mimicking the rhythm of my beating heart.

And then he blinks and his eyes analyze what he is doing, he frowns and pulls back from me as his shoulders tense up and he looks at the woods behind us.

Disappointment curls in my stomach and I jump to my feet to try and free myself of this embarrassment.

"I should go," I say looking anywhere but his eyes as the heat rise up on my face. "I um…forgot that I have to do something for Keally." I walk away before he has the chance to respond, and hear him call out my name from a distance when I begin to run.

Stupid, stupid, stupid…I chant the word over and over to meet the sound of my footsteps hitting the ground as I run. "God, Clary, of course he would not want to kiss you. He could have any other girl," I chastise myself quietly.

I make it out of the forest in record time, and then remember I actually did have an errand to run for Keally so I finger her car keys in the pocket of my jacket and jog to the parking lot where her Volkswagen bug sits.

After finding her car, unlocking it, and climbing in I lightly hit my head against the steering wheel as a last second punishment for my stupidity before I begin driving to the store for groceries.

I make it down the winding road, which is outlined in woods on either side before I finally break the silence and turn on Keally's ipod that she has hooked up to the radio. I shuffle randomly through various songs, while staring at the road ahead until I notice a dark flash hit the back of the car.

I glance behind me, alarmed, and try to search for the source of the noise before I try to pull over. I squint at the dark figure running into the woods behind me, and then I turn back to look at the road. My eyes widen and I slam on the brakes, tires screeching for me to stop, but it is too late and I clip the animal with the front of the car.

I hear a slight thunk and I open my eyes to see a heap of russet fur in front of me. "Oh shit, I mean crap. No," I say cringing. "I definitely mean shit because this is clearly way above crap worthy."

I jump out of the car, praying the animal is not what I think it is, and then crying out when it is. "Jak," I gasp horrified as I fall to my knees beside the motionless wolf.

**Oh no, what will happen now? Review! =] Please?**


	14. Chapter 14 Hang on

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

**A special thank you to **_**CandisDrake for reviewing! **_

**Enjoy =]**

**Clary's POV:**

You would never think that you would have to consider how heavy a wolf that you see in the woods is, well, at least I didn't. The answer though…damn heavy.

It took me at least fifteen to twenty minutes to get Jak into the back of Keally's Volkswagen, good thing the cars a convertible or else I do not know what I would have done. After putting to top back up, I start driving and dial Keally's number with a pounding heart.

"Pick up, pick up…pick up Keally," I mumble as the line continues ringing.

"Keally Really's line, how may I help you?" Keally asks and begins giggling. "What's up, Clary?"

"Keally…" I begin and trail off, not knowing where to begin to explain to her what happened.

"Oh my god, I know that tone, what is wrong? Did something happen with Zach?" Her voice asks anxiously, growing more in volume.

"No," I say but then consider the truth of the answer. "Well kind of but that is not really the problem right now. I kind of…hit something." I wince and look back at Jak in the review mirror, waiting for Keally's reaction.

"Oh my god, did you hit a deer? Bambi!" She cries out the car's name, which is kind of ironic considering her statement on whether I hit a deer or not.

"No," I say and glance back at Jak again—who still is as motionless as when I hauled him into the car. "It was not a deer and Bambi is alright, she just has a little dent in the front fender but I can fix that."

"Do not worry about that, Clary. Holy crap, are you alright? You didn't get hurt or anything did you?"

"No…" I reply, biting my lip.

"Good," she says and then pauses for a moment. "Wait, why do I have the feeling there is more to this story?"

"Keally," I breathe out. "You are going to be a veterinarian sooo are you free if I come see you right now?"

"Actually I am on my way to the gym but—"she pauses and then makes a gasping sound into the phone. "Clary, why the heck did you just ask if I was a vet major? Holy halibut, tell me you do not have the animal that you hit in my car. For the love of all that is holy, tell me this."

I answer her with silence.

"Clary!" she shouts into the phone so loudly that I have to bring it away from my ear.

"Um…"

"Clary, wait, what kind of animal are we talking about here? You aren't putting yourself in danger with a rabid raccoon or anything are you?"

"No," I answer truthfully. "It is not a raccoon."

"Then what the heck is it?"

"A—um—well, it is kind of a wolf," I say causally. "But don't freak out."

"A wolf! Please tell me I did not just hear you right because surely you did not just tell me that there is a living, breathing, injured _wolf_ in my car. "An animal that can wake up, at any moment, and rip your face off Clary!"

"It won't rip my face off, it is unconscious," I tell her defensively. "Besides Jak, is really nice."

"Did I just hear you _name_ the thing?" She says appalled. "And where are you? You aren't in the actual car, right?"

"Well…" I trail off again and here her cry out my name again in agitation.

"Pull over, get out of the car before we find out just how _nice_ the thing can be when it is confined in a car, and tell me where you are so I can come and help you out of this mess." Keally's voice has reached a state of panic and I try to calm her down, tell her where I am, and pull over on the side of the road but I remain in the car with Jak.

I turn around in the driver seat, pulling back and down the seat so I can lay next to Jak's cramped body that is so still that I almost fear that he is not breathing until I lay my hand on his chest to feel his faint heartbeat.

"I am so sorry, Jak." I whisper the words and slowly run my fingers through his russet fur, trying to keep him calm.

A heavy weight of emotion overwhelms me, which causes tears to prick my vision at the thought of him dying because of me. Without thinking, I bury my face the fur of his shoulder and inhale calm, deep breaths to keep from breaking down.

My fault…all my fault. Why did these things—these bad things—always maneuver their way into my life. "Just hang on, Jak. Please. Do not die," I whisper into his fur that smells oddly familiar. "Help is on the way, I promise. Just do not die."

I inhale again, half of me trying to remain calm while the other half is curious to why this wolf smells so shockingly familiar—the smell of forest musk and something spicy.

A sharp slap echoes on the side of the car, which causes me to jump in surprise and squint up at the figure in the window. Keally must have ran fast to get here because she is heaving and out of breath when she swings the car door open and grabs me to pull me out. Out of the car and away from Jak, while she frowns at me and places her hands on her hips.

"Didn't I tell you to _not_ stay in the vehicle with the wild animal? And then I run here to find you _snuggling _up with the thing," Keally points out in a disapproving tone.

"Maybe," I smirk at her and then smile when she shots me a look. But my mind still remains on the curious fact that Jak smells so freaking familiar. Where have I smelled that scent of forest and spice?

"This is not funny, Clary." She tries to say seriously, feigning anger but then a smile curves the corners of her mouth. And then she pulls me into a hug, sighing in relief. "I am just glad that you are okay."

We pull apart and she sighs again, turning her attention to the car. "Okay. Where is my patient?"

After pulling down the top of the convertible, Keally jumps up into the car and checks Jak over with stethoscope she pulls out of her bag. "Okay, well, he is breathing…that's a good sign. And it seems pretty normal, his heartbeat I mean."

She bends down and runs her hands gently over Jak's body: along his back, shoulders, neck and down to his legs and tail. She frowns and feels beneath the fur of his chest, frowns again and peers closer to run her fingers along something.

"What? What is it?" I ask her and hop up into the car with her, instead of hanging over the side in order to be close to both of them.

"There is an incision here on the lower right pectoral that seems to go in a perpendicular and symmetrical, which follows a distinct three-hundred-sixty degree pattern." She tries to push back the fur to get a closer look, frowning.

"Right," I respond and shake my head at her medical speaking. "Keally, I know I am going in the medical field too but I am more Counseling Psychology based. I am not clinical so can you say that again in maybe a little more English, please?"

She laughs quietly but continues looking at the area on Jak's chest. "He has a mark here on the right side of his chest, which would not be that strange but it seems to curve in a complete circle. Clary…it seems almost—"

She breaks off and begins to feel up the wolf's neck, smoothing her fingers over his face.

"What? It seems almost like what, Keal?"

She turns to me and frowns slightly. "It seems almost man-made, Clary, and not something like ordinary canines get when fighting. At first I thought it was a bite-mark from another animal, maybe a pack member or something, but it seems to be carved in a perfect three-hundred-sixty degree angle—a perfect circle that is completely smoothed over and has no signs of teeth markings."

"You don't think it was caused by me hitting him do you?" I glance at Jak, anxiously. "Like the front fender causing an impact to his heart and leaving a mark?"

Keally shakes her head, blonde waves swaying in the breeze. "No, it is too much of a circular rotation—a perfect 360 degrees. Clary, I am not sure what it could be from."

"But you do not think that is why he is unconscious right now?" I ask her and reach over to run my fingers through Jak's russet fur in attempt to ease my fear that he is going to die. I breathe a sigh of relief when I feel his steady heartbeat, intakes of breath and warmth. "Like it is not because he is bleeding internally or anything?"

"No," she replies checking Jak's temples. "I think that he is unconscious because he received impact to his left temple. There is a small, shallow cut here." She points at an area that is blended with russet and a reddish tint of blood.

"That is strange," Keally comments and holds Jak's temple to her line of vision.

"What is?" I look closer but only see the slick of wet blood and smelling the iron mixing in with his familiar scent.

"The cut that he received from the impact of the front fender…" she says trailing off, frowning, and then shakes her head before glancing over at me. "It seems to be already entering the state of mitosis completion."

"Wait," I say and remember something from my biology lecture. "Mitosis means that it is reproducing new cells to heal the cut, but how can that be that Jak's cut is already almost healed?"

"I don't know, Clary." Keally shakes her head, slowly. "I have never seen anything like this before; cuts usually do not heal this fast in accidents like this."

She stands up and stares at Jak from afar, "And holy cow. He is freaking massive, I have _never_ seen a wolf this big—in a textbook, documentary, or anywhere."

"Yeah. I was thinking the same thing before," I mumble. "Because he is freaking _heavy_."

We both continue staring at him and then his ear begins to twitch and his nose twitches, and he lets out a whine from deep in his throat. Keally grabs my arm and drags me out of the car, far away from Jak.

"Keally, what—" And then I break off because I see the russet wolf rising to his feet, he glances at Keally and begins to growl low in his throat. He glances at me and begins to walk over to Keally is a low crotch, continuing growling. I jump in front of her before he does anything, creating a protective stance in front of Keally and staring at Jak with determination.

"No," I say firmly to him. At the sound of my voice he pauses, glances at me with those eyes and whines.

"Clary," Keally warns me and grabs my arm, like she wants to try and protect me but I shake my head and shake her off.

"I said no, Jak." I stare at him and pronounce each word I say in a strong, dominant tone. "Leave her alone, she is my friend."

Jak backs down and whines softly, glancing at Keally before turning and running off into the woods nearby. He disappeared almost as instantly as he had appeared in front of me when I hit him with the car.

Keally comes beside me, wrapping an arm around me while I continue staring at the wood where the strange russet wolf disappeared. Half of me wanted to follow after him, while the other half was torn between running away and never wanting to see him again.

And then something suddenly hit me, like someone impacting me with the weight of a metaphorical car. The scent of forest and spice, it all came back to me like a huge wave crashing over me with every intention of allowing me to drown. My spot up at the cliffs, Jacob and the embarrassing almost kiss, and the scent of forest and spice lingering on Jacob's skin.

The familiar scent of forest and spice on Jak and the link between Jacob consumed me, and I began running into the forest to find the russet wolf. I ran, ignoring the sound of Keally calling out my name and begging me to come back.

"Jak," I call out and increase my speed.

I run for what seems like an hour with my heart pounding in my chest like a caged bird and my lungs on fire. I spin around, turning at every noise in search of Jak. "Jak!"

My voice echoes through the woods, the russet wolf's name bouncing from tree to tree until fading into the skies above. "Jak, where are you?"

I walk a little farther and my knees begin to go weak so I fall to my knees with my head spinning, and I look for my bag for my iron pills but my stomach drops when I remember I left my bag—which has my iron pills—in Keally's car. "Jak," I say weakly and try to calm my breathing and put my head between my knees, taking in deep, controlled breaths.

"Jacob!" I shout to the trees, to the falling leaves, to the darkening sky and the forest smell. Then I hear something come up behind me, the sound of rustling leaves, and I turn to find Jak taking a hesitant step towards me but my vision already beginning to blur.

I try to stand but then sway on my feet and everything begins to disappear in blurs of blotted darkness until I feel myself fall.

**Jacob's POV:**

Jacob did not think he had ever phased out of wolf form to human form so fast before but he caught Clary before she collapsed to the ground. He was naked when he did it but he still phased in time, with that in mind he gently laid Clary on the ground away from his body to not violate her. Then he turned to change into his clothes that were hidden behind a nearby tree but paused when he heard clapping.

The sound caused him to tense and he turn quickly—naked and everything—to find the source of the sound and discovering the girl Keally leaning against a tree. "My you are certainly looking…well, wolf boy."

"Shut it, you bloodsucker, I cannot believe I did not sense you before on that night that I first met you." Jacob glared at the vampire.

Keally laughs and shakes her head. "Oh you silly wolf boy, I am not a full vampire. You definitely would have been about to smell me out then."

"That is true," Jacob replies and grabs his clothes—pulling on his boxers and jeans first before shrugging on his black t-shirt. "You do not smell nearly as disgusting as they do, what are you then?"

Keally just smiles, slyly eyeing Jacob like he is a science experiment. "Sorry, I do not share my secrets with werewolf. Especially alphas, no offense," she replies.

"I could just rip your head off and see if it works the same as other vampires when I burn you to ashes," Jacob says casually. "Whatever you chose."

Keally squints at him, frowning. "I think I liked you better unconscious," she says irritated and sighs. "Fine but only because I do not have all day to fight with you, Clary needs her iron pills and I will not let anything happen to her under my watch."

Jacob shoots her a weird look and then glances anxiously at Clary, then watches with tense shoulders as Keally bends over Clary with a syringe. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" He advances at her quickly, crouching into a protective stance in front of Clary. "Stay away from her."

"Look wolf-boy," she says impatiently and tries to step around him but he continues to block her, a growl forming low in his throat. "Get out of the way you stupid mutt, you do not understand that if she does not get her iron injection it could cause her serious damage."

"What?" Jacob stares at Keally like she just suggested he let her eat Clary for a night-time snack.

Keally huffs out a sound of frustration and shakes her head at Jacob. "Clary is severely anemic, you dumbass, now get out of the way."

Jacob freezes and just stares at her, contemplating, and Keally just pushes him aside in annoyance. She injects Clary in the vein in her arm, directly into the bloodstream. "There, now I do not have to worry about losing my best friend." She places the needle back into a case labeled emergency before placing it back in a bag that Jacob had often seen Clary carrying.

"Is she going to be alright?" He asks sitting down beside Clary and pulling her to him, resting her head gently in the curve of his arm while brushing the hair out of her face carefully with his other hand.

"Yeah," she says quietly and her blue eyes soften at his gesture to Clary. "But I am just going to have to get her checked at the hospital really quick before we head back to campus."

Jacob nods slowly, "do you think she will remember what I am?"

"You mean a mutt?" She asks with a smirk, and then shakes her head. "I don't think so, though I do believe she has a bit of an idea with you hanging around her as "Jak" all the time."

"So what are you?" Jacob asks suddenly, unconsciously smoothing a hand over Clary's hair.

Keally lets out a long sigh and he almost thought she would not answer. "I am rare case in the world, I am a half human and half vampire."

"How the hell does that happen?"

Keally smirks and then laughs. "Well, wolf-boy, when mommy and daddy love each other _very much_—"

"Gross, you mean vampires can just make you things by having sex?" Jacob cringes at the very thought of two vampires together.

Keally laughs and shakes her head. "No, it has to be a vampire male and a human female to make my kind. And the mommy does not usually live to tell the tale."

"Shit," Jacob curses immediately thinking of Bella.

"Yes, wolf-boy," she says and reaches down to pick Clary up out of his lap. "Shit is right. Now I have to go take my best friend to the hospital and you be a good little mutt and stay away from any moving vehicles."

"That wasn't my fault," he grumbles. "I was chasing this black wolf that was watching Clary and I when we were up on the cliff-side."

Keally pauses and glances back at Jacob while carefully carrying Clary like she weighed nothing. "A black wolf…like one of your kind?"

Jacob considers telling her, deciding if she is trustworthy enough, and then looks at the gentle way Keally is holding Clary. "I think so but I lost track of it when I was crossing the street."

Keally rolls her eyes and smirks at him. "Well, obviously."

The comment causes a growl to erupt in Jacob's throat, a low warning to Keally to back off. He glares at her, grumbles and shakes his head.

"You know," Keally begins cheerfully. "You are awfully testy Jacob Black, always giving a temper."

Jacob considers the comment and his gaze accidently falls on Clary, like his eyes were magnets dragged by a magnetic force in the form of a girl.

Keally clears her throat, breaking the connection, and peers at him curiously. "Except when you are around Clary, I wonder…is she special to you wolf-boy?"

He glances at Clary again, considering his answer, before responding. "I am not really sure."

"Well, you better become sure soon." Keally announces the statement and begins walking away with graceful, light steps. "Because if you hurt her, mutt, I _will_ kill you."

Jacob watched Keally disappear from view before replying. "I will not hurt her," he says quietly to the forest around him. "I promise."

**So review and tell me what you think? If you think that you have a specular idea to throw at me to put in the story please let me know! Review! =]**


	15. Chapter 15 No Good

**I do not own **_**Twilight! **_

**Sorry for the delay on the update, I will try to make the next chapter pronto. Thank you to those of you that reviewed (**_**CandisDrake**_**), made the story a favorite, and followed.**

**Clary's POV:**

I open my eyes and blink rapidly trying to adjust my vision from the bright light, sitting up I hear the sound of paper rustling. Where am I?

"Oh good, you are awake!" I turn my head quickly and Keally is staring at me anxiously, sitting in a chair close to the bed I am in. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh. I am peachy keen," I mumble irritable but then smile wanly at her. "Am I in the hospital, Keal?"

"Yes ma'am," she says in attempt to be cheeky.

"Why?" I rack my brain for what happened but all I can remember is my mad search for my iron pills, and then the dizzying sensation before I blacked out. "How did you find me?"

"Well," Keally begins while swinging her legs back and forth like a child, then she claps her hands together. "I went searching for you after you made that dash into the woods, I started to worry and then I saw you had forgotten your iron pills and I ran to make sure you were alright."

"Oh," I reply softly remembering seeing a Jak before I blacked out.

"Yes but then I brought your bag and ran into the woods. You were unconscious when I found you and the iron injection for emergencies worked its magic just in time," she says frowning and rises to move beside the bed I am on. She grasps my hand tightly, a small smile on her red lips and her blue eyes swimming with emotion.

"Oh Keally…" I begin and bite my lip. "I am fine. Thank you for everything."

"My dear, you are my best friend…my sister, I will always be distressed if you are ever in danger."

"Keally," I say and give her a look that tells her not to think of such things.

"It is true," she says smiling a bright beautiful smile and then she hugs me. "Do not scare me like that again."

I laugh into her shoulder, as if I could help the fact that being anemic means these things could always happen to me if I find myself without my pills. Keally pulls back and frowns at me, her eyes serious and fearful.

"I mean it, Clary."

I sigh and frown back at her. "I know." I shake my head. "I am sorry, Keal. I'm just really tired. Can we just go home?"

Keally nods and hugs me again. "Yeah, we just have to make sure the doctor tells you that you are all cleared and good to leave."

As if on cue, a woman in a white coat steps into the room with her black heels clicking on the floor and a clipboard in her hand. "Alright, Miss Knight, I have your results and it seems that as long as you take your pills regularly and follow your high iron-rich diet, you should be free to go once I recheck your blood pressure and the regular examination procedure."

I nod to her in reply and mentally roll my eyes; it is just what every doctor says when I happen to have my annual examination, or if I am having difficulties in over-exhaustion. Finally, after all is none and the good doctor has clicked her pen in acknowledgement of my diet and management, I am free to leave.

We make our way into Keally's car and drive back to campus with Keally sending me concerned glances while I stare glumly out the window. After about the sixth glance I frown and shake my head. "What is it Keally?" I ask her while keeping my gaze on the trees passing us by.

"Nothing," she squeaks out and then sighs. "What is wrong, Clary?"

I frown deeper and bite my lip, considering. What is wrong with me? "Nothing," I say lightly and place a smile on my lips to try to appease her but she just glances at me again, frowning.

"Something is on your mind, its eating at you, just let me know and maybe I can help." I shake my head as the feeling of something significant happening inches its way in my memory again, teasing me with its closeness but fleeing at the second I try to grasp what it is.

"Did something else happen in the woods, Keal?" I blurt out the question so suddenly that Keally swerves just in time to miss a nearing guardrail that her car came dangerously close to hitting as she stares at me, startled.

She concentrates on the road before her, gripping the steering-wheel for support and frowning as she drives. "What do you mean," she asks in a measured tone.

"I—"I pause and shake my head again, feeling ridiculous. "I am not really sure, I just…I don't know." I press my forehead against the window in frustration, the cold surface soothing my head.

"What?" Keally glances over again, pressing me to continue with what I was saying.

"I just feel like I am…forgetting something," I reply and look at her and the way her perfect jawline clenches and her peony-shaped lips purse in thought. "I am not crazy Keal, I swear, I just feel like something happened that I cannot remember. Something that was really important but the memory is just out of my reach, you know?"

"I found you in the woods, gave you the iron injection, and then drove you to the hospital." Her short tone suggests more and I squint at her in confusion, and then a thought sparks into my head.

"Did you see Jak?"

Keally widens her eyes at me with her lips parted in a oh-crap look, I glance at the road and see a red light quickly approaching the vehicle. "Keal. Red light," I point out and she slams on the brakes, cursing. I hold onto the dash in attempt to avoid smacking my skull off the window or getting a nasty case of whiplash.

"Keally?" I look over at her in concern as she takes calm breaths in and out carefully as she stares straight ahead. The light changes and for a moment I think she is not going to answer me.

"Yes," she says quiet and honest. "I saw the wolf."

"Was he alright?" My voice is anxious even to my own ears and Keally snorts from her driver's seat, and I turn glare at her playfully. "Keally!"

"Okay, okay." she laughs and then mumbles under her breath. "I'm sorry. Yes, the mutt was fine."

"Keally!"

"What?" She smiles coyly at me.

"Jak is a beautiful creature, so do not tease. He is not a mutt," I say and fold my arms at her. "Besides, don't you love all animals and that's why you want to become a veterinarian."

Keally beams at me and pulls into the campus parking lot. "Yeah, yeah. I do," she replies, waving her hand and making a face at me.

I giggle at her as we get out of the car and shoulder my bag as she locks the car up before we start walking to our dorm. She wraps her arm around my shoulders and I smell her sweet scent as she playfully messes up my hair by rubbing her hand on the top of my head.

"So did anything happen with Zach earlier today?" I stop laughing at her question and when I look at her I see the instant regret in her blue eyes, she bites her lip and looks away. "That is, if you wish to talk about it."

"He said I was making a big mistake," I blurt out thinking of what he had said in the dining hall. "And tried to tell me that what happened between him and that girl was a mistake."

Keally snorts in disgust and rolls her eyes but before she says anything I interrupt her. "I know. I thought it was a load of crap too," I say and shake my head. "He is just so dang territorial though, Keal. It is kind of unnerving the way he is always saying that I am his, as if I am some sort of property that he has branded."

"He is an ass, Clary. Do not waste your time or energy on him," she replies with an edge to her voice.

"Yeah," I mumble and pause by the entrance of our building. Keally starts to go in and holds the door open for me to follow but I shake my head and smile at her. "I think that I am going to go for a walk for a bit to clear my head. I will meet up with you later, okay?"

Keally cocks her head sideways and peers at me, curious and concerned. "Are you sure you do not want any company?"

I shake my head, which I am sure she already predicted would be my answer, and give her a hug before I start walking. "I will be fine. And I promise we can still meet up for drinks as promised later at Jackie's party that you said you wished to go to tonight."

"Sweet," she responds with a sunny smile but then frowns in thought. "Are you sure you do not want to just rest it out tonight? It has been a long day for you, and I do not want you to feel pressured into going."

"No," I say with a smile. "I should be fine to go, I just want to get some air first and then I will let you know for sure."

"Alright." Keally frowns at me, concerned. "But if there is anything you need, I am only a phone call away. Okay?"

"Ay ay, captain." I give her a mock salute and then giggle, the act seeming to appease her and she nods at me with a tiny smile on the corners of her lips.

"Be careful," she calls as I walk away. "And you have your pills?"

I pat my bag with my palm and wave her off with a smile, my feet steering into a random direction until I find myself on the outskirts of the woods. Looking up at the sky, I notice it is growing a bit dark but the moment my feet hit the crunching of leaves I feel at home.

I make it to my spot again smiling, until my eyes take in a figure sitting with his legs hanging over the edge of the cliff. My feet halt, unsure of what to do but the man seems to hear my inner scuffling or maybe just my weight bouncing from side to side on the balls of my feet in the decision to stay or go. He turns around and my heart slams into my chest.

No. I cannot face him now; the thought is much too embarrassing and slightly mortifying. "I—"I break of flushing and biting my lip, nervously.

"Clary," Jacob says surprised and rises to his feet quickly. His brown eyes smolder with concern and a frown turns the corner of his lips downwards, it is almost too hard to look at someone so damn beautiful. "Are you alright?"

I look away and stare at my knotted hands, gritting my teeth as a flush rises to my cheeks at the memory of our last meeting. The almost kiss, my running, and then everything that followed. "Yes," I reply softly to my clasped hands. "It has just been a long day for me."

"I can imagine," he whispers so quietly that I do not feel that I was not meant hear so I stare at him in confusion as he peers at the horizon that has changed purplish-pink from the sun setting. Thinking my presence has become unwanted I step towards the path that I came, shaking my head and flushing deeper.

"I should go. I'm sorry if I disturbed you up here," I mumble out quickly and walk away.

"Hey, hold up. Clary!" His voice is alarming and I turn around in surprise, the frantic call of my name scrapping its way across my heart.

I look at him expectantly but his expression is wiped clean of emotion, my heart chills as I wait for him to give me some let-down of what happened between us before. A rejection.

"Do you have your iron pills?" Jacob asks suddenly and I blink at him in shock, my head swimming in confusion and surprise by his knowledge of my anemia.

"How—"I stammer out and then I glare at him because if he is attempting to pity me then I am definitely out of here. But how the heck did he know? He was not there when I passed out in the woods…was he? No, Keally definitely would have mentioned it if he was and surely I would remember it all. "How did you know that I was anemic?"

Jacob seems to pale under his tanned skin at my question and his dark eyes widen in sudden understanding, though, understanding at what I have no idea. "You do not remember," he whispers softly.

"What?" I look at him, my frown growing deeper and my frustration escalating. "What the heck do you mean that I do not remember?"

Jacob looks at me but remains silent, watching as I begin to freak out. "You know something about what happened today in the woods," I accuse in a flash of realization. "Don't you?"

Jacob's expression grows pained and weary but a war is waging inside me and I fear he does not stand a chance. "You do," I say in a low voice and step towards him until we are chest to chest, the scent of forest and spice mingling in the air around us.

"No," Jacob replies suddenly as he stares down at me with his face void of emotion again. "I do not know what you are talking about."

"Then how did you know?" I say suspiciously. "How did you know that I needed my iron pills? What did you mean by me not remembering?"

"I just did, alright? Look," he begins and runs a hand through his hair in frustration. "I heard you were in the hospital that is all, god, it was practically all over campus that you had to spend the night at the hospital because you flaked out and forgot to carry along your pills."

My eyes widen at his harsh words, my mind playing over his pitying tone and him calling me a flake for not remembering my pills when how could he have known that I was running after something. But how silly would it be for me to explain that I was trying to run after a wolf to make sure that it was alright and that in my mad dash I forgot my bag.

"I see," I say calmly in a pinched tone and I step away from him. "I should really be going, sorry again that I bothered you."

"Clary," Jacob says and grasps my arm before I can take another step, delicious tingles running down my arm until they curl in a puddle at my feet with a sigh. "I did not mean for that to sound so harsh, I apologize."

I shake my head and stare anywhere but at him, my gaze finally resting on horizon as I speak to him carefully. "No. You are right, it was stupid to place myself in danger like that when I have been warned so many times that the deficiency I have is nothing to mess around with."

I pull my arm from his grasp, an act that causes my body to practically scream in protest but I step away from him once more. However, just when I am about to step onto the path that will lead me far away from him, I remember the other part of what he had said.

"There is one thing that you said that I do not understand though, Jacob. What did you mean by me not remembering something?" I watch as his turned back stiffens at my question.

"Clary," he warns me coldly.

"What? What is so wrong with me asking what you meant?" My voice rises the more I end up saying. I step closer to him again until I am a foot away from his turned back.

"Just don't, okay?" He says and turns to me with eyes cold and calculating but I decide not to back down.

"No, not okay. You and Keally are hiding something from me, about what exactly I do not know, but I want to know." I jab my finger into his chest and my eyes widen at his burning chest as I unconsciously flatten my palm on its warmth, feeling his hammering heart under his t-shirt. His body is trembling but at my touch every inch of him seems to stiffen, he stares at me with his eyes narrowed and lips pressed in a thin line.

His hand grabs mine and for a moment the warmth engulfs my entire body and I feel…complete. However, the moment is short-lived when he throws my hand away from him like it is a lit match that risks him getting burned.

I feel like I have been slapped and obviously rejected, my eyes flint away and my cheeks reach a point of blushing that is practically mortifying. "Fine, do not tell me, I do not care anymore." I storm away from him, glaring and embarrassed.

"Clary," he says hesitantly.

"What?!" I turn on him angry and trying preserve what little dignity I have seem to keep, he is so unnerving and frustrating that I just want to shake him. "What is it, Jacob? Because this whole hot and cold thing with you, frankly, it is exhausting."

He stares at me shocked and has the audacity to look hurt, well, at this point I am too angry and confused to even deal with this. "You should stay away from me," he says coldly.

"What the hell does that even mean, Jacob?" I feel like the breath has been knocked out of me and for some reason tears prick the back of my eyes but I force them away.

"Just what I said, I am no good for you, and you deserve someone that can give you everything. But I am not him," he says slowly as if talking to a child.

"Is this about the almost-kiss," I whisper and feel myself growing paler. "When we were up here yesterday and talking."

"Yes," he replies emotionlessly.

"So, you did not feel anything in that? You didn't—"I pause and bite my lip in the ultimate humiliation, his final rejection. "You do not have any feelings for me?"

"No," he says quietly.

"But I thought—"

"You thought wrong, Clary." The way he says my name, in such a cold and careless manner, it causes my heart to painfully contract. And the pressure behind my eyes, the brewing tears, has reached the point of unbearable.

"Why?" I whisper, unsure why I feel the need to punish myself further with the information but knowing I want to know the reason why he does not want me.

"What do you mean, why?"

I stare at the ground shamefully, "Why did you say that you are no good for me?" Why is it you don't want me, I add silently in my head.

"Because I'm not… just like you are no good for me." I think a piece of my heart cracked at his confession and I nod, forcing myself to look at him before I go.

"Alright, I understand."

"You understand?" He looks at me wearily that beautiful mouth drawn in a somber, thin line on his face.

"Completely," I whisper softly and force a smile on my face before I turn to leave. "See you around, Jacob."

I walk onto the path, taking slow and careful steps, and hoping that Jacob will call out my name again but he never does. He never stops me, never tells me that everything he said was a lie, never tells me that he does feel what I feel.

I make it back to the safety of my dorm, closing the door behind me carefully before the tears break from their restraints. Collapsing on my bed, I let the sobs of embarrassment and hurt overtake me until I hear Keally come out of the bathroom.

"Clary? I thought I heard you come in—"Keally breaks off as she takes in the sight of me numbly lying on my bed, my head buried in my pillow. "Clary, honey, what is it? Are you feeling sick?"

I shake my head in the confines of my pillow but do not respond verbally, I am not sure if I could even if I wanted to.

"Is it Zach? Did you run into him, I will kill him if he did something just tell me what is wrong."

"It wasn't Zach," I mumble and hear her gasp as she hears the tears in my voice.

"Clary, who the hell made you _cry,_" her voice is deadly, a mother bear ready to pounce at any given notice. The tone causes another bout of fresh sobs and she rushes over to me to envelop me in a tight hug, and I quietly tell her everything that happened through my tears.

"I am going to kill him," Keally says through gritted teeth and hugs me closer. "The mutt," she mumbles under her breath and I pull back to blink at her, shaking my head.

"No, I just misinterpreted his actions. I thought…" I trail off, staring at my hands, and then peering at Keally's beautiful enraged face.

"Hell, I thought the same thing Clary!" I wince at her tone and she shakes her head as she curses. "He likes you, I know he does, but Clary…I was right in saying no one, _no one_ deserves you."

I shake my head, frowning.

"I am going to get us some nuts of dough from the store," she starts brightly and grasps my hand. "No parties tonight, we are just going to hang out and watch movies and drink coffee and tea while we gorge ourselves with classic romances and delicious treats."

I sigh and nod my head at her, a quiet defeat from a horrible past couple of days.

**Jacob's POV:**

Jacob shuffles into the apartment that Embry, Quill, and he share in a defeated mental exhaustion that keeps playing the look on Clary's face over and over again. The horrible, heart clenching sensation that railed over his body as he said the words that hurt his imprint and nearly killed him.

A knock raps on the door and Jacob just lies on his bed, numbly replaying how much of an asshole he is for hurting such a beautiful, sweet and perfect woman. The impatient knocking continues and Quill finally rises to get the door, frowning at Jacob.

"Well, hello beautiful. What do we owe to your heavenly presence, my dear?" Quill makes a little gasp as whomever pushes passed him and walks into the apartment as Quill regards her cheekily. "Yes, do come in."

With a heavy heart, I half expect the person to be Clary while the other half dreads that it is not her. Then I am looking into the angry blue eyes of the half-breed, Keally.

"Mutt!" A feminine screech calls out, making him wince.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing, Black?" Keally lets out a snarl at him with her vampire teeth becoming unsheathed, Quill gasps in alarm and tenses with the realization that he just let a vampire into the apartment. "She was getting better after that tool-bag, Zack, and now you have to add to her insecure grief."

"Shoo leech, do not bother me." Jacob replies with little effort because he knows he deserves to be grilled for hurting Clary but he was also speaking the truth when he said he was no good for her.

"I said I would kill you if you hurt her, mutt, and what did you have to go and do." Keally presses her lips in a firm line and glares at him. "Just because you are an alpha mutt does not give you the right to trample over anyone you wish, and by anyone I mean Clary."

"I know," Jacob mumbles with his head in his hands.

"You know?" She hisses out in outrage, rolling her eyes. "Well, as long as you know, I guess that makes it _okay_ then doesn't it? Despite the fact that my best friend is crying her eyes out because of your stupidity, as long as you know that it is _oh-freaking-kay._"

"She is crying?" Jacob asks in a pained voice and looks at her.

Keally rolls her eyes at him. "Of course she is freaking crying, you idiot, she _likes _you." She shakes her head, frustrated. "You said you would not hurt her, Jacob."

"I know," he says with a dead look in his dark eyes.

"What the hell does that _mean_, mutt?" She lunges for Jacob but Quill grabs her before she can get to him. "You stay the hell away from her. So help me I will break you in half if you mess with her again."

"Well, that is going to be a little hard seeing as we have class together so we will be seeing a lot of each other." The statement comes out more bitter than intended but Jacob was getting mad, he did not want to hurt Clary so that was why he called off all this before it could even start.

Keally narrows her eyes at him into slits and curls back her lip in disgust. "I thought she was special to you, mutt." She shakes her blonde head in agitation and walks over to the door, opens it wide, and turns back to send on final glare at him. "I wonder…do you have a heart, Jacob Black?"

Her words wring in his head until they stab into his heart, causing pain to writhe within him as Keally slams the door shut.


	16. Chapter 16 Crazy for You

**Caution, this chapter is a bit personal so I thought I would warn some of the implications of abuse before you read this. It is rated M for a reason, thank you.**

_I am standing in my childhood kitchen, I am alone and mommy forgot to pay the electric bill so it is dark and I do my spelling worksheets by candlelight. Something slams against the front door and I jump at the violent noise, spilling my glass of water all over the carpet and my spelling homework. _

"_Clarissa, what the fuck did you get all over the floor you little shit," a rough voice slurs. A familiar man stumbles in behind daddy and I grab up my things quickly, run upstairs to my room and push my dresser against the door, and sit with my back against it. My small chest heaves up and down from beneath my baggy green sweater, the one mommy said matches my eyes. _

_I hear footsteps in the hall, climbing the steps, and stopping in front of my door as I wait numbly for him to speak from the other side. Maybe if I do not reply this time he will think I am not here, no…that never works._

"_Clarisssssahhh," his voice taunts and I hear him sliding his hand over the length of the door. "Come out, baby doll, I have a nice "present" for you here. It's been waiting all day to see you."_

_Tears steam down my face as he begins to turn the knob of the door and trying to get in but I have tied the doorknob to my desk so it would not budge until he begins slamming his body against it. My dresser begins to shake under is attempts and I hear his cursing from the other side of the door. I close my eyes, cover my ears, and rock back and forth until finally the dresser stops shaking._

_I open my eyes and suddenly I am no longer the little girl in the baggy green sweater, I look around my room at the row of books on my shelf and the door to tidy room is wide open. I rush over to the door and close it, sliding the lock over with a satisfying click but then a feeling of claustrophobia overwhelms me when I turn back to stare at my room._

_The walls seem like they are closing in on me and then the music begins…_

_**Everybody's waiting, everybody's watching.**_

_**Even when you're sleeping,**_

_**Keep your eyes open.**_

_The song skips forward, like some possessed melody and I stiffen at the scratching sound that comes from my stereo._

_**Dreaming dreams with happy endings.**_

_**In backyards winning battles with the wooden swords.**_

_**But now we stepped into a cruel world, where everybody stands in **_

_**Keep score.**_

_I hear a snarling sound and slowly turn towards my window, seeing the blue curtains fluttering in the open breeze and I rush to lock the window with another satisfying click. A growl from behind me reaches my ears the moment I begin to relax, and with a sink feeling in my stomach I close my eyes and turn around. "This is just a dream; this is just a dream, just a dream…" My voice quivers as I try to will myself awake but when I open my eyes I see the black wolf with glowing silver eyes._

_**Everybody's waiting,**_

_**For you to breakdown.**_

_**Everybody's watching,**_

_**To see the fall out.**_

_**Even when you're sleeping.**_

_I run to my dresser and begin throwing things at the wolf with fear in every fiber of my body, while the wolf stalks closer with predatory grace. _

_**Sleeping.**_

_Sleep, this is all a dream I have to remember that this is all just a dream. I close my eyes and pray one more time for me to wake up, wake the hell up Clary! I hear the wolf's snarling and feel his hot breath on my face as I curl my legs and arms tighter in a ball—making myself small— from my seated position on the wooden floor of my room. _

_Pain explodes into my left shoulder and my eyes widen as the wolf bites down viciously with eyes full of predatory possession, it is staking its claim on me—marking me._

_**Keep your eye-eyes open.**_

_I start to scream as his powerful jaws lock tighter onto my shoulder._

**Clary's POV:**

I wake up, shaking and my left shoulder tingling so much that I have to pull down my sleeve to double-check that there is no trace of blood or markings of teeth engraved there.

"Damn you Taylor Swift," I mumble aggravated.

Walking to the mirror, I frown back at what I see—a pale, sickly looking little girl from my past flashing in my dull moss-colored eyes.

"_Clarissa, I told you to do the dishes while I was at work."_

"_Clarissa, where the fuck are you girl, I told you to pick up these toys."_

_I was daddy but then mommy told me to scrub the floor while she was at work. Please _

"_Do not talk back to me, Clarissa, now go be a good little girl and get daddy another beer."_

_Mommy, my tummy hurts._

"_Jesus, Claire, when are you going to the store the kids are hungry and we are out of food." _

"_Well Darik maybe if you would go grocery shopping while I am working, instead of sitting on your ass and drinking beer as soon as you get home from the factory, then maybe we would have food in the house."_

_Daddy, please stop yelling at mommy, I promise I will be good and I will play quietly with my dolls while you watch television. And I will not touch your icky cigarettes and beer like sissy does._

"_Damn it, Claire, I thought you said you paid the heating bill. Now we will have to boil water over the stove to take baths. You spent the money, didn't you? You fucking spent it on useless crap, again. I know you did!"_

"_No I did not; you said you would take care of it, Darik!"_

_Daddy…No, can't you see mommy does not like it when you press her against the wall. She is crying._

I shake my head, thinking about the classes that I have today instead and forcing myself to eat a banana. "Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto." I quietly list the planets and then reverse the order in my head until all the thoughts go away and I smile at my reflection, hesitantly. "Well, we are not much to look at but boy do we have character."

I snort at the wide-set of my make-up free eyes. "Yeah, character, starting with the fact that you are a psychology major and are talking to yourself." I roll my eyes at myself and pull my hair in a sloppy-bun. "Well it is a start, Clary, so it will have to do."

I pack up my books for the day, already dressed and ready, and then walk to biology. After sitting in my seat I pull out my novel, _Tess of the D'Urbervilles _by Thomas Hardy, which I am on the last chapter of and get lost in the story.

"_God, girl, you sure read a lot. Why can't you be normal like the rest of the family and watch television and fish for your hobbies?" _

_And drink beer and do other drugs like you, dad? No thanks, I would rather escape in this fictional world then live in yours._

Why am I thinking more about this stuff today? The past is the past, yes it was crappy but I have gotten over that, I had to. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto—I list the order again and again to repress my memories.

"Another book?" I snap out of my thoughts as alarming tears prick the back of my eyes, god, what is wrong with me lately? It is as if someone turned on the waterworks and broke all my restraints.

"Yeppers," I say smiling weakly and wave the book in front of Embry's face. "You caught me, good sir."

"Good sir," Embry comments beaming. "I like the sound of that Miss Knight."

Embry snags the novel from my hands and flips to a page, reading a line at random. "Hmmm…"You, and those like you, take your fill of pleasure on earth by making the life of such as me bitter and black with sorrow—"Embry stares at me wide-eyed. "Wow, Clary that is one of the most depressing things I have ever heard."

"And then it is a fine thing, when you have had enough of that, to think of securing your pleasure in heaven by becoming converted!" I whisper to Embry passionately and smile at his expression filled of awe and confusion. "It is the remainder of that quote by Tess."

"What are you guys up to?" An all-too-familiar voice zips through my veins, clenching my heart. Jacob looks at me carefully and frowns when I smile at him and say hello before turning to Quill who has snagged up my novel.

""My eyes were—"Quill begins and then I smile, interrupting him while locking eyes with Jacob.

"My eyes were dazed by you for a little, and that was all." The intensity flowing between Jacob and I is electric, his eyes sinking into my heart and heating my skin until I turn away and smile at Embry. He beams back at me, grabs the novel from Quill—who is staring between Jacob and me with a worried expression.

"Another," Embry suggests in a mock British accent and smacks his hand against the table in demand. He flips through the pages again and peers down for a moment.

"Yes, dearest," Embry reads dramatically. "They have come."

I giggle into the palm of my hand and think for a moment where I remembered the verse from. "It is as it should be," I murmured to him with a straight face as I remember this is when Tess is about to be taken to prison. "Angel, I am almost glad—yes, glad! This happiness could not have lasted. It was too much. I have had enough; and now I shall not live for you to despise me!"

Embry stares at me opened mouthed and reads. "She stood up, shook herself, and went forward, neither of the men having moved."

"I am ready," I say quietly.

With a smoldering look, Embry inclines his head towards me and smiles. "And what is it that you are ready for Miss Clary Knight?"

"Why, Embry, I believe you jumped script." I smirk at him and fold my arms across my chest and glancing at the novel tightly clenched in his warm hands. Feeling bold and in the moment of Tess D'Urberville, I move closer to Embry and place my hand on his overly warm shoulder. "Death."

Embry drops the novel and it slams shut on the table as he stares at me, his face very close to my own and the sound snaps me back to reality. I am not Tess that is in love with Angel, I did not kill the husband who abused and destroyed my life, I am not about to stand on trial for said murder.

I blush, wondering what it is that I am doing this close to Embry, and stare down at my hands that are resting on the table.

"Death?" Embry mutters out in curiosity and slides the novel into my hands. "Why would she be ready for death?"

I peer at him, hesitant to reveal the passion that I find the world of the novels I read. "Tess is wanted for the murder of her husband," I say clear and concise.

A silence falls over the table and I shyly peer at Quill, who is looking worriedly in Jacob's direction, and finally I look at Jacob. Jacob's body trembles as he holds onto the table with an iron grip, staring at Embry with his beautiful face in a tightened mess of locked up emotions that swim violently in his dark eyes.

"Well, that escalated quickly." Quill laughs and I crack a smile at his attempt at a joke to ease the tension. Why the hell is Jacob so mad? Why is he sending a seething look at Embry that brings to mind the expression "_if looks could kill_."

Class begins and I stare at the professor listening numbly as I think about Jacob's burning gaze, I glance up at him to find him watching me with a pained look on his face. I quirk my eyebrow at him and he puts down a stoic mask as he gazes back at me impassively.

I press my lips together and turn away from him, resisting the urge to reach over and shake him because I realize now why he had sent that look at Embry, who now will not even look at me. Jacob is jealous. Was that it? No…that cannot be.

Class finally ends, becoming the longest hour and a half of my life, and I jump to my feet and storm out of the room in order to catch up with Embry who high-tailed it out of the classroom with a quickness I considered unfathomable.

"Embry!" I call to his retreating back and groan in frustration when he already passes through the building doors. I turn back furious and find Quill walking with Jacob who still looks angered but has ceased shaking in quiet rage.

"What the hell did you do?" I demand for Jacob to answer and his eyes widen at my tone, which sounds pretty pissed off even to my own ears. "Why did Embry leave so quickly?"

"He had business to attend to," Quill offered weakly and turned to Jacob as if to check that he is not breaking out in angry convulsions.

"Business my foot," I say staring straight at Jacob who sways from foot-to-foot. "What is the real reason, Black?"

"Black?" His dark eyes have the decency to appear contrite and fold my arms across my chest, holding my ground in defiance.

"That is your name, is it not?" My attitude covers my hurt and bruised ego from yesterday.

"Oh, right, so that is how it is going to be." Jacob steps closer to me and Quill glances between us like he is about to imitate Van Gogh's _Scream_ at any moment's notice.

"How else do you want it to be?" I ask shaking my head at him as my frustration spikes. "I know that look that you were sending Embry, that territorial look like someone is invading on _your_ property. It is the same look Zach always got when I talked to any guy, so do not play stupid."

"What are you _talking_ about, Clary?" Jacob says running his hands through his hair.

"Embry and I were just reading a freaking book," I explain and shake my head again. "And you went all postal with your shaking and glaring, and now Embry is off god-knows-where with his tail between his legs."

Quill starts snickering at the comment for some reason and I glare at him but he just turns to Jacob, nudging him playfully. "Come on, Jake, you have to admit _that_ is funny."

Jacob shakes his head and frowns down at me, grabs my arm and leads me away from Quill who continues to crack up. "Clary, I just did not like seeing you that…close to Embry. It was unnerving. I—" He pauses and sees me staring haughtily at the arm he is still holding, he drops his hand away quickly and runs the hand through his messy black hair. "I'm sorry."

"What the heck do you want, Jacob?" I stare at him in exasperation, wondering how to make sense of this beautiful, infuriating man before me.

He looks shocked by my question, he frowns and runs his hand through his messy hair again—a trait I realized happens when he is frustrated. "Nothing," he finally replies weakly.

"So you have not had a change of heart?" I ask him, putting my heart out on the line again and being fully aware that I am presenting him with another opportunity for him to stomp on it again. Man, I _must_ be a glutton for punishment.

Jacob stares at me for a long moment and for a moment I think that he is going to confess that he has had a change of heart that he wants to try to be with me. But then he begins shaking that beautiful head of his sadly, and my heart sinks down into my stomach. And I am left with the question, what am I waiting for?

I nod as if I expected that to be his response, even though inside I feel like every fiber of me is dying from my own foolishness. "A strong woman who recklessly throws away her strength, she is worse than a weak woman who has never had any strength to throw away," I mumble absentmindedly.

"What is that from?" Jacob frowns at me, concern etched on his handsome face and sprinkled in his dark eyes.

"Tess of the D'Urbervilles," I reply softly flushing at me saying that out loud when I thought I was merely thinking it. "It is one of my favorite quotes."

Those dark eyes lock onto my own and I stiffen when he unconsciously leans into me to reply, his closeness speaking a thousand volumes of what his words contradict. I want to be close to him in a way that I never have thought about being near any other man; it is like it is as easy as breathing when I am close to Jacob. The energy between our bodies making me feels…alive.

"I should go," he says making his voice void of emotion again and stepping away from me. I stare after his retreating back, stunned. And then a piece of what he said snaps within me like a puzzle.

"Jacob," I call out and I see his back tense up but he just keeps walking away until the anger is back in my veins and I stumble after him. I burst out of the doors into the cool November breeze and search for him, finally seeing his quick pace going across the street.

I sprint after him, bumping into various people who are on their way to class, until I am running across the street. I keep my eyes on him, not wanting to lose sight of him for a moment.

A car beeps their horn shrilly and my eyes widen as I realize that I never checked for oncoming traffic, I am about to be hit by a car. A blue pickup truck to be exact, my body freezes in shock becoming mirrored in the approaching windshield like a deer in the headlights. I try to move my legs but they are made of cement, I close my eyes and for some reason Jacob's laughing face jumps into my memory.

"Clary," I hear someone yell and wonder if I am already dead. Then I feel the crash and it is hot and full of solid force but not at all what I expected getting hit by a car would be like, instead it feels…shockingly familiar.

"Clary," a deep and husky voice whispers. Warm hands stroke my cheeks, brushing strains of hair out of my face and then warmth explodes all over my body as I am pulled into someone's lap.

I open my eyes and stare in shock at Jacob, who is holding me so gently and looks like he almost just had a heart attack. My eyes shut again, quickly, wanting to hold onto this moment but harboring the guilt of knowing that what I am doing is wrong.

"Clary, open your eyes. Damn it," Jacob's voice chokes out and the guilt spreads in my chest at his worry but confusion wraps around me at the same time. I am about to open my eyes again when he suddenly buries his face in my hair, his nose skimming over my temple and his soft lips brushing against the shell of my ear.

"Open. Your. Eyes, baby." My eyes flick open on command as his warm breath sends a shiver down my body, goodness, I feel it everywhere. Jacob holds onto me tightly, keeping his face buried in my hair and skimming his nose along my neck as he whispers my name.

I stare at him, wide-eyed and waiting for him to notice that I am awake. He finally pulls his face back to peer down at me and my heart nearly shatters at the tortured look on his breathtaking face. His dark eyes look down at me changing from instant relief, a flicker of concern mixed with something else, and then his eyes blaze almost black with anger.

I gasp and he pulls away from me, carefully setting me on my feet with his hands skimming over my waist and hips before jamming his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "What the hell were you thinking, Clary?"

Okay, so he was really pissed but then again if he had just stopped and talked with me this would have never happened. But then again, after the response he just gave me, I'm not sure if I want to point that fact out. "I needed to talk to you," I say as calmly as I can manage with my heavy breathing and pounding heart.

"Are you crazy?" He yells at me with his dark eyes wild, his hand jumps to run a hand through his tousled dark hair.

_Crazy for you_, the thought jumps into my head instantly and I practically gasp at its appearance as my heart pounds louder in my ears.

"I did not see the car," I say weakly and almost cringe when he stares at me in astonishment.

"Well that is for damn sure," Jacob mutters appalled. "You foolish, stubborn and reckless woman."

"Hey," I reply frowning clearly offended. "Maybe if you would have stopped instead of ignoring what I was trying to say then we would not be having this conversation."

"No," he declares in outrage. "We would not be having this conversation if you knew how to follow the basic laws of a pedestrian walking across the street—by the way, one of the number one rules? Look both ways before crossing the damn street, Clary!"

"I know," I whisper softly and shaking my head at my stupidity. When I look at Jacob again, his dark eyes seem to soften slightly at my words. "But you still should have stopped; I know that you heard me calling after you. Heck, practically the whole campus did."

Jacob shakes his head and peers down at me in bewilderment, "You really can never give it a rest. Can you?"

"No," I say stubbornly to him and fold my arms across my chest. "Now will you speak to me?"

His eyes widen to practically the size of saucers and he stares at me, open-mouthed. "Clary, you were almost just _hit_ by a damn _car_!" He makes gestures wildly, he looks like he wants to reach out and shake me. Good, maybe now he will understand how frustrating he is to me.

"Despite that fact," I say calmly not wishing to get in a heated argument over this when I badly need to ask him what I almost got ran over by said car in order to catch up to him. "What did you mean by—"

"Despite that fact!" He interrupts me and begins to pace back and forth in front of me, like a cornered animal trying to find the nearest escape or preparing to attack. He laughs but the sound is a hollow, sarcastic sound that causes a chill to run over me. "Do you have no respect for your own safety? Your own humanity, for god sakes Clary."

I shake my head, determined to say what I need to say. "Why did it bother you that I was close to Embry?"

Jacob stops and blinks at me, as if shocked by the sudden turn of events, and then my stomach drops as his expression turns impassive. "Nothing," he says slowly as if he has to convince himself of the fact. "It meant nothing, Clary."

"You are lying," I whisper staring straight into his dark eyes. I step close to him and press my hand against his shaking chest, we lock eyes and I frown when moments after my skin comes in contact with him he stops shaking. I feel his heartbeat slow, the warmth of his skin burning through his t-shirt and spreading from my hand and sweeping through my entire body.

"I—" Fear enters his beautiful eyes and I reach up with my other hand to gently touch his cheek, while my other hand rests comfortably over his heart. Like this, in this moment, I feel on top of the world—alive. "I can't."

My stomach drops as he pulls away from me again, leaving me feeling raw and unwanted but most of all I feel incredibly confused. "What do you mean 'you can't'?"

"I can't be with you, Clary. Alright, why won't you stop this? I am never going to change my mind," Jacob declares harshly. "I—I only think of you as a friend."

Oh. A friend. "I see," I whisper feeling the ultimate case of foolish. God, could you look anymore stupid then me right now? No. No, I do not believe anyone could. And then I have to ask—though mortifying—I know the question will burn away at me all night. "Why did you get mad at Embry if you only see me as a friend?"

Jacob pales under his tanned skin and he shakes his head, running a hand through his hair again before responding. "I do not have a problem with you being close to Embry," he confesses stoically.

_Liar_, my subconscious sneers the word at him and I frown.

"But you said it was 'unnerving' to see me that close to Embry," I accuse softly. "You can see why then I am quite confused because you say one thing and then your actions contradict you the next."

"I—"Jacob breaks off and ruffles his hair and then holds the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. "I do not want to be with you, Clary. Ever."

He glares at me and I stare at him blankly, I do not think I could call up another emotion on my part by this point. I feel so drained and he seems to realize this because regret flickers in his eyes for a moment before I nod, turn, and then begin to walk away from him.

I do not turn to look if he is watching me walk away from him though inside a part of me hopes that he is, and that he is lying so that he can feel just as dead inside as I do right now.

**So this chapter built more onto Clary's character and it was well…it was very personal to me but then again I believe a lot of this is personal so I was just wondering what everyone thought. Just let me know? Thank you.**


	17. Chapter 17 Oh Goodness

**I do not own **_**Twilight! **_**So thank you to CandisDrake and GaurdianAngel102310 for your wonderful reviews, I have decided to make this a lot more personal from now on because that was what I intended in the beginning but was a little hesitant. Thank you also to those who are following and favorited the story.**

**Clary's POV:**

I am in my Research Writing class when my phone vibrates loudly against my hip, the sensation startling me so that I drop my pencil and Dominic—who happens to be in my class—leans over to pick it up. I smile gratefully at him as the professor continues to talk about the paper we are going to begin writing, I half listen and discretely shut off my cell phone before the professor notices.

"I want you to pair up with another classmate, get to know your peers, and decide what subject you want to research but please no fluffy cloud stuff. I want this to be personal, you are not in high school anymore and I want you to prove it to me with this project."

Something personal… what could it be for me? I hate personal and I definitely do not want to reveal all my baggage to some stranger, I pray that the professor is not going to pair us up with random people.

_Clarissssah…_

I shake my head, no, this cannot be happening. The therapist that I once saw told me that I could go for years without thinking about what happened and then out of nowhere it could all come rushing back at an overwhelming force. _Bam_, like a snapping your fingers but why does it have to be now? No, it is not happening the night terror was just a fluke—I got took control of them years ago.

_Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune...Pluto _

"Clary." A hand touches my shoulder gently and I jump, staring at the source with wild eyes until I realize it is just Dominic and I can relax.

"Dominic," I whisper and smile feebly into his eager green eyes. _Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto. _

"Would you want to be my partner for the project?" He looks like he wants to say more but he just runs a hand through his curly dark hair, the action causing an immediate ache in my heart at the thought of yesterday. I look down at my hands. Jacob…

I shake my head to clear my head and glance back up at Dominic, who has a hurt and uneasy expression on his face. The project, crap, he must have thought I meant that I did not want to be partners with him. "Yes, sorry, I am just zoning out. I would love to be partners with you Dom," I say and force a smile on my face.

"Oh, alright. Great!" Dominic beams at me and I stare at him, wondering what he sees in me and if he is the one I should try and move on with. Zach had told me a while ago that Dominic had had a crush on me but I never really believed it but now maybe I should think about asking him to go out for coffee or something. Despite the fact that I hate coffee but they do have tea at the coffee house too, maybe it would not be so bad to be around someone who actually appreciates your company.

But he is one of Zach's brothers… I mentally shake myself of these thoughts, this insane internal banter. Who says I need to throw myself into another relationship right now? As if I needed to be dependent on anything in my life before, I do not need anyone. Had I not decided that so many years ago?

"So when would you want to meet up to work on it? What topic would you want to pick?" Dominic is practically bouncing with joy and he has not stopped grinning at me.

"Umm, it has to be personal so I think maybe we can write up a few ideas and then compare notes at the library. Maybe like tomorrow if you are free? I have to work until 7ish and then I have a meeting for my organization at 8:30PM but I should be able to meet up with you after at around 9ish." I estimate the time that I will have to shower and get ready, go to my meeting, and then head over to the library.

"Are you sure that is enough time for you?" Concern fills his eyes and turns down the corners of his mouth, I resist the urge to reach out and quirk the corners back up into the smile that is so familiar to me.

"Ab-so-lute-ly," I smile at him and give him a thumbs up before we make move to take separate paths to our next class.

"So 9ish?" His voice is hopeful and it causes my stomach to churn uneasily, Dominic is sweet and cute…and smart.

"9ish," I agree with nod and give him a wave as we separate.

"Oh, Clary!" His voice calls out from behind me and I turn, raising an eyebrow and waiting for what he intended to say. "You look stunning as usual today." My face heats up as I shake my head at him, disbelief and embarrassment flowing through me as people passing by smile at us and a few guys snicker.

"Go to class, Dominic." I shake my head again and walk away smiling slightly, my face flushed from the cold and self-consciousness. "Goofball," I mutter under my breath.

Suddenly I remember that my phone had vibrated during class and I quickly power it on, wondering who it could have been and hoping it is not some emergency with Keally.

I see the number and a voicemail, my stomach dropping. What does she need now? Calling my voicemail I listen carefully, taking calm and controlled breaths.

"Hey Clarissa, it's your mom." I roll my eyes, it is her classic statement at the start of every message that she leaves me. _Yes mother, I know your voice._ "I was just calling to see how you were doing, so just give me a call back I am particularly ill today so you will be able to reach me anytime." The message clicks off and is asking if I want to save or delete it, I hit erase impulsively.

"_Are you home from work again, Claire? Jesus, you are going to get fired if you keep this up. How are we supposed to pay the bills now that I got laid off from my job at the factory?" My father cracks open another beer as he clicks on the television, I am reading a book on the couch._

"_I am sick, Darik, I could barely hold down my toast this morning but you would not care about that now would you?"_

"_I could leave you know then what would do, Claire?" His voice is rising and my mother begins crying. I slam my book shut, angry at him always pouncing on my mother when he has made her so weak. _

"_You want to leave? Go, there is the door." I gesture wildly in the direction of the kitchen, anger burning brightly in my heart. He stares at my outburst, the color draining from his face and then he takes a stumbling step towards me._

"_Maybe I should, everyone else in my family has done that, it is practically a tradition." He grits his teeth, drains the remainder of his beer, and throws the empty can at the table._

"_You make your own future," I say shaking my head. "You do not have to be like the rest of your family, you are what you make yourself to be." I sure as hell will not be like any of you, I add silently in my head._

"_What the fuck do you know about making your own future, Clarissa? All you do is keep your nose in a damn book all day," he hisses and pulls out a package of pills. He sits down on the couch and begins crushing the pills up before snorting them, I look away in disgust._

_Grabbing my novel, I place it in my bag and pour my mother another glass of ginger ale before leaving for work. I set the cold glass on the side table beside my mother and walk back to the kitchen and open the door._

"_Where the do you think you are going, Clarissa?" His voice is calm in his high but I know the attitude is short-lived, that the pills are not for the pain in his back but for his addiction._

"_Work," I call loudly, not looking at him. "Someone has to pay the bills."_

I snap out of the memory, shaking my head and taking a deep breath before calling my mother. She picks up after two rings.

"Clarissa, did you get my message?" _No, mother. _"How are you?"

"Yes," I reply quietly and wait for her to get to the point. "And I am doing fine. How are you? Are you feeling any better?"

"Oh no, I am still having these stomach pains and Bonny at work was being particularly nasty when I called in sick today." _Probably because she needs a dependable adult, rather than dealing with an adult that acts worse than an adolescent child._ "But I explained everything to her and I think she understands that I might have to go to the emergency room today."

"Oh," I reply shortly because honestly I have never known what to say to things like this with her. "How is John?"

"Oh he is amazing, Clarissa, you know your father never took me out to dinner so much. If ever," I stiffen at the mention of my father. It was good riddance when the two of them ended the marriage, with him cheating on her, but I like to pretend that I did not have a father.

"Yeah," I mumble softly. "I remember." _You both never took my sister and out to dinner, or had a constant food source in the house but hey whatever._

"But you see, I kind of need to pay my water bill and I have not been getting very many hours at the store recently so I was wondering if I could borrow like two hundred dollars off of you. At least until I get paid next week," she says the words quickly and I look down at the phone for a moment and sigh.

"Yes," I articulate stoically. "But you have to remember to pay me back because I need the money for school, mother."

"I know, honey."

No you do not know mother because if you knew you would get a real job instead of begin a near fifty woman who settles for working at a Rite Aid as a cashier. I make more money working than you do, go to my classes; I am involved in a student organization, and support you and myself.

"Alright, I will send the money to you now so it should be there in the next couple of days." I stare at the ground wondering when I will ever lead a free life, wondering if I will always be tied to my past and if I will be truly, constantly happy.

"Okay. I love you, Clarissa." I stiffen at her words, growing up my family just did not handle affection but since she has been with John she has been so huggy and full of I love you's.

"Love you too, mother."

I go into my next few classes, going through the motions, until my classes are finished for the day and I head to the dining hall to eat. The thought of food causes my stomach to turn round and round in objection but I force myself to sit and eat mashed potatoes, my comfort food.

"Hey," I peer up at the familiar voice but my mind feels like it is still suspending somewhere far away. Embry shifts from foot-to-foot and I nod politely at him, unsure of where our friendship is at this point.

"Hey Embry," I reply and bite my lip as I hear a cackle from the other side of the room. Glancing over I see a bunch of sorority girls looking over at us, smirking with their superficial faces and giggling from behind manicured hands. My hands curl into fists and look away, Embry turns around and stares at them shoots them a look of disgust and they all gap at him.

"Mind if I join you?" He smiles that Embry smile.

"Not at all," I reply nervously. "It is a free country after all."

He cocks his head at my words and smiles widely at me but then frowns when he sees how straight faced I still am. "Are you okay?"

"I could ask you the same thing," I say to my potatoes and scoop up a bite and sigh. "Embry, what exactly happened yesterday?"

"Happened yesterday," he mumbles as he picks up a few French fries and chews them thoughtfully before continuing but avoiding my eyes. "I am not sure what you mean, Miss Knight."

I sigh again and set down my fork. "You ran like a bat out of hell out of Biology yesterday even when I was trying to call after you." _A tendency you Reservation guys seem to have a knack for. _I frown and take a sip of my water, carefully not looking at Embry.

"Yeah," Embry sighs sadly and I look up at his frowning face and dejected eyes. "I'm really sorry, Clary. I was being stupid. I thought that Jake—"Embry looks away and picks up his drink as if he needs something to do with his hands because he accidently said too much.

"Thought that Jacob what?" I press the issue seriously and frown at him, waiting for my answer. He squirms in his seat under my intense gaze and I look away in frustration because he is clearly not going to answer me.

"Are you going home for Thanksgiving?" I blink in surprise at Embry's question, Thanksgiving? Is that coming up already? Either way I shake my head at him quickly. No, no way, I am going to stay here for the holidays. For every dang holiday that I can.

"No?" His voice is surprised and I smile tightly at him in response. "Where are you planning on eating dinner then?"

I laugh at his thought of food being the issue of me not going home for Thanksgiving. "I will probably just stay here and work, unless Keally gets it into her head to have me over for dinner."

For some reason at the mention of Keally, Embry's whole body tenses and I furrow my brow at him wondering what on earth I just said to make this man look like I just stabbed him with my fork.

"Come eat dinner with us in La Push," he bursts out suddenly and I think it even surprised him because he blinks with his mouth agape. And then he shakes his head and looks more determined, staring me directly in the eyes. "Please, it would be great. Fun."

"Um," I stutter out. I stare at him, frozen in shock at his offer until I manage to speak again. "Are you sure that that is a wise decision?" My mind screams the answer, _NOOO_!

Embry smiles widely, the picture of ease on his handsome face but in his eyes I read the faint flicker of uncertainty. "Absolutely, we would be glad to have you there."

"I do not want to oppose on anything…" I trail off and Embry just keeps grinning at me and claps a hand on my shoulder, warmth enveloping my body instantly.

_Wait we_?

"Wait what did you mean by '_we_ would be glad to have you there'?" I ask him uneasily. I am hoping, praying, that he is talking about him and his family but in my gut I feel it is something more.

"The pack—"Embry begins and then his eyes widen as if he cannot believe he just was about to confess something. "Err…I mean the pack of Quileute's, we are like a Tribe family at the Reservation."

"Oh," I say faintly. So that means there will be a lot of people there, like _a lot _of people that I do not know. "So this is a very big…social gathering, that kind of thing?"

"Exactly," he replies easily as if he does not have a care in the world. "So will you come?" Embry looks so eager and like he really wants me to go, to spend time with him and his family…but I do not even know him that well. Is this a good idea?

"Sure," I agree stunned. "I will go."

"Are you sure?" Embry asks with a furrowed brow. "Because you are allowed to say no if you want, I am not going to put it against you or anything. And if you want I can always drive you right back if you are feeling uncomfortable."

My face breaks out into a big smile as he continues to ramble and soon we are both laughing. "Thank you, Embry. Yes. Yes, I would love to go share Thanksgiving with you and your family."

Embry rises from his chair and rushes over to me, wrapping me in a big bear hug and I giggle as my feet lift off the ground. "Embry, you big oaf, put me down." Everyone in the dining hall is staring but I do not care because I am not going home, and for once I will not be miserable on a holiday. I have faith in my new friends and maybe that happiness is going to be closer within my reach.

Late that night I get ready for bed, dancing around the room with Keally and living in the moment for once. It is only when I am settling down to sleep when I remember that Jacob is also from the Reservation, that he is part of the Quileute Tribe people or whatever, and my heart begins to freak out because I just agreed to spend the holidays there. And in agreeing to spend it with Embry I am most likely agreeing to spend it with Quill, Jacob, and anyone else from La Push.

"Oh, god." I bury my head into my pillow because all of this is to happen in just two short days.

**Let me know what you think?**


	18. Chapter 18 Party of One Plus One

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

**Thank you to CandisDrake, YAOIHONEYbee1998, and twin268 for the wonderful reviews, they mean a lot and I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible. Thank you also to those who are following and favorited the story.**

**Clary's POV:**

"Athena, come here honey." I pat my chest and the big mastiff puts her paws up on me, licking my face. "Yucko! No puppy kisses, girl." I laugh and scratch the dog behind her ears before checking the time, chasing Athena around the play yard until she allows me to clip the leash on her, and then taking her back into the shelter.

"Hey Clary!" I turn around at the sound of my name and keep a firm hold on Athena because she is still a little skittish around people she is not familiar with. Dominic runs down to me in nothing but jeans, a windbreaker, and sneakers. God, what is it with boys and having to prove that they can withstand the cold?

I roll my eyes at him, grinning. "Don't you have a real jacket, Dominic? It is freezing out here!" My statement is carried away by the howling wind as if to further prove my point that it is not summertime anymore.

Dominic holds out his hands and laughs, like saying 'what can you do'. I shake my head at him, smiling at his ridiculousness. "I thought I would walk you back after you get done working. You said seven, right?"

"Yeah, thank you." I feel so awkward, why do I feel so awkward? It is just Dominic, we had sat on the couch at Zach's lots of times just talking and laughing. Dominic takes another couple steps closer, his cheeks flushed from windburn and his dark, curly hair tousled.

Suddenly, Athena starts growling and jerking in my firm grim. "Athena," I warn and look down at her quickly to see her in a protective crouch in front of me. "Dominic, would you mind waiting for a minute while I take her in? She is kind of uneasy around other people and needs more socializing."

"Sure," he replies uneasily with his eyes locked on Athena who is tensed up and growling at him.

I pull on her leash gently, trying not to alarm her as another howl of wind slaps me across the face. "Come on baby girl," I say gently to her and run my hand over the top of her head. Athena looks at me for a long moment, glances at Dominic, and then follows me while I tug on her leash for her to come with me.

"What was that about, Athena?" I whisper to her when I lead her into her kennel, and I climb in with her and slide the door shut to settle her down. Her body is still very tense so I grab her an extra blanket and wrap it around her, rubbing her shoulders until she lies down on her fresh bedding. I scratch behind her ears and she licks my face. "Ewwy, no puppy kisses." I laugh, fill up her water dish, and push her food dish closer to her.

After punching out my timecard I walk outside and Dominic is still waiting where I left him. "You know, you could have come inside, I just had to put Athena down for the night and she is still a bit skittish when it comes to strangers because she was a stray. She was so thin when she came in and so scared," I whisper remembering with a shudder.

"Scared?" Dominic looks at me with a raised eyebrow, frowning.

"Yeah, she would not come out from the back of her kennel and when anyone walked near it she just kept growling but we have been working with her and she has been making such progress. The veterinarian said she thinks she was beaten and neglected because she came in with all these cuts and bites, and she was very malnourished, but she has gotten so good now."

"Yeah," Dominic says unconvinced. "Good. So do you like working there a lot?"

"Hey now, she has! She just needs some work with other people, non-kennel workers but she is such a sweetheart." I glower at him playfully and he laughs.

"Okay, okay!" He puts his hands up in mock surrender. "I am sure she has made tons of progress."

I smile a small smile and peer up into his green eyes that are so attentive even when I look like this, such a mess in my shelter clothes. "And yes, to answer your question, I do love working here. A lot," I say dreamily thinking about all the animals that I have helped since I began volunteering and then working here.

We walk across the road and see an oncoming truck approaching fast; Dominic grabs my hand and starts running until we are safely on the other side. Panting I think about how reckless I have been lately, almost getting hit by another car in the same week. I shake my head as the wind picks up, a shiver running through my body but I am not sure it is because of the cold or the fact that when I glance up Dominic's face is close to my own. We stare at each other, his hand still wrapped around mine and he leans forward but I pull away.

"Um, we should go before we miss the bus." I have never been so thankful for the cold wind because my face is on fire with blushing right now. Dominic walks quietly behind me until we make it to the bus stop.

"Dominic," I begin and bite my lip trying to think of how to explain myself, how I am feeling. "I—"

"No, Clary, do not think about this yet. Alright? I like you, that is no secret but it should not have happened like this. Just…think about it, give yourself a chance to think about it and tell me. This does not have to be rushed, give yourself as much time as you need but do not ever feel pressured by me. Please," he says and his face is so serious that I am shocked by how mature and uncharacteristic he looks with his green eyes soft and his jaw firm.

"Alright," I whisper and look down at my feet as another bout of wind chills my body, and I shiver again from the cold. Dominic stares at me, green eyes conflicting in some internal banter, until he steps forward and wraps his arm around me.

"Dominic, I—"I begin to protest but then a delicious warmth spreads through me. How is it possible for him to be that warm with only a windbreaker on? A windbreaker! I have mountains of layers on with my under-armor, hat, gloves, and shelter clothes. And then I remember my shelter clothes, I cringe as he presses me closer to his warmth. "Dom, your jacket, I do not want to get it dirty. I am a—"

"A mess?" Dominic asks with a smirk and then laughs at my offended expression. "Clary, you could be wearing a trash bag, covered in mud and pudding, and I would think you looked beautiful."

My heart jumps at his kind words but it is just not the same as…I shake my head at the thought of him, I know Dominic so much better but why is it Jacob that my thoughts always return to.

"Pudding?" I ask the question in a teasing tone, smirking up at him.

"Hey, I like pudding, especially vanilla."

"They never do have it at restaurants with buffets," I reply thinking how weird this conversation has turned and how easy it was to get back into the normal routine of things with Dominic.

"Exactly!" His eyes sparkle with excitement and he grins widely.

"I like vanilla pudding too," I decide and return his smile.

The bus picks us up and I stare out the window, trying to think about what it is that I want and letting my mind wonder until I have to pull the chord that allows me to get off. "See you at 9ish?"

Dominic looks at me eager as ever and smiles, nodding. "9ish, make sure to bring your notes for the project."

I nod and get off the bus, waving to Dom one last time before walking to my room. After showering and getting ready, I walk to my meeting and before I know it I am on my way to the library to meet up with Dom again.

However, when I walk into the library I see Zach waiting where Dom said he would be waiting and my stomach clenches as I frown at him. "Where is Dom?" I try to keep my voice calm and civil.

"He has...other business to attend to," Zach says smugly and he cracks his knuckles. My heart twists in anger and fear for Dominic, and I stare at Zach wondering what it was I ever saw in him for those three years.

"What the heck did you do?"

"Nothing," he replies simply with his blue eyes darkening. "Just put him in his place, I told him to stay away from you before but apparently he did not listen."

"I am not your damn property, Zachary." I glare at him and his eyes narrow at my outburst. "I never was. Dominic and I have a project to work on for class you idiot, so we are supposed to meet up together. Not that that is any of _your_ business."

"I want you back, Clary, we belong together." He completely ignores what I said and I press my lips together and take a deep breath before I decide to hit him.

"I do not ever want to get back to together with you," I say firmly and shake my head. Unbelievable. "Ever."

"You don't mean that, babe." He steps towards me, reaching out to touch me but I back away from him shaking my head.

"I have never meant anything so much in my life. Now why don't you go find one of those girls that you always talked about clawing at your door while I had the _privilege _to be with you?" He steps towards me quickly, his body trembling in anger and I frown up at him.

"You. Are. Mine. Clary," Zach says and grabs my shoulders with his overly warm hands. Fear zips through me but I do all that I can to keep the emotion out of my face, instead I glare up at him in preparation to start into him angrily.

"I am not anyone's," I hiss at him as his hands tighten on my arms when I try to break his hold. "And I am sure as hell not you—"

He smashes his mouth on mine, hot and demanding, and as he pushes his tongue into my mouth it all just feels so wrong. I push myself away from him with all of the strength I have and he gives me a sloppy, arrogant grin. I slap him across the face, all too eager to wipe that look off his face.

"Stay the hell away from me," I tell him through gritted teeth and I turn to walk out of the library but he grabs my arm and pulls me back to him. "Do not touch me," I yell at him and gain everyone's attention that happens to be walking by.

Zach's whole body trembles in quiet rage and his eyes darken to navy but I stand my ground, yanking my arm away from his grasp. I fall backwards and my back slams into hard, hot flesh. The person grabs my elbows to steady me; the feeling is so comforting that I lean into their broad chest feeling safe. I peer up at the source of such an overwhelming emotion and find Jacob staring Zach down in irritation. Of course it had to be him; I let out a sigh and close my eyes in frustration.

"You should probably go, Zach." Jacob's voice is calm and controlled while Zach clenches his hands into fists and begins shaking in a violent rage that screams danger.

Zach says nothing. He just keeps staring at me, taking in the way I am leaning against Jacob for support, while his eyes darken another shade—to practically midnight. I pull away from Jacob but he holds on to my elbows in a gentle but firm hold until I look up at him expectantly, frowning. He lets go of me immediately and I step away from the both of them, distancing myself because I am not about to be the source of some weird pissing contest.

"Leave me alone, Zachary." There is an edge to my voice that hints towards, _or else_, and I glare at both of them. Jacob looks at me alarmed and a little hurt but he knows why I am mad at him, or else I hope he gets why. "And Dom and I need to work on our project so stop being a butthead and let him live his life."

I walk out of the library, shaking my head in anger and confusion but this is clearly not the first time these emotions have been surfacing. The nerve! Of both of them!

I get back to my dorm and send a message to Dominic suggesting we meet after break, which starts after classes are done tomorrow I realize with a nervous, sickening feeling. _Should I still go?_

"Yes," I decide finally and pull out my suitcase to begin packing my clothes because I know I will not have time to tomorrow after my classes. Keally walks in while I am running around the apartment and throwing things into my suitcase.

"Whoa," she comments with her eyes widening at me and she frowns down at me from my seat on the floor. "Where are you going so quickly?"

"Thanksgiving," I grunt out in frustration and she smiles sadly down at me. "Spending it with the fam?"

"Nope," I reply and throw another sweater into my suitcase after folding it neatly. I sigh and look up at her surprised face, which is creased in concern. "Embry invited me to spend the holidays with him and his family in La Push."

"Wait," she says slowly as she processes my words that I said in one breathe, quickly. "What?!" I cringe at her high-pitched cry and look up at her pacing back and forth, glancing at me with a wild look in her eyes.

"Embry invited me to spend Thanksgiving with him and his family, well, with a lot of people actually but…"

"Embry…who is he again?" Her eyes narrow at me and I squirm uncomfortably under her intense gaze and where this conversation is leading.

"A friend of mine and a friend of Quill's…" I trail off as her eyes practically bug out of her face.

"And a friend of Black's too, I take it?" Her voice is disapproving and I smile shamefully up at her but I was not really going for Jacob's company, I was going because Embry offered and Embry is my friend. That is the only reason. God, I am such a liar, even to myself.

"He might be there, or he might not, Embry just said they have a social gathering thing at the Reservation. I believe he called them the umm—oh yeah—the Quileute Tribe."

"The Quileute Tribe," she cries out, appalled. I raise my eyebrow at her distressed look, her hands grasping her blonde wavy locks at the news, and then her peony mouth purses and she yanks open her closet door quickly. I stare at her, stunned, when she begins throwing her designer clothes into her suitcase.

"What are you doing?" I continue staring at her like she is a mental patient, uneasily.

"I am packing," she calls out from the depths of her closet in a forced calm that is a little scary because Keally is hardly ever calm.

"For you to go home," I state but it was supposed to come out more like a question. "Right?"

"Nope," she replies and fists her hair into a high pony-tail but she still does not turn to look at me.

"Oh?"

Finally, Keally pops out of her closet and smiles at me—the grin lighting up her face in a false innocence. "I am coming with you," she says cheerfully.

My eyes must have widened alarmingly because Keally starts giggling. "Come on, it will be fun, and I am sure the mut—I mean they will not mind. You did say this Embry person said that the whole thing would be like a social gathering."

"Right," I say slowly and frown at how strange she is begin. Then I shake my head, smiling, when is Keally ever _not_ strange. "I will text Embry and let him know that there will be an addition to our party of one, or at least ask if he minds so it is not rude or anything."

"Sounds hunky-dory," Keally replies with a weird look in her eyes. If I did not know any better I would say it was fear, but what did Keally have to be afraid of? It was just a simple holiday, right?

**Tell me what you think? =]**


	19. Chapter 19 Mercury

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

**Warning: Please do not read the italicized part if you are not comfortable with reading about abuse, it is rated M for a reason and the words I wrote are very personal to me. Thank you.**

**Thank you to all of you that reviewed and a special thank you to Tinkerbell-Lover-Ms-Write-It for helping me find the strength and courage, she is a very talented writer and you should definitely check out the stories that she has written =]**

_Smoke billows out from underneath the door of my room, my eyes watering as I try to kick open my door and finally it opens and I see my sister coming out of her room. _

"_Mommy!" I choke on the words while the smoke burns my throat; my sister grabs my arm and drags me down the stairs where my mother and father sleep. "Where is mommy?" I cough and my sister just keeps dragging me down the hall, her hold firm and full of purpose for a fifteen-year-old. _

_The flames cover the entire kitchen but my sister steers us to my parent's room and we find my mother asleep, I remember daddy is on a fishing trip. "Mom," my sister yells out until my mother raises her head from beneath her fortress of pillows and blankets. _

_Mommy's eyes glance around and tears spring into her eyes. "Oh god, the French fries and the deep fryer, I thought it was shut off." She jumps out of bed and I stand shaking as smoke covers the room, closing in around us in a suffocating death chamber. _

_I cannot breathe. Mommy, I cannot breathe._

_My sister grabs my hand and we run into the hallway and out of the apartment until we are outside, I am only in shorts and a baggy t-shirt that used to be my sister's—the shorts are rolled many times to fit my chicken legs. Chicken legs… that is what daddy calls them. Cluck, cluck._

_We make it across the street just when the widows shatter; flames climb out of the window and throw smoke into the air that reminds me of the color of my kitty's black fur against the night sky. Mia—my kitty, who curls up with me at night and keeps me company while mommy and daddy are fighting._

"_Mia!" I begin running towards the burning apartment but before I can cross the street my sister grabs me from around the waist, holding me back as tears stream down my face. "But my kitty, she is still in there!"_

"_For god sake, Clarissa, forget the cat." My mother shakes her head at me and begins sobbing as she stares at the flames and sirens blare in the distance, and then she gets up and walks over to a neighbor's house._

_It is the house of one of the girls that I play with; I stare at the flames as my sister tugs on my hand to follow after my mother and her. "What are we going to do now, Feather?" I blink at my sister, Heather. "Is daddy going to be mad?"_

_My sister stares down at me, her curly hair wild and her glasses askew from our mad rush outside. "No," she says softly not looking at me. "He will understand." But even I do not believe her…_

_The scene jumps and I am sitting in the living room, staring at wresting on the television and someone moves in the seat beside me on the couch. He is closer to me now, his leg brushing against mine…my chicken legs. He smells of icky cigarettes._

"_Clarissa, do you just want one egg sandwich?" The call comes from the kitchen and I stand up to walk to the kitchen and answer her directly but the person next to me pushes me back down onto the couch. I am sitting next to him again, his leg brushing against my leg…my chicken legs. _

"_Clarissa?" The voice from the kitchen calls again, waiting._

"_Yes Aunt Salad," I call softly to her—my mother's best friend and my babysitter. I stare at the television again and he moves closer to me, his hand skimming my leg. My chicken legs, I can feel his hand through my jeans sinking into my skin until my flesh crawls._

_I turn to him in confusion, what is happening? This does not feel right, I want to call out for Aunt Salad but I just cannot seem to muster up my breath. I want to cry. Stop…please stop, I do not understand. I shut my eyes, tightly._

_He leans over, his breath in my ear causing me to tremble and I want so badly to cry. "Eyes open, Clarisssahh."_

_My eyes snap open and I stare at him, but he is no longer there. Instead the black wolf with silver eyes is growling beside me and I do not have time to cry out before he sinks his teeth into my left shoulder._

**Clary's POV:**

My chest heaves and I sit upright, shaking and taking in desperate breathes. _Well, at least there was no Taylor Swift this time_, I think groggily and get out of bed. I ignore the tingling sensation in my shoulder, too many times I have checked only to find it was all just a dream. It was just a dream, just a dream…

I close my eyes and open them up again, staring at myself in the mirror with my hands braced on the sides of the sink. I turn on the faucet, splashing my face with water, but the smell of smoke and cigarettes still lingers. I want to cry, to feel something so maybe my memories will give it a rest and repent but my eyes are dry as I stare intently at my reflection.

Nothing, not one tear breaks through and I want to scream in frustration because the feeling of his leg brushing against mine still makes my skin crawl. _Aunt Salad…_ I shake head and close my eyes, tightly. "Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune…Pluto." I squeeze my eyes tighter. "Pluto, Neptune, Uranus, Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, Earth, Venus, Mercury."

I repeat my mantra over again, and then reverse it. I open my eyes, half of me expecting to see the black wolf behind me as I gaze into the mirror. Thankfully it is not and I place a hand over my heart, feeling the beats begin to slow to normal but the pain still clenches with an iron grip.

I walk over to my desk and check my phone, finding a message from Embry waiting for me.

_Yeah. That should be find that your friend joins in on the fun as long as you are comfortable that is what really matters, just let us know when you and Keally get here and if you run into any problems finding La Push, please, do not hesitate to call. Cannot wait to see you :)_

I glance at the clock and head to the bathroom for a quick shower before I have to head to my 8:00AM class, attempt to wash away all of the memories with shampoo, conditioner and soap.

Classes that day go by quickly and before I know it we are hauling our suitcases into the back of Keally's car. "God, what did you put in here Keally?" I huff out a breath as I ease her bag beside mine. "A dead body? This thing weighs a ton," I mumble under my breath.

Keally flips though the songs on her iPod while she is pulling onto the road. "You have that address that Embry gave you, right?"

"Nooo," I say flatly and widen my eyes in emphasis. I smirk when she playfully scowls at me and rolls her eyes.

"Okay, Miss Cranky Pants, just put the address in here and we can let all that sass take a nap while we are on the road." She holds the GPS out to me and I stare at it like she is trying to hand me a live, poisonous snake.

"Um…that is not a very good idea Keal," I proclaim with a frown. "Seriously."

Keally peers over at me, red lips quirking into a mischievous smile, and walks the GPS in front of me while keeping her eyes on the road. "Come on, Claryyyy. Help me, I am lost little appliance and I do not know where I am going," she says in a childish voice with a faint French accent.

"French really?" I laugh at her poor attempt and wave her off.

"You have something against France? Oh! British then," she declares with a wide grin. "Top of the morning to ya, lass, would you mind spotting me a bit of directions?" She waves the GPS at me again, while I wince at yet another poor attempt and burst out laughing.

"First, Keal, the beginning of that was more Scottish than English…" I shake my head smiling at her, and then I reach over and accept the device carefully. "Just so you know you are probably making a big mistake handing me this thing, you know how technology rebels against me. Consider yourself warned."

Keally rolls her eyes and laughs. "However true that statement is we shall just cross our fingers and hope for the best," she says and grins back at my scowl. "Besides I think that it is both cute and entertaining when I watch you struggle over making the technology work, you act like you are holding a piranha."

"Is that so now?" I grumble. "Well, I am glad you get enjoyment over my misfortune."

"Oh come on, Clary," she says teasing. "Look at you right now, you are holding the GPS the way an expert analyses disabling a ticking-time bomb."

I glance down at the object that is indeed held at arm's length as I type in the address and then smirk at Keally. "That is only because it most likely is, at least in my hands."

I struggle when it beeps at me but then finally accepts my request on the third try; shaking my head I shoot her a pointed look. She was warned.

"We will just have to see how it all goes now won't we?" She looks over at me and I think she is making more implications then the GPS; I pointedly turn my head and ignore her by staring out the window. Hoping she would take the hint that I do not want to talk about boys or my messed up feelings, that every time I picture a guy I see the one guy that made it very clear that he did not want me.

"So do you like this Embry person?" So much for hoping we don't have this conversation…no dice.

"Embry?" I frown at her, considering my feelings for him but they have only ever amounted to friendship. "No, Embry and I are just friends."

"Friends," Keally says mimics me and shoots me a "yeah right" look. "Surrrre."

"I am serious Keally," I object to her insinuations and frown at her. "I have never felt for Embry…in that kind of way, we are just friends."

"Relax Clary," Keally says easily and looks at me, eyes dancing with amusement. "I was just teasing."

I stare out the window again and my mind wonders to Dominic, and his confession and offer that I am supposed to consider. "Dominic likes me," I blurt out and then blink as if the words are surreal to me.

"Well, everyone knew that." Keally smiles at me and rolls her eyes at my incredulous expression. "Well, everyone but you apparently; I thought Zach told you that Dominic had a thing for you?" Keally's expression darkens at the mention of Zach, speaking his name like she takes something bitter.

"He did but…" I trail off, unsure what exactly to say. But I thought Zach was just messing with me, that he was not being serious or was misinformed.

"But you didn't believe him," she finishes for me and I nod at her. _How did she always read me like a book? _"So did lover boy gush out his feelings finally, or did you just find out?"

"We kind of almost kissed after almost getting hit by a car yesterday," I say and then raise my eyebrows when Keally stares at me wide-eyed. "He came to walk me home from the shelter."

"Oh, yes, the shelter—bringing young hearts together through bathing adorable puppies, walking dogs, and holding cuddly kittens." She smiles at me, red lips contrasting shockingly with her pale skin and blonde hair that is bound in an elegant-looking French braid.

"You do realize that there is more to it than that, right?" I stare at her with an incredulous expression. "I mean you have not forgotten how I look after I get home and have to wash all the shelter off of me?"

She giggles, the delicate sound ringing like the soft tinkling of bells. "Nooo, I can never forget you coming in like that…looking like Cinderella after the clock struck midnight."

"Yeah, yeah." I wave my hand at her and roll my eyes. "I get it, I am a _lovely _sight to encounter with poop, slobber, hair and paw prints on me."

"I thought you were calling it all mud," she teases me.

"That is exactly what I meant, thank you for reminding me Keal." I roll my eyes again at her. "Everything that gets on me at the shelter is just mud," I state firmly and then we both start laughing.

"But seriously, what did you say to him? Did you pull away before you guys did the deed?"

"The deed?" I look at her wide-eyed and blushing.

"Before you kissed! Jeez, someone's mind went straight into the gutter." She laughs as my blush deepens. "Tell me, tell me. Pleaassse?"

"I pulled away," I tell her and then explain to her what happened afterwards.

"And are you?" She asks quietly after I finish with the long story that lead up to me storming out of the library.

"Am I what?"

"Are you thinking about being with Dominic?" Keally asks the question softly, trying not to push me into anything I do not want.

"He is a great guy, he is really sweet and handsome and smart—"

"But?" Keally interrupts, delicately rising one eyebrow at me in question as she glances at the road. Why can't I look that effortlessly beautiful?

"But I do not think I look at him with anything more than friendship Keally, or maybe it is just me because I do not look at anyone with that kind of interest excep—" I break off, realizing what I was just about to confess and peer out the window again while my face heats up.

"Black," Keally says bitterly. "Except Jacob-freaking-Black that is what you were going to say wasn't it?" _How does she always guess these things_? The emotions that I do not even want my heart to feel, the ones my mind constantly conflict with.

I sigh but do not bother to answer her, it was more a rhetorical question anyways, and truthfully I am not sure anymore why I agreed to go on this trip that puts me in the possibility of the constant presence of Jacob.

"You really like him, don't you?"

_No, well, maybe a little._ "I wish I could say I didn't," I confess and press my lips together in a firm line. I will not sit here and feel sorry for myself, pouting around like an insolent child because some man does not want me.

Keally smiles sadly at me and reaches over to squeeze my hand gently, reassuringly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head, slow and firmly. _I do not even want to think about it_.

"Are you sure? It might help," she suggests with her eyes concentrating on a sharp curve in the road.

_No_. But I am not sure if the denial was to if I was sure, or to the suggestion that talking about it might help. "It is just…" I trail off, biting my lip at my own confusion and uncertainty.

"Just?" Keally glances over at me, eyes anxious at whatever my expression appears to be.

"This is going to sound crazy," I say biting my lip and then I take a deep breath before beginning to explain myself. "But every time that I am around Jacob, I feel…whole."

"Whole," Keally murmurs quietly.

"I know," I admit glancing over at her anxiously. "I know how it sounds, crazy and stupid and foolish—"

"Clary," Keally interrupts shaking her head. "Nothing you feel is stupid or foolish, no matter how 'crazy' they seem. Now tell me more about what you are feeling, please."

I take another deep breath and then exhale through my nose. "When I am around him I feel like I can be anything, do anything, and my heart—"I bite my lip, hesitant and nervous, as embarrassment crawls up my neck. "My heart beats so quickly and wildly that I feel in every part of my body, I feel…alive."

"Alive," Keally whispers and bites her lip in thought, smudging her lipstick. "You are alive—you are living and breathing every day, sweetie."

"I know but when I am around him, it feels like I haven't been living the way I wanted…no, that doesn't sound right." I groan, I shake my head, and bury my face in my hands in my hands because I am getting so frustrated with myself. I feel so foolish for feeling this way but I cannot help it, cannot even put it into words apparently, and the worst is that Jacob doesn't even feel the same.

"Clary," Keally says worriedly and I feel the car swerve as she reaches out and I feel her intense gaze on me. "Clary, look at me."

I peek out from between my fingers at her, heat radiating in my hands from my blushing. She gives me a pointed look and I let my hands fall the rest of the way, resting in my lap. "Do not ever be afraid of how you feel," she says seriously and then smiles at me with her blue eyes darkening with concern.

I wanly give her a half-smile, biting my lip nervously. "I suppose you are right, as always Keal, but what am I supposed to do? He doesn't like me that way, he made that all too clear but then there are times…times when I think maybe he does not mean what he says and that he is fighting against something."

"Maybe he is," Keally suggests simply. "When I saw him in the woods before—"

She breaks off, biting her lip. I stare at her and begin to remember how she and Jacob are clearly hiding something that happened in the woods from me. "Keally," I say evenly. "What happened in the woods? And was Jacob there when I was unconscious?"

"Ummm," she replies frowning and avoiding my eyes.

"Do not think about it, alright? Just…tell me the truth, please?" I whisper the words softly to her and she turns to me, frowning.

"Clary, the truth is that he was there but I cannot tell you everything because it is not my secret to tell." Her eyes shine with honesty and she has never looked so pale, so nervous. "But what I can tell you is that I think he really does like you but I think he has something he is dealing with. Call it an itch that he needs to scratch before he can move on in his life." A small sad smile appears on her face as she peers at the road.

"Turn right at the next exit," the GPS's monotone voice cuts through the silence between us. "Merge into the left lane and continue straight for five miles until you reach your destination, which will be located on the right."

I stare at the GPS and begin feeling nervous. We are so close to La Push and hours away from home and then the GPS demand for Keally to veer right. "You know Keal, your GPS is has kind of an attitude problem."

"I know!" Keally widens her eyes at me, grinning. "The thing is snotty, always telling me what to do in that condescending voice of hers."

As if on cue the GPS yells out, "you have reached your destination." I look around and frown at Keally. We are in the middle of an intersection.

"Well," Keally mutters after a long silence as we wait for the red light to turn green. "This cannot be right."

"You think?" My sarcasm clearly is not helping the situation but I am panicking a little, of course we would get lost, and then I see a sign. No, not a sign from the Heavens to save us…but an actually sign.

_The Quileute Tribe Welcomes You to La Push Reservation._

"Sounds like a cult," Keally says peering at the sign with a scowl and then she notices that I frowning disapprovingly at her. "What? Oh come on, Clary, look at this place! Practically screams the scene for a bad horror movie where two girls—that would be you and I—get followed by some crazed lunatic who tries to pick us off."

I fix her with a glare and she rolls her eyes at me, letting out an exasperated sigh. "Be nice, Keally," I say seriously.

"Yeah, yeah. I always am," she sings cheerfully and I smirk at her. I peer put the window, searching for the house Embry described but instead I see a beach. A beach!

"Keally!" I say her name with so much excitement, so suddenly that she nearly swerves the car into a ditch at my outburst. "Look, it is a beach." I smile bashfully at her and shrug me shoulders in apology as she shakes her head nervously looking around the streets as if something is going to jump out at us any minute. My god, I never realized how tense she is. She looks borderline terrified.

"Are you alright?"

"Huh," Keally murmurs faintly and turns into the beach I had pointed at. "Yeah, I am fine."

"You seem…tweaked," I say to her worriedly. And she does but when we get out of the car the wind blows through our clothes, the sun shines through the clouds and warms us as we stare out at this unfamiliar place. Finally, I think she begin to relax. "You sure you are alright?"

Keally glances over at me and stuns me with one of her glorious smiles, reaching over she grabs my hand and tugs me with her as she begins to skip down the beach. I laugh stumbling, off balance with her graceful canter, until we collapse into the sand. It is surprisingly warm from the sun's rays gracing it with its delicious heat. Heat…hmmm, that makes me think of… I shake my head ridding myself of the thoughts but secretly harboring the idea of Jacob and I lying on sand, talking to each other.

"Bella!" I turn my head at the voice as if my ears automatically zone in on wherever his presence is hinted. And there he is, standing beautiful with a sad look on his face, and my face breaks out into an automatic smile. It is like it is an immediate reflex, despite his harsh words ringing in my head, my heart beams at him expectantly—waiting for him to notice me. Keally glances at me worriedly and then I see her—and him with his arms around her—a beautiful girl with pale skin and long brown hair. It all makes sense now and I wonder with a shock why I did not see the signs before, of course someone like him would already be caught up in a girl like her—this Bella girl that he pleads out for in a voice that barely even recognize.

"Jake, please. Do not do this. You knew that I am going to marry Edward but I do not want to lose you," the woman says holding her hands on either side of his face. "I care too much to see you hurt."

Jacob grasps on of her hands, clasping it tightly against his chest and over his heart. My stomach drops at the tender gesture, I feel sick and…wrong for seeking this intimate moment like some invader.

"Bella," Jacob says tenderly tugging on yet another one of my heartstrings. "Do you feel this? That is my heart beating and you have one just like it but if you marry him, I will not be able to love you anymore."

My breath catches and Keally clenches my hand. "Clary! You made it!" I whip my head around and see Embry running down to me with a wide grin on his face, and then when he sees Keally he halts to a stop as if he was hit in the stomach my a huge boulder.

Keally and Embry stare at each other, frozen and slowly gravitating towards each other like Embry is a flower in need of sunlight—Keally. I glance at Jacob as a reflex and tears prick the back of my eyes but they do not fall as his dark eyes cut through me, his face is an impassive mask and his hand is still clasped in the dark haired girl's hand.

An awkward silence falls over us and Bella pulls out of Jacob's hold, she steps towards Keally and I, I stiffen impulsively as she positions herself in front of Jacob and smiles at me. "Hi, I am Bella Swan. I do not believe we have met," Bella says awkwardly and I stare at her, my heart beating so loud and painful in my ears.

"I am Clary," I say calmly and somehow managing to keep my emotions in check when inside...it feels like a piece of me, the piece that felt so alive, feels like it is dying. "And that is my best friend, Keally; we are friends of Embry's from school."

**So tell me what you think?**


	20. Chapter 20 Meet the Reservation

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

**Thank you for all the reviews and favorites and following for my story! =]**

**Also I am very sorry I have not updated sooner, I am in the midst of finals week and currently living in the library it seems. =/ **

**Clary's POV:**

"Oh," Bella replies to me as her eyes cloud in confusion and then she turns back to Jacob. She takes a slip of paper from her bag, a thick invitation looking thing. "Please, Jake. Just think about what I said, it…it would really mean a lot to me if you were there."

"Bella," a cold voice interrupts the exchange before Bella can hand the invitation to Jacob, who is sporting a very pained expression on his face that causes my heart to twist in painful contortions. I want to run to him, wrap my arms around him until that expression goes away and he smiles again in the way that lights up his whole face.

"Sam," Bella replies in a clipped voice. "I was just—"

"I thought I told you to leave him alone," he cuts her off and fixes her with a glare. "To stay away from the Reservation now that you have made your choice to join _them_." I exchange a look with Keally at how weird this all is and she glances over at me, then peeks at Embry before looking at me again with wide-eyes and scoots closer to me. Meanwhile, Embry is continues to stare at Keally like she is a goddess that he promised to worship for the rest of his life.

"What the heck is going on?" She glances at Embry and I realize that she is completely freaked out by the way he is looking at her, a laugh slips out of my mouth and I slap my hand to conceal it but the damage has already been done. Everyone's attention turns to me and the man—Sam or whoever—looks from me to Keally as if seeing us for the first time.

"We have guests it appears," he says giving Embry and Jacob a look before a few more boys make close in behind Sam followed by a girl that looks like she would like to be anywhere but where she is. He glances again at the frozen and angered-looking Bella, scowling. "I think it is time for you to leave, Bella."

The sound of her name being uttered seems to snap Jacob out of his trance and he walks over to Bella, frowning but accepting the invitation from her. "Come on, Bella, I will make sure you get back safely."

A growl of disapproval erupts from Reservation group as Keally and I remain motionless, standing quiet and watchful. "Jacob now that you are home, even if it is for a short time, you have rules to follow just like everyone else and we are to have a meeting soon."

"Screw the meeting Sam," Jacob snarls back and begins to tremble while everyone anxiously looks between him and Sam, muttering amongst themselves.

"Time to blow this Popsicle stand," Keally mutters and loops her arm through mine to lead me away from the tension of the Reservation group. We slink away until we make it back to Keally's car, and Keally still looks completely wigged out by the lingering look Embry sends her while we walk away but he remains where he is in the group.

"What the heck is the mutt's problem?" She narrows her eyes at Embry when he turns his back to listen to whatever Sam is saying to Jacob who is walking away with Bella. Bella places her pale, delicate hand on his shoulder and leans in to speak into his ear. The effect is almost instant, Jacob calms and I feel something twist in my stomach. Envy? Jealousy? No, that cannot be right…I do not get jealous usually.

"Keally. Be nice," I warn her and she shoots me a wide eyed "yeah right" kind of look. "Please? Not all men are dogs, Keally, and Embry has been nothing but nice and courteous to me since the day I met him."

She takes in my serious face and heaves a big, dramatic sigh. "Alright," she says and then smirks. "But I might have to throw a muzzle on him." She glances over at Embry wearily, finding him beaming back at her under her narrowed gaze.

"Honestly Keal," I reply laughing. "He is not a dog, my goodness."

Keally's blue eyes cut into me and I almost find myself shuddering from the serious, cold beauty that transforms her face. "You have no idea, Clary."

I take a step back, startled. Keally blinks as if she is just waking up. She flashes me a smile and my heart warms at the reassurance of her being herself, my Keally.

"Last chance to book it out of here?" She loops her arm through mine again and we walk around to the back of her car to get our suitcases. Her suggestion is very appealing but I steel myself to not run away, to not make this trip about Jacob and any useless hope of us being together.

"No," I whisper to her weakly, still absorbed in my own thoughts.

"You okay, Clar?" Her voice is laced with concern and I force a smile up at her before she starts clucking around like a mother hen.

"Yeah," I lie and look away. I clear my throat in attempt to make myself and her more assured. "Yes."

She looks at me uneasily, disbelieving. "We should probably head back before they start sniffing us out or something."

I roll my eyes at her. "They are _not_ dogs, Keally. Be nice," I say in exasperation gesturing to her wildly with a wide grin as we wheel our suitcases down the path to the Reservation group.

"Yeah, yeah. Sure…" Keally mumbles under her breath and I frown at her, shaking my head in disapproval. Honestly, they are friendly guys that are perfectly polite._ Well, most of them are anyways. _

"What the hell are they doing here Embry?" Sam growls quietly as Keally and I halt at his words, teetering from foot to foot unsure what to do. I look at Keally whose face has gone impassive, she stares at the pack of boys with narrowed eyes and her lips pursed. _Should we leave?_ I silently convey the message to Keally when she finally meets my eyes, blue eyes reading my own uncertainty.

"I invited them to spend the holiday with me—with us—because Clary was just going to stay at school for the holidays and then she asked if her friend could come along too…" Embry explains to Sam but anger forms inside me at his tone of voice, the anxiousness that is conveyed from Embry's body language. I don't like it. He does not want to anger Sam, this is all too strange. What horrible, controlling power does this guy have over Embry and everyone else? I exchange another look with Keally. _More importantly, what have I gotten us into?_

"We will discuss this later Embry," Sam decides finally with disapproval wafting off his body and laced in his tone. "They are sure to be back from getting their belongings soon and we do not want them to suspect anything."

"It is a little too late for that," a feminine voice says drily from behind Keally and I. We turn around frowning and find a woman our age with straight black hair, tan skin, and a sarcastic smirk on her face.

"Leah," Sam acknowledges with a grim face. "You are late."

"Yeah. Travel issues," Leah says shortly and rolls her eyes. "Good to see you too, Sam. How are Emily and the baby doing?"

Sam's face softens at the mention of whoever 'Emily and the baby' are and then his face twists into a pained expression when he looks at Leah. "They are very well," he whispers softly. "Thank you, Leah."

"That's good," she replies simply, shoving her hands in the pockets of her hoodie. Then she turns to me and her eyes take in my features, scrutinizing me for a moment before allowing a small smile. "Hi, I'm Leah. These jerks I am guessing are being extremely rude at the moment." She rolls her eyes in the Reservation group's direction, and I notice all of them are staring at her gaping with stunned expressions.

I smile warmly at her. "It is nice to meet you, Leah. I'm Clary and this is my best friend Keally," I reply and link my arm through Keally's once more at my reference to her. Everyone stares at Keally, Embry's expression going dreamy again, and she squirms uncomfortably under their intense scrutiny.

Then Sam takes a step forward, his expression murderous. "What do you think _you_ are doing here? Invading on _our_ turf," he roars at Keally and takes a threatening step forward. I look at Keally, her pale face tight and etched in icy beauty as her blue eyes stare at this crazed, controlling man.

"Well, that certainly took a shorter amount of time than I anticipated," Keally mumbles sarcastically.

Sam growls and turns on Embry. "How could you be so stupid as to invite them here?"

"I—um—I don't understand," Embry stammers out, confused. Sam's domineering nature causes a match to be lit inside me, the anger catching and erupting within me.

"She is one of _them_," Sam growls and takes a aggressive step towards Keally but before he can reach for her I stumble defensively in front of her, blocking him. His eyes widen as he looks at me, my mouth jaw set in determination and my eyes burning.

"Leave her alone," I warn him. Sam begins to tremble and Keally tries to pull me back but I just grasp her hand and plant my feet firmly, standing my ground as I lock eyes with Sam. "We were invited here by Embry, our friend, now I do not know who the heck you are but I can already tell you are a big bully. Who are you to say if we can be here or not? Last time I checked this is a free country, and you do not have your name on the world."

Sam immediately stops shaking at my words and his brow furrows in confusion, until a realization seems to dawn on him and his eyes widen. "You don't know," he whispers surprised.

"Don't know what?" I pause and stare at him. _What the hell do you know anymore? _My mind sneers at me and I narrow my eyes at Sam, confused and frustrated. "What is it that I do not seem to _freaking_ know?"

"Nothing," he replies and looks away from me. He is lying! I grit my teeth and look at Keally who is carefully avoiding my eyes as well, in fact, when I peer around it seems everyone is keen on not meeting my eyes. Or answering my question it seems but that is pretty damn clear.

However, then I find myself locking eyes with Leah and her mouth slants into a hard line. She glances from Sam to Keally, to the group, and then back to me. "She should really know. It is not fair to be kept in the dark."

"Leah," Sam growls in warning.

"What?" Leah glares at him. "She is a grown freaking woman! She deserves the right to know what is going on in her life, no matter how screwed up it is." She gestures to me in exasperation, conveying exactly what I am feeling inside but refuse to reveal.

"Please," Keally whispers under all the growls and argument. "Let me tell her, she is my best friend."

"I am standing right here!" I suddenly burst out and everyone falls silent. "I am not a child and I damn well do not need to be _sheltered_ from anything. So for once, can someone please be straight we me?"

"You want straight, little girl," one of the men from the group steps forward and just from the look on his face I know he has a temper and that we are going to butt heads. All I know is that I do not know this man and he is getting in my face, the anger inside me burning higher and higher to boiling point.

"Yeah," I say with slight attitude. "I would."

He takes another step forward and I hear Keally hiss behind me at him, he scowls in annoyance and disgust. "Well, I will make it real simple for you…you friend here." He gestures to Keally. "She is a disgusting, bloodsucking fucking leech!"

I am not sure if it is the fact that he is now yelling in my face, or that it is just pent up emotion waiting inside me like a ticking time-bomb but something inside me just…snaps. My fist flashes out and I am punching this angry stranger right in the nose, and man does it feel gratifying. However, it also hurt like hell. _A lot_.

_**Review? =]**_


	21. Chapter 21 The Call of Bullcrap

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

**So finals nearly were the death of me but I survived and I am so happy, I slammed out this longer chapter for everyone that I have been gradually working on between breaks so I hope everyone likes it. =]**

**Thank you **_**NMBC-Sally**_**, **_**Candyland0530**_**, and **_**Kisa19**_** for the supporting reviews! Also, thank you to everyone who has made the story one of their favorites and are following the story.**

**Clary's POV:**

I stare at my throbbing hand and somehow I know that something is wrong. "Holy crap on a cracker!" I curl the injured hand into my body, cursing under my breath and forcing tears back.

Keally pulls on my arm quickly, forcing me behind her to shield me with her body. I look up at the man who I punched and Sam and Quill are holding him back while he is trembling violently, staring at me with a lethal expression as blood drips from his nose.

"Paul," Sam commands loudly. "Calm down, now. You must control it." Control what? I stare at this man, Paul, who looks like he wants to tear me apart.

Locking eyes with him, I slowly grab Keally's hand and take a gutsy step forward.

"Clary," Embry warns and sends me an anxious glance. "Don't."

"I will tell her," Keally declares quietly. "Just put the mutt back on the leash will you?" Without waiting for a response, Keally tugs on my hand to lead me down the beach area. The sky has darkened and the sun is setting over the horizon, the wind competing with the crashing sound of the waves in front of us.

After walking a far distance away, Keally drops my hand with a long sigh and stares out at the setting sun. "I love sunsets. The colors are all so beautiful," she says quietly.

"Keally," I plead with her. "What the heck is going on?"

"Clary…" She turns to me, biting her lip and blue eyes glowing with fear. "I am not what you think I am."

"What do you mean?"

"I am a monster," she says suddenly and looks out at the crashing waves. Her wavy, blonde locks whip back and forth, escaping from her French braid.

"No you are not, Keally. You are my best friend," I tell her firmly. "Do not listen to whatever these people say."

"No," Keally whispers to me. "They are right. I am. I do not belong here, I am not allowed to be here but I needed so badly to protect you."

"You are not a monster, Keally."

"Yes I am," she confesses sadly. "But so are they." She looks up at the Reservation group and another wave of confusion settles over me, my hands clench into fists and I am reminded of the pain tingling in my hand.

"I do not understand," I tell her honestly.

"I am not human, Clary." I stare at her, unsure what to say. What do you say to something like _that_?

"Yeaaah," I laugh at her joke because it has to be a joke. Right? "Sure Keal, and I am a reptile with all this cold-blooded, low-body heat. Now what is really going on?"

Keally stares at me, frowning, and shakes her head slowly. "No, Clary, I am completely serious. _Dead_ serious, in fact." She smirks at this comment for some unfathomable reason and something twists in my stomach, churning uneasily as I think up a response.

"Quite messing with me Keal," I say smirking at her and nudge her shoulder.

Keally looks out at the water and lets out a long, tired sigh. "I am a half-breed, a half vampire and half vampire." She takes in my stunned expression, the smile falling from my mouth to gape at her.

"This is not funny Keally," I say finally and shake my head in disbelief. "You have been my best friend for four years. Don't you think I would have realized that you were _undead_?"

"You were not supposed to know," she replies keeping her eyes on the setting sun. "We are supposed to live in secret."

I laugh; it is a dry sarcastic sound that for some absurd reason bubbles out of my throat. Finally, Keally looks at me and her expression is full of angst and fear. "Come on," I say and shake my head again. I rise to my feet and begin walking back the direction we came. "Let's head back if you are still determined to keep me in the dark, I am too exhausted and my hand is frankly killing me to continue with this conversation."

"No," Keally blurts out and jumps to her feet. She gasps my hand tight and before I can object she splays my hand on her chest, over her heart.

"Keally, come o—"I begin to say and then blink at her in surprise at what I feel, or more what I do _not _feel. Her heart beat, it is slow and barely beating. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I feel fine. I am a vampire-human hybrid, Clary." She smiles at me and her teeth become pointed, fangs unsheathed from her human camouflage. "I have a heart that beats in my chest—however slowly it may be—and blood running through my veins. But I have certain…abilities, venom in my bite, and skin that is indestructible."

I stare at her, unable to form coherent words while the sun becomes replaced by the waning moon. The moonlight shines over us, illuminating Keally's inhumane beauty and suddenly I believe every word she has said.

Keally lets out a sigh of relief. "You believe me," she says and smiles sadly. "But you are still freaked out."

"You can read my mind?" I stare at her, torn between shock and mortification. _I knew she could figure out what I was thinking but I never imagined…_

"No, well, not really." I heave a sigh of relief and she laughs a twinkling, whimsical sound that is so familiar but so strange now. "God, you were really worried? No, I cannot read your mind but I do have a special binding to you."

"What do you mean?" I frown at her. "How are you bound to me?"

"I am in tune to a lot of your emotions, Clary." Keally looks away and I think there is more to it but I settle that for discussion later. "I feel what you feel a lot of the time, which is why I am so intent on protecting you all the time."

"Mother hen tendencies," I mumble under my breath and she grins at me.

"Exactly," Keally replies. "Which is why I am here on widely forbidden territory, the Reservation is off-limits to any vampires. Technically, the treaty states that I could be killed for my law-breaking but they are discussing my case because it is very…unique."

"Yeah, I can bet." I smirk at her and laugh.

Keally looks at me for a long moment, uneasily. "Are you alright with all of this Clary? You seem to be taking it…shockingly well."

I nod my head at her, smiling slightly. "Yeah, I just wish you would have told me about it before Keally."

"I did not want to scare you," she whispers to the moon above folding her arms around herself at the cold breeze.

"You are my best friend," I reply to her with a smile. "Nothing could have changed that."

The ultimate expression of relief fills the features of her face. "Thank you, Clary. Do you want to go back with me? I am going to go talk things over with the Reservation mutts." She rolls her eyes and the comment sparks another thought within me.

"Are they werewolves?" I look in the direction of the group and frown. _It would explain why Keally has been making the dog references all day_.

"Um," Keally hesitates and looks away from me again. "That is kind of not my secret to tell so you will have to figure that out for yourself."

I nod, frowning. What if they are? What if nothing in this world is real, or unreal, or whatever all of this is.

"Are you coming up with me? It is getting cold," she says but I shake my head at her. I need time to think this all through.

"Go ahead without me, I will be up in a bit. I just need some air." Keally nods at me, understanding my need for space right now. "But be careful up there with all _that_." I gesture wildly in the direction of the Reservation group, who now that I see has begun to file down with only Embry, Sam, Leah, Quill and another boy awaiting the quickly approaching Keally.

Shouting erupts from the group and I roll my eyes. Guys can we not just all get along? _No, you idiot, your best friend is some hybrid vampire and god knows what the Reservation gang is._ My mind sneers its ugly head again and I frown up at the moon, suddenly, everything goes quiet and there is no shouting.

I lay back in the sand, not caring about getting dirty or cold and I stare up at the sky—counting the stars and reveling in how peaceful it is out here. Somewhere between eighty and ninety, my eyes drift shut at the calming sound of the waves crashing onto the shore.

_I am sitting on the couch again, staring at the television screen without really seeing what I am watching until something crawls along my leg. I glance down at my jeans and sigh in relief, it is just a bug, and I flick it off my leg. _

_I am not a little girl. I am just me, just Clary. _

"_Clarissa," a woman's voice yells from the other room and my stomach drops. Aunt Salad…No. No. No. I close my eyes and wait for her to ask me how many sandwiches I want, praying for once that she doesn't. _

"_Honey, do you just want one egg sandwich?" I stand up quickly, trying to rush to go answer her directly but I only round the corner and slam into his chest. I look into his face but all I see is black, he is faceless. I stubble backwards and I am sitting on the couch again, he is sitting next to me and I cannot breathe. _

_He smells of nasty cigarettes and something bitter and his hand skims over my leg, up to the button of my jeans. I want to scream, to cry, and to do something but I choke on my own words. They evaporate on my tongue once I open my mouth._

_I feel him. I cross my legs, it is the only action I can seem to muster beside these silent tears ripping me apart inside. He pulls his hand out and I think it is over, I close my eyes and beg for it to be over. He places his hand on my knee and I try to tighten my legs together as he pushes them firmly apart._

_And then my legs fall beside each other, heavy and immovable. His hand is back and I close my eyes, trying not to cry._

"_Clary," I hear Keally's voice and my eyes open instantly. We are standing in an empty house with our belongings all packed up and ready to go somewhere. She smiles sadly at me, wrapping her arms around me tightly and whispering in my ear. "I will protect you."_

_I close my eyes, taking in her sweet scent but it is soon clouded with the smell of smoke. I am standing in a burning house, my burning house. My hand is wrapped around a little girl's hand, trailing her along through the smoke and dodging the hot flames around us. Mia, I think suddenly. I must find Mia. My kitty…_

_The house begins to fall apart, the structure collapsing around the little girl and I but we still search for Mia. Then the little girl begins to cough violently, she is dying but I keep dragging her on. _

_What is wrong with me? Why don't I stop searching? She needs to get out now or she will die and it will be my fault, all my fault…_

"_Clarissssahh," I jerk around at the voice hissing at me from the darkness and the burning flames. The little girl falls to her knees at the sudden motion; she cannot get back up because she is coughing too hard. Her small frame shakes under her baggy green sweater as she continues to heave ragged breaths. _

_Her baggy green sweater…I stare down at her, gaping, and my own wide, green eyes stare back at me._

"_Clary!"_

I wake up, chest heaving and the vision of smoke still dancing in my head. Jacob is kneeling over me as I tremble, it has gotten very cold but that is not the sole reason why I am shaking.

"What are doing sleeping out here? Do you really have no value to your self-worth, Clary?" His voice is angry and scolding, I just want to be left alone. _Please leave_, my mind begs him silently as my heart beats wildly. I cannot speak. I was looking into my own dying, green eyes a few seconds ago.

"Hey," Jacob says suddenly in concern. "What is it? Look, let's get you inside and warmed up."

I sit up and place my head between my knees with my arms wrapped around the middle of my calves; I take in controlled breaths in attempt to calm myself down. In, out, in and out. Breathe Clary, it is not real. It is not real anymore. It was just a dream.

"Mercury, Venus, Earth," I whisper barely comprehensible to myself. "Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto." I close my eyes again and the images are still there, green eyes flashing back at me taunting in my own face.

"Clary," Jacob's voice panics in concern and he places his warm hand on my shoulder to comfort me but the last thing I want is to be touched. Even by him touching is too much for me to handle, I shudder away from him and shake my head to get him to understand.

"What is it? Tell me, please. Shit Clary," he says and tries to put his arms around me to comfort me but I shy away from him again. From my peripheral vision he runs his hand through his hair in panic, unsure what to do to help me. "Do you need your pills?" I shake my head, quickly. _I want you to go away._

I repeat my manta of the planets in my head and then reverse them, taking deep controlled breaths until I begin to calm down. Jacob stares at me, looking helpless with his dark eyes wide in the moonlight and his arms hanging at his sides.

I stare at him, emotionless but calm, and wonder why he is still here with me. Why didn't he just walk away?

"What just happened to you Clary?" He looks so lost and afraid but why? It is not over concern for me surely.

"Nothing," I lie weakly and stare out at the waves.

"Bullcrap," he replies gently, calling me out but not unkindly.

"I never was good at that game," I confess and smile faintly at him. He frowns at me worriedly and scoots closer to me as if on instinct, I feel the heat radiate from his body and I shiver involuntarily. With a sigh, Jacob wraps his arm around my shoulders and I stiffen but allow the warmth to spread appreciatively throughout my body.

"I was always a damn genius when it came to that game," Jacob states smugly. I snort and roll my eyes at him, my shoulders shake with laughter and he smirks down at me. "What?"

"You," I reply laughing. "So smug you are Jacob Black."

"Well, I just tell it like it is and do not beat around the bush." His dark eyes twinkle in the moonlight, despite everything he still manages to enrapture me with his presence. He continues to stare at me and then leans forward, his thumb skimming just at the corner crease next to my eye.

Gently, he pulls back his hand and I am jelly on the sand around us. "Eyelash," he says softly and I think my heart stops for a moment at the husky tone. And then I have to ask and ruin it all.

"Did you work things out with Bella?" Her name is like rocks in my mouth but I manage to say the words somehow kindly to him, as if I really am concerned about her.

Jacob stiffens and for a moment he looks so lost again, his arm drops from my shoulders and the abandonment of heat causes me to shiver. "She is marrying that leech," he growls and his body trembles. My eyes widen at the vampire reference, I wonder how many are there out in the world.

"She is marrying a human-vampire hybrid?" I ask him, stunned. It is not every day that you get to ask _that_ question, or maybe it is in their world. Jacob stares at me with those beautiful onyx eyes widening at my question, mouth hanging open.

"How did you—"He beings and then he breaks off, realization dawning on him and he stares behind him at a house in the distance—Embry's house. "The leech told you."

"Keally," I emphasis her name and scowl at his comment about my best friend. "You have not been to Embry's yet I presume?"

"No," he says and frowns down at me. "I just got back to find you thrashing around in the cold sand." I blush at the thought of me thrashing around from my nightmare, hoping I did not embarrass myself too badly in front of him.

"Oh," I say softly. "Well, a lot has happened since you…left." _With her,_ I add silently_._ I look down at the ground and I am thankful for the darkness to cover up my gradually heating face as Jacob continues to stare at me. I shiver again.

"We should go inside. You are probably freezing out here," Jacob comments and rises to his feet I expect him to walk up to the house without looking back at me. However, Jacob surprises me yet again. I make no move to stand while my body objects to any mere movement, and then my body is jerking to attention as Jacob stands in front of me—offering his hands. I blink momentarily surprised and then place my hands gently in his strong, warm hands. Electricity zips though me at his touch, another shiver coursing through my body and I wonder if he can feel it too.

He pulls me up and suddenly I am crying out from a jolting pain in my right hand, the hand I punched Paul with. _Oh yeah…I forgot that was injured_.

"Shit," Jacob mumbles with his hand outstretched towards me as I curl my hand into my chest, trying to ease the throbbing pain. "What is wrong, Clary? Did I hurt you?"

I shake my head at him. "No," I stutter out and blush again because I am going have to explain that I punched someone he is probably close with in the face. "I—um—I just kind of punched this guy in the face earlier."

Jacob stares at me. "You…punched who in the face exactly?"

"Um," I think for a moment as if I have to pretend that I do not remember the guy's name. "I believe his name was Paul."

It is quiet for a long moment and then Jacob begins to laugh, as if what I just said was the funniest thing that he had ever heard. His laugh washes over me; it is a true and honest laugh that causes my heart to quicken, a sound that is naturally sexy without a hint of effort.

"I can imagine what happened when you did that," Jacob pants out through fits of laughter. I frown at him, unsure whether I should be defensive or not.

"Well, his nose was bleeding and he looked pretty angry that Keally pulled me down here and then confessed to everything." Why am I explaining myself to him? I do not owe him any reason for why I chose to punch Paul, and it did not have anything to do with Jacob. Yet, somehow, he does know about vampires and the fact strikes an idea in my head again.

"Are you a werewolf?"

Jacob stops laughing. He stares at me and pales under my intense scrutiny but grasps my hands gently in his own. "Where did you get that idea from?

"Well, are you?"

"No," he says impassively and then he looks away from me but his hands are still gently cradling my own.

I lean forward, squinting up at him and inhaling his heady scent of forest and spice. "Bullcrap," I point out confidently.

His eyes narrow at me and his hands squeeze my own done too gently, pain bursts into my hand again and I gasp. I pull away from him, cursing under my breath. "Damn, I forgot." Jacob gazes at my hand, dark eyes glazed in worry and regret. "Let me see it."

I push him away, firmly. I do not need to be babied when I can deal with the pain myself once he leaves to let me lick my wounds, which have seemed to be accumulating more and more since I have met him. "No. I am fine," I reply stubbornly.

"Damn it, Clary. Just let me see it alright? Do what you are told for once," He growls dominantly trying to intimidate me. I stand my ground and shove my hands into the pockets of my jacket, slowly, while staring at him as I complete the act of defiance. His forehead creases in irritation, or frustration but I am not really sure which because I turn my back on him and begin to walk away.

He is at my side in a matter of seconds, grasping my arm roughly. I struggle against him as he forcefully tries to pull my hands out of my jacket pockets, and I dodge his advances each time he pulls at my arms.

He grabs my arms, shaking me lightly in frustration, and trying in vain to get me to keep still long enough for him to pull my hands out. "Damn it, woman, must you be so frustrating?" I turn another direction at another of his advances and lose my footing, stumbling backwards until he collapses on top of me on the ground with a low growl.

I pant from beneath his crushing weight that pins me to the ground, warming me and rendering me helpless. I cannot move and I hate that feeling, the claustrophobia settling into my chest and I begin to panic. "Please," I breathe in distress with wide-eyes.

"Please what?" Jacob stares down at my helpless body and sends me a cocky smirk. "Not so tough and stubborn now are you?"

I narrow my eyes at him, part of me hating him while the other part dances at him being pressed like a glove against me. "Get off of me," I grunt brazenly through gritted teeth. My heart pounds in my chest against his own hot skin, the length of his muscular body engulfing me in his heat until a blush rises to my cheeks.

"Are you going to cooperate?" Jacob raises an eyebrow at me, smirking with amused excitement dancing in his eyes. I realize his game, this is playful Jacob.

"What if I don't?" I purse my lips and glare at him, playful but a little serious.

"Well then, Clary Knight, it seems that there is to be a very long night ahead of us." He laughs at my expression and I feel the sensation vibrate in my own chest, my heart beat spikes.

I squirm underneath him and let out a huff. "Get off me Black," I say glaring. "You weigh a ton."

"Baby you do not know the half of it," he teases with those dark eyes glowing in the moonlight. _Baby_… My heart jumps at the word, so delicious and so right coming from his lips.

I halt my body suddenly, forcing myself to calm and cease the struggling for a moment. Jacob stares down at me in confusion, trying to gauge my reaction but I just smirk and slide my arms slowly out and rest them on his elbows. I raise a knee until it is resting against his firm butt, the thought causing the blush to crawl up my cheeks. Then I pull on his elbows, ignoring the pain in my hand, and push with my knee until he is sent flying over me and crashing into the sand in surprise.

I rise to my feet, slowly, glancing over at Jacob. He lays flat on his stomach, motionless and I frown in concern. "Jacob?" My voice is hesitant and fear chills me when he does not respond. "Crap," I whisper softly and rush over beside him.

"Jacob," I say again and place a hand on his shoulder, gently trying to jostle him while leaning forward. "Are you alrig—"

I squeal in surprise when he grabs me so quickly that it is practically humanly impossible and then I am settled beneath him once more, my heart beating rapidly from fear and responsiveness. He leans down close to my face and I feel his warm, delicious breath on my cheek. "So much for your quick getaway," he purrs and I roll my eyes at him. "I am just too skilled and quick for you."

"So egotistical," I reply and try to squirm away again but this time he holds me under him tightly, firm and domineering. I look into his eyes and notice the dark edge that glows in the moonlight, the scent of forest and spice fills my senses.

"Only when necessary," he replies with a smirky-smile and my heart skips another beat. We stare at each other, so close and tangled up in the other that each attempt at movement only causes our bodies to inch closer.

"Is that so?" I manage to slip my right hand out from beneath his body, wincing slightly. Without thinking, I raise the hand up to the side of his face too unexpectedly for him to really think about it as my hand skims over his slightly scruffy, warm jawline to his cheek with the back of my hand. His dark eyes widen and a low growl erupts from within his throat, I blink at him in surprise thinking I crossed the line and drop my hand away.

However, when I lock eyes with Jacob his eyes are darkened with want to the point where his irises and pupils appear one solid color—black. His body begins to tremble, his jaw clenching in restraint, and then he lets his head fall suddenly against my shoulder. My eyes widen in surprise and I do not dare to breathe for a moment, while Jacob's forehead rests gently on the top of my shoulder and his nose skims my collarbone. He lets out a long, forlorn sound that could be the equivalent of a soft whine but surely my mind is playing tricks on me.

"Jacob," I whisper softly. I am so confused by his mixed signals, and it is actions like this that toy with my head so badly that pain enters my chest. It is just short of torture really but I am too far gone to try and stop it, like a fast approaching train wreck and I am tied to the tracks. Waiting out my fate…is that what I am doing?

"Hmm," he murmurs unintelligibly, giving into pure animal instinct. He inhales deeply before letting out the contained breath slowly, the sensation causing gooseflesh to prick my sick and a delicious chill to run down my spine. _Wait. Did he just smell me?_

I open my eyes, turn my head to the side, and curve my neck a bit to stare at him from the corner of my eye—quirking an eyebrow at him. Jacob lifts his head abruptly and his soft lips accidently brush against my own. The connection is instant, like my blood is singing and fireworks are exploding within me just from the mere touch of his soft lips to mine. My eyes widen and I stare into his hooded, dazed eyes that reflect my surprised expression like sheets of black ice gleamed with surprised green.

I jerk back and breaking our contact sends heat into my veins, tingling with fiery vengeance for the contact again. He jumps off of me and paces back and forth, leaving deep prints from his frustration as he runs his hands through his hair and avoids meeting my eyes. All the events of the day have drained me of energy, at this point I am close to running on empty and my heart hurts almost as bad as the dull pain in hand.

"What the hell was that?" I whisper unconsciously bringing my fingertips up to my still-tingling lips; they still feel so warm from his abandoned heat.

"Nothing," he growls and I blink at his temper. God, I am not _that_ bad of a kisser, not to mention that was barely even a kiss. _Yeah, right. Keep telling yourself that, Miss-No-One-Wants-to-Kiss-You._ I wince at the brunt of the backhanded slap that my conscious gives me.

"Okay…" I trail off and blush from my seated position in the sand; I let my hand drop away from my lips to settle in my lap. "But—"

"Nothing, it meant nothing!" I wince and his eyes catch the action, pain and regret entering his dark gaze. "Look, I did not mean it like that. It is just really complicated with me right now. I cannot…" He trails off and I shake my head at him, wanting for him to stop trying to explain so he can leave me alone to think. I need to think about how that accidental kiss made me feel on top of everything else that went on today.

I get up and brush the sand off of me as he stares at me with an anxious expression. "Clary…" His voice is too much; it is full of pitiful apology for another hope that has been crushed within me. I am sick of it. I do not look at him or respond to his false concerns, taking careful and calm steps towards the house as the wind howls in my ears.

"Clary! "Jacob calls out in a desperate tone and I almost turn at the sound. However, I resist the urge and keep walking. "Clary, wait!"

"Wait for what exactly, Jacob?" I turn suddenly and he slams into me, unexpectedly. We tumble to the ground again in his attempt to catch me before I fall but this time my body lies flush on top of his. Then he flips us over quickly so he is domineering on top of me, his hands grasping my wrists firmly. I hiss in pain at the pressure he puts on my right hand and he glances down, instantly loosening his iron grip.

"Just let me look at it, please." His eyes plead with me and I frown because honestly what does the pain in my hand matter anymore. More importantly, why the hell does he even care? "Please, Clary."

"Why?" I narrow my eyes at him, waiting for his answer and reaction.

"Because," he replies shortly and I could smack him for how frustrating this all is.

"Because is not an answer Jacob," I grumble underneath him and scowl. "In fact, it is the very opposite of an answer, it is evading the issue." He stares at me, eyes wide in bewilderment or sheer boredom. I take a deep breath, trying to steel myself for what I am about to say. "What exactly am I waiting for Jacob?"

He continues to stare at me but does not say anything, opening and closing his mouth until I get slightly distracted by the memory of the softness of his hot mouth. _No, you cannot allow this to continue. You have enough issues already and this screwed up relationship, or whatever this is, is not helping._

"What," I whisper to him faintly and then make my voice firm. "What. Am. I. Waiting. For."

Jacob looks away from me but our bodies our still tight against each other, his pinning me down to the cold sand but setting fire to my skin. "Nothing," he whispers to the night sky above us.

"Oh," I manage out with hurt twigging in my heart. Again. "I would like you to get off of me now, please." His attention snaps back to me and he slides off of me carefully.

I begin walking back up to Embry's house with the emotion drained out of me, and then I feel his warm hand on my shoulder. It sends the tingling shivers down my spine again, the heat of his skin calling to my body in yearning. I stiffen at his touch but do not look at him.

"Clary," he whispers with his tone laced with guilt and something else unreadable. I love the way he says my name, the way his tongue caresses the C and then wraps around the ending ry, and my heart skips. I sigh.

"What Jacob?" My voice sounds tired even to my own ears.

"I'm sorr—"

"Don't," I interrupt him and lift a hand up to stop what he is going to say but I still keep my back to him. "I do not want your pity, or whatever it is you feel indebted to me. I have feelings, yes, but I have some pride too. So just…don't. Please."

"I do not pity your feelings Clary," he replies to me and I almost turn around to search what his expression is.

"What _do_ you feel, Jacob?" I ask suddenly bold and a blush heats my face. I close my eyes, waiting for his answer. _Nothing, I feel nothing for you Clary. _I steel myself for the answer.

"I don't know," Jacob replies and my eyes flick open in amazement by his answer. _He does not know! What the hell does that even mean?_

I keep my back turned to him and fold my arms against my chest, scowling at the ground in search of a response that will not come out pathetic. "What the hell does that even mean?" I ask the ground honestly and Jacob's hand on my shoulder twitches slightly at my frustrated tone.

"Nothing," he says and drops his hand in defeat. "It means nothing, Clary." I take a step forward, still keeping my back to him, and begin walking again back to Embry's to talk out my frustrations to Keally.

"Clary, I—" Jacob's voice breaks off and it is tinged with so much agony that I finally turn around to find him staring at me with so much distress that he is trembling. My heart jumps frantically in my chest.

"You do not know?" I ask in a controlled voice and a burst of anger rises up within me as he watches me carefully, unease by my controlled calm.

"No," he whispers low in his husky voice to the sand below us. "I don't."

I take another step towards him and all I need to do is step another step to close the space between us but I remain where I am. "And it means nothing to you?" I watch as anguish crawls over is handsome features for a moment before he slams down his impassive mask. Suddenly, I do not believe him.

"No," he breathes out firmly like he is trying to believe it himself. "It means nothing to me."

I press my lips together in a firm line and narrow my gaze, fury wielding up inside me. _He is lying!_ The fact is written all out in his actions tonight, his body language, and the forced expression on his face right now.

I lean forward slightly with my weight teetering on one foot. "Bullcrap," I say confidently to him. And then I close the distance between us, reaching up and crash my lips onto his hot mouth that begins to respond immediately.

The response further proves my call of judgment and calls out his dishonesty.

**Review? Please? =]**


	22. Chapter 22 Can't and Won't

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

_**Thank you to those who have made the story their favorite and are following it! Also, thank you Candyland0530, Kisa19, and Sweet Petit**_** for the wonderful reviews! =]**

**Clary's POV:**

Jacob moves against me with wild and desperate hands clinging to my arms, my waist, and then at my hips to press me firmly against him. He unravels before me, curling the fingers of his right hand into my hair to hold me into place—gentle and firm. Meanwhile, his other hand pins me against the fire of his body. My body responds to the contact immediately, coursing through my veins and awakening every fiber of my being. His kiss becomes deep and carnal, devouring every breath with a possessive and desperate need as the hand on my hip skims down my body to the back of my knees.

"Mmmm," I groan in surprise against his lips as he lifts me effortlessly off the ground and holds me bridal style against him. His tongue invades my parted lips, taking and not giving an ounce to my own need as it explores my mouth while I revel in the taste of him.

His muscular arms travel down my body again, caressing every inch of me as he continues to kiss me with fervor and dominance. Suddenly, he grasps my knees and then my ankles while making his way to the sandy ground again. I rock against him, not daring to lift my lips from his, and tentatively I splay my left hand against the crease of his chest while my right settles on his shoulder lightly.

Jacob inhales deeply and his lips part against mine, his nose skimming mine affectionately. "What the hell are you doing to me, Clary?" I stare into his wide dark eyes and my heart pounds so loudly in my ears. I do not know how to response so I grab the front of his shirt, knotting it in my left hand, and drag him back to my mouth in hope that he surrenders to the kiss again.

He surrenders willingly and I cry out in surprise when he grasps my hands and raises them above my head, meanwhile, he slides smoothly on top of me. I am trapped beneath him again. "Jacob," I murmur softly but it comes out more like a strangled moan that is immediately absorbed in his heated kiss. I want to touch him so badly but his hands hold mine in an iron grip as he trails hot, wet kisses down my jawline and throat. I struggle beneath him in attempt to break his hold to touch him; I want to run my hand over the crease of his chest muscles.

I close my eyes as pleasant shivers track down my spine and shoot a path straight to my heart, warming it to kindle the fire in the pit of my belly. His lips on the skin of my collarbone caused my back to arch against him, while my lips part in anticipation for what he will do next. Desire unwinds and stretches out in every inch of my body, deepening the kiss I jerk my left hand from his grasp and run my fingers through his soft hair. I push against him, our bodies flush against each other as our tongues battle for dominance and his hands travel to cup my face in a tender caress.

Jacob growls and I tighten my hand buried in his dark and sexy mess of hair, until he breaks away from my lips and trails hot kisses down my throat again that make my lips part in a silent moan. The shoulder of my sweater slips down to expose some of my bare, pale skin and Jacob's lips skim a heated path across my shoulder. His mouth opens and another shiver shots through me when his tongue tastes my skin, the sensation causes me to bite my lip and I tighten grasp on his hair. He groans and runs his teeth across my shoulder playfully, his teeth scraping my skin until I am writhing beneath him. I tangle both my hands in his hair, massaging his scalp with my fingernails and then his hands close over my waist roughly.

Jacob's lips become more insistent and intense on the exposed skin of my shoulder, my heart slams in my chest under his ardent and rough touch. My hands tighten to fist his dark locks and I ignore the pain in my right hand once more. Then a low, animalistic growl erupts from deep in his throat and his teeth closed around the skin of my shoulder. The pain of my hand evaporates compared to the hot sting of Jacob's teeth biting into my skin, my eyes flick open and I gasp in surprise/pain.

"Jacob," I pant out and claw at his chest in alarm. "Jacob!"

He jerks away quickly and looks at me panicked, dark eyes searching over me as if seeing me for the first time. He backs away from me with a frightened expression. Then his eyes skim over my disheveled sweater and lands on my right shoulder, a look of agony screws up on his handsome face as he stares at me.

"Clary," he says cautiously. He looks so scared and like a lost little boy, or a puppy with his big dark eyes watching me as if I am going to run away screaming at any moment. "Clary, I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

He looks like he wants to bolt, to get as far away from me as possible and I just continue to stare at him, stunned. _Did he just bite me?_ I look at my shoulder but it is dark and I can only see the outline of a mark on my shoulder in the glint of the moonlight. It tingles as I try to examine the slightly fading mark.

"Say something," Jacob whispers with distress glinting in his eyes. "Please."

"Did you…did you just _bite_ me?" My heart pounds and my whole body is tingling from his touch, taste, and just…all of him.

A mixture of agony, regret, and guilt swims in his eyes and he opens his mouth but no words come out. "I didn't…" He shuts his eyes and then covers his face with his hands. "I'm sorry, Clary. I could have…it was just so—"He fumbles over his words, which are muffled from the cover of his hands. The hands that were skimming all over my body, tender and insistent, just minutes ago.

"Jacob," I whisper and I realize that I am not afraid. I crawl to him slowly in attempt to not alarm him but he keeps his hands shielding his face, hiding away from me in some unfathomable shame. "Hey, it is alright."

Jacob lets out a disgusted snort that could be equivalent to a near snarl. I crawl closer and rest my hand on his warm shoulder that sends the electricity through my body. I grab his hands and pull them away from his beautiful face, he stares at me with those wide dark eyes and I nearly melt.

"It is not okay," he says softly and his hands tremble in my grasp. When I peer at the rest of him in the moonlight, I notice his whole body is shaking not from anger at me but…maybe at himself. "You have to stay away from me, Clary."

"No," I reply stubbornly and frown at him. "After all of that—you have got think I have a rock for a brain if you think that I am going believe that you do not feel an ounce of what I feel for you."

"Clary—"Jacob begins to protest and tries to pull his hands away from mine, however, despite the ache in my hand I hold on as he struggles. Finally he stares at me in defeat, scowling down at my hands and I lace my fingers quickly through his. Jacob stares up at me, frowning and confusion dancing his dark eyes. "Clary, I will do nothing but hurt you."

I smile sadly at him because part of me knows that he is telling the truth, that all he will do is hurt me because of his feelings for that woman—Bella—and because he has hurt me so much already since I have met him. But then there is another part of me, a part that thrives and is 100% alive whenever I am near Jacob. It is the part that causes me to not care and throw all cautions to the wind, and it is a reckless and completely liberating feeling.

"Then don't do it," I state simply. Jacob's eyes widen in bewilderment, his mouth agape as he tries to decipher my meaning.

"Don't…do it," he states with his brow furrows from the frown that pulls down the corners of his soft mouth. I have to resist the urge to run my fingers, or—dear God—kiss the line that creases his brow.

"Don't hurt me," I murmur to him like it is the simplest suggestion. His eyes flint away from me and his hands clutch mine tightly in response to my words, which causes me to wince but I make no move to release my hands from his. Call me crazy or self-destructive but I just do not care at this point, I just cannot help it. The feelings I have for this man—even as quick as they seemed to come—are powerful and make me throw my heart on the line for him at the seconds notice.

"I can't," he emits quietly and I slip my right hand out of his painful grasp to stroke the side of his face. His body stiffens under my touch and continues to stare at the ground, determined to not meet my eyes.

"You will not," I say stubbornly. Shaking my head, I slip my other hand out of his grasp and try to tip up his chin to meet my eyes. "You will not hurt me."

His jaw clenches. "I cannot be with you," he says firmly.

"You will not hurt me," I say just as firmly and all I want to do is shake him because after that kiss…the way my heart sang and my blood boiled. It was not just lust, it was something else entirely and I cannot just let that go out of fear.

He shakes his head, his body trembling violently. "I can't," he repeats through clenched teeth.

I bring my face down to his so that our noses are touching and we are only a breath apart. "You can," I reply determinedly. "Do you think for a second I would let you hurt me?" My left hand travels up his jawline to his tousled hair, my fingers tangling and then tightening to bring his closer to my lips but I do not kiss him.

His eyes finally snap to mine and they are so dark and glinting in the moonlight, while his jaw clenches and unclenches under my right hand. "I can't," he growls with his delicious breath caressing my lips but then his hand buries into my hair, twisting the locks around his hand to bring me to heel. And then I he kisses me, or maybe I kiss him because I am not certain where it is he begins and I end. And I do not care because I am alive, we are together and I am feeling what I have never felt before.

Any sign of Jacob's gentleness when we had kissed before dissolved, his lips crash against mine to near agonizing but it feels so damn good. I open my mouth and his teeth close around my bottom lip, nipping harshly but then easing the pain by running his hot tongue across my tender mouth. And then he does the same thing to my top lip and my hand tightens in his hair as I crouch in the sand in front of him.

His other hand grasps my waist and I am shoved roughly against him, and another growl surfaces out of Jacob's throat as he presses me into the sand with his dead weight. He breaks away from my lips and begins trailing hot, domineering kisses down my neck to my shoulder again. My heart hammers at the memory of his teeth pricking my skin, his kisses setting fire to my body and boiling my blood until I feel weightless.

_Is he a vampire too? Is that why he tried to bite me?_ The thought flies into my head through the intense kisses searing my skin, Jacob's lips opening to deliver a wet kiss to the top of my shoulder that causes a shiver to course down my spine.

I gasp as his teeth scrape against my shoulder, the sensation causing my heart to leap in my throat. _Holy crap! What if he is a vampire?_

"Jacob," I call out his name in panic and he growls in response. "Jacob!" I push his away suddenly and he falls over into the sand beside me.

"Clary," he rumbles and stares up at me with those eyes as I push off the ground and begin pacing back and forth. _Oh goodness_. How do I go about asking such a question? "What is wrong? Did I hurt you?"

I shake my head. The question is a little ironic when I think about why we began kissing again in the first place but I take a deep breath to try and prepare myself to answer him more properly.

"Are you a vampire too?" I blurt out and immediately feel like I need to slap a hand across my mouth. _Way to be discrete about it Clary, honestly…_

Jacob looks at me too stunned to speak, I open my mouth but find there is nothing else I can say but wait for his response. I have dug myself in this hole so I might as well suffer the consequences, whatever they might be.

"You have got to be kidding me," he snarls in disgust. He shakes his head, disbelief and outrage written on his face.

"No?" I whisper the words and unconsciously touch the tingling spot where Jacob had tried to bite me. Part of me relieved, while the other is confused. I stare at him…_What are you Jacob Black?_

"No," he snorts in disgust and turns away from me as if the suggestion was so horrid he cannot even look at me now. He begins to laugh—a hollow, sarcastic sound that scares me a little. "You have got to be fucking kidding me. Are you playing dumb? Or do you really not get it?"

"What are you laughing at?" I frown at him and I feel the jab of the insult cut into my heart. _You tried to bite me! How does that make me the idiot here?!_

"You!" He is trembling but part of it is from bending over laughing that cold, sardonic laugh that twists the knife in my heart. I look away, a little hurt by his insensitivity but what can I say…I was warned. Jacob can be an insensitive jerk sometimes. _What am I doing here?_

"I gathered that, Captain Obvious. But what is it that I am supposed to get because _spoiler alert_, I am not used to this crap." I cross my arms across my chest and press my lips into a hard line, a defensive stance that Jacob is clearly not zoning in on because he is still snorting in repulsion.

"Clearly," he says and continues to laugh at me. Frankly his attitude is beginning to piss me off and I have a pretty stable, tolerant temper but when it comes to him…Jacob always seems to push me over the edge.

I glare at him and he stops laughing suddenly but I begin to storm away before he can make a response to my look. _Screw this_. I hear him call out my name but I ignore him, even though I know I probably seem immature and irrational.

"Clary," he pleads and catches my arm to bring me crashing against his body. "Clary, come on." I push him away from me with all the strength I can muster in my angry state, I am so damn angry with him and the world that it has just been building and building. Surprise widens his eyes as he falls unsteadily and unexpectedly into the sand, and he just stares after me quietly as I storm away up to Embry's house.


	23. Chapter 23 Black Ink

**I do not own **_**Twilight! **_

**Thank you everyone who put the story as their favorite, is following, and for reviewing! Thank you .126, no.1klenafan, and Guest for your wonderful reviews! I am so glad for the feedback, that you like the story and thankful for the complements on my writing. =]**

**Clary's POV:**

_I am standing in a dark corridor with the only light shining is the dim lamps on each side of the walls put at an even distance so that my shadow is cast on the wall and then disappears again. I peer down at my hands that are covered in dirt and blood, my legs feel like they are on fire when I attempt to quicken my pace but I know that I must continue running because something is following me. They are chasing me and will take me down if I slow for another second longer. He is coming for me…_

_His darkened, distorted face burns in my memory and he is laughing as I lay trembling on the floor. No. No, you cannot be real. You are dead. They told me you were dead! _

"_Clarisssah," his hiss echoes off the walls and I quicken my pace to a wild dash. Fear spikes in my heart, chilling me completely but my mind turns over strategy after strategy for my escape. I need to get out of here. _

_The pack on my back thumps lightly against my lower back and shoulders as I run, setting a distinct rhythm that I force myself to concentrate on as the terror almost overwhelms me. If he catches me…no, he cannot catch me. Dear God, do not let him catch me. _

_I hear snarls echoing in the darkness all around me and the sound of claws tapping on the pavement floor, they must be close but I do not dare to look backwards to check if they are behind me. _

_I get to a part of the tunnel that is completely submerged in darkness and my heart slams violently in my chest, the sensation so painful that my chest is left with an unbearable ache. I try to get my eyes to adjust to the darkness quickly because I cannot slow my footing, even though my chest is now burning as furiously as my legs. My vision slips out of focus and I know my iron levels have lowered to a very dangerous level, and suddenly my world begins to tilt. No!_

_I stumble and crash onto the cold, stone floor and struggle to rise to my feet again but I manage to force myself back on my feet as I hear the claws taping nearer. I am running again, cold sweat running down the side of my face and mixing with my tears in a frightened concoction that drips down my jawline. _

_And then I see it, finally, my escape is so near to me and my hands shake as I climb up the steel ladder to the trap door that will lead me away from this nightmare. Away from this hellish reality. However, after climbing out and sliding the door back in place and locking it, I turn around and look at the sky that glows with stars contrasting with the backdrop of the red sky that is tinted by the blood-colored moon hanging overhead. I begin to cry silently, uncertain if it is from relief or from fear. Hell, it is probably a little of both. _

_At that moment the music begins to play…No! I slap my hands over my ears, closing my eyes tightly, and shaking my head rapidly; this is just a dream. I need to wake up and not listen to this song again, the horrid melody that has tainted my dreams with terror. _

_Everybody's waiting  
Everybody's watching  
Even when you're sleeping  
Keep your ey-eyes open_

_I feel something wet drip onto my leg and I open my eyes slowly to stare at my jeans that now have a wet drip of saliva on them. Slowly, I glance up with my heart in my throat and meet the eyes of the black wolf with glowing sliver eyes. The eyes that look at me with predatory possession and desire, which send a sickening shiver down my spine. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, singing to my quiet terror and praying for this all to end quickly. _

_His teeth bite into my left shoulder and I barely feel the pain as I stare at the blood-red moon that has set the sky to flames, much like another memory of my childhood from long ago. _

"_Mine," the wolf growls and bites down harder but all I feel is a tiny twinge of pain because a man is walking closer to us both from in the distance. "All mine; I am the one to mark you." Too soon the man is close enough for me to see his darkened, distorted face and I know he is the devil reincarnated while he smiles down coldly at me. _

"_Clarisssahh," his voice hisses down at me before the flames of hell begin to descend upon us. I finally open my mouth to scream._

I sit up quickly snapping out of my dream, my heart a fluttering and frantic bird trapped in my chest. Something wet slides down my face and drips onto my arm, and then I realize that I had been crying in my sleep. I cover my hands over my face in attempt to gather my composure, repress the memory and the nightmares that have been plaguing me lately.

_Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto._

The door creaks open and I jump at the sound, hastily brushing the tears away from my cheeks and repeating my mantra of the planets to calm me. Keally is standing hesitantly in the doorway with two cups that are steaming in her hands, her eyes look me over in concern—her mother hen tendency look. I smile at her encouragingly and she smiles back but it does not quite reach her eyes, she hands me one cup and I close my eyes inhaling the scent of chamomile. So soothing.

"Did you…did you sleep alright?" Something about her tone is off, as if she already knows and is expecting the answer. I stiffen at the memory of my rough, sleepless nights and the nightmares.

"Yeah," I lie quietly and smile at her as if it would make a difference. Keally stares at me and I see a spark of disbelief in her blue eyes. "I slept like a baby." The fact is true; a baby's sleep is infrequent and irregular so I never did understand that expression.

"Alright," she replies just as quiet. "But just know that you can talk to me about anything Clary, please know that." I nod my head slowly, the last thing I want to do is talk about what plaques my dreams right now but I am grateful for her concern. I look out the window of the room I am in and wonder what time it is.

"I am going to go grab us something to eat while you get ready," Keally states and leaves with a small sigh. She shuts the door as quietly as she let herself in.

Taking a deep breathe I pull back the covers that were wrapped around me like a vine from my twisted movements in my sleep.

The first thing I realize is that my hand is throbbing painfully to the point where I cannot bend my fingers, my wide eyes taking in the swollen and purple horror that is my right hand. _Shoot. _I jump out of the bed that smells of freshly laundered sheets with a faint scent of forest lingering in the room, and that is when I instantly realize another thing. It is absurdly cold in the house, to the point where my teeth are chattering and my body is convulsing to endure the lack of heat circulating in my body.

I peek out the door, wincing at the loud creak of the door as I stare down the hallway. _Bathroom…where would the bathroom be? _Finally, after the third door, I find it and duck inside without anyone noticing that I am lost.

The bathroom is cozy and clean, a comforting air about it like the room that I stayed in was. It is refreshing from the past houses that I had stayed in, that I lived in… I wash my face and run cold water over my hand in attempt to reduce some of the swelling in my hand but it just seems to turn a darker shade of purple.

"Crap…crap on a damn cracker," I mumble as unsuccessfully try to move my now numb fingers. I catch my reflection in the mirror and stare back at the wide-eyed, ghostly girl that looks a mess. Inside and out, she is a walking train wreck.

A hesitant knock on the door causes me to jump and I quickly wrap my right hand in a hand-towel before I open the door to come face-to-face with Keally's beaming face. "Mrs. Call made a big spread out in the kitchen sleepyhead," her voice is still coated with worry as her eyes search my face. "Are you alright?"

"Umm…yeah," I say slowly and put my wrapped hand behind my back so I do not have to cause Keally any further worry. Keally looks at me suspiciously and I smile widely at her in response, gesturing her forward with my left hand. "Let's eat."

I follow Keally into the kitchen not knowing really what I am supposed to expect, what I should prepare myself for, but thankfully it is only a woman who resembles Embry bustling around the kitchen filling a pitcher of orange juice.

She sets the pitcher on the table and smiles a friendly, motherly smile that causes my heart to squeeze but I shake the feeling off and smile shyly back into her kind, dark-brown eyes.

"Good morning. I am Tiffany Call," her brown eyes glow with warmth as she shuffles over to me, wiping her hands on an apron wrapped around her waist. She is very pretty even in her older age, all dark eyes and russet skin caste under a head of black hair. "You must be Clary, Keally and I have already had some time to get to know each other while you were sleeping, but that is just the curse of early risers I suppose. I hope you slept well?"

I blush at her kindness and nod my head quickly. "Yes, thank you very much Mrs. Call for letting me—uh—I mean us to stay here."

"It is no trouble really, I am glad to have you both here with Embry finally home..." Something sad enters her eyes and I find the urge to erase it, hug her until she smiles again but then she seems to snap out of her thoughts and smiles at Keally and I. "And please, just as I told Keally, call me Tiffany. You call me Mrs. Call and I look over my shoulder for my mother, alright?"

I smile back at her and laugh a little. "Yes ma'am," I say quietly and then when I see her smile knowingly at my discomfort I remember her request. "I mean…Tiffany." I blush in embarrassment but she just walks over to me and squeezes my shoulder kindly, smiling.

"Come sit and eat, girls." Tiffany nudges Keally and I towards the table gently, motherly, and I feel my heart squeeze again. "Embry should be home soon," she says and then sighs sadly. I look at her confused and frown while she rummages around in the kitchen, and Keally pokes me in the arm and shakes her head at me.

The door bursts open suddenly and as if on cue Embry stumbles into the kitchen with a heaving chest, clothed in only cut-offs, and covered in mud. My eyes widen at the sight of him in his nearly naked getup, and then I quickly look away once he grins at my gawking.

I glance over at Keally and she is still gaping at Embry as if she had just witnessed Michelangelo's David in human form, standing in front of her as Embry Call. A silence falls over the kitchen and Keally and Embry just continue to stare at one another with a strange look in their eyes.

"Embry William Call," Tiffany yells disapprovingly. "I just cleaned the floor young man, not to mention we have guests. Go put some clothes on right now!" Embry looks at his mother and smiles sheepishly at her.

Embry takes off his shoes carefully on the welcome mat and walks over to his mother with slumped, defeated shoulders. "I'm sorry, Mom. I was helping Sam and we got a bit dirty, I will clean up any mess that I made as soon as I get cleaned up." His voice is gentle and pleading.

"Just go Embry," she replies and gestures him out of the room with the wooden spoon she was cleaning. After a few awkward minutes later, Embry returns with the same sheepish look on his face as he gazes at his mother. He walks up behind her, towering over her short frame for a second before enveloping her in a big hug. Embry's mother places her hand gently on her son's arm, squeezing it affectionately and closes her eyes.

Then Tiffany lets out a shriek as Embry lifts his mother off the ground in a tight bear hug with both mother and son smiling. "Embry William! Put me down this instant, I am much too old for these games young man." Tiffany tries to look scolding but her smile breaks out and Embry spins her around laughing before he sets her back on her feet. They are both laughing happily, I look away embarrassed at the tender moment shared between mother and son.

I glance at Keally who frowns at me in concern but I just shake my head at her, not wanting to get into my issues with my own family. Keally's hand slips into my own and squeezes it reassuringly. Embry slumps into the seat across from Keally and I, grinning while loading up his plate with food. His mother fills up his glass with orange juice with a smile glowing on her face, and then she rumples his black hair lovingly.

Slipping my hand out of Keally's, I cut into my pancakes and eggs with my left hand while I curl my other hand under the table in my lap. The morning passes in laughter and casual conversation, the Calls are the perfect hosts and it has become clear that Embry is smitten with Keally. I smile at the pair while Keally flutters her eyes coyly every so often in his direction, or smiles quietly back at him. I raise my eyebrow at her wondering what rapid change had happened between them overnight that caused her to act this way around Embry, just yesterday she was scowling at him.

Suddenly, Quil and Jacob burst into the room just the way Embry did half naked in shoes and cut-offs and covered in mud. Tiffany places her hands on her hips in a disapproving huff and the two guys grin sheepishly at her, a mirror image of what Embry was just a short while ago.

"Morning Ms. C, might I say you look stunning this fine day. Did you do something with your hair?" Quil grins up at her as him and Jacob slowly takes off their shoes.

"Quil Ateara, it is nearly afternoon. Do not try and sweet talk me," she warns and folds her arms but slight amusement sparks in her dark eyes. "You boys are filthy, go get cleaned up and then we have plenty to eat. Does Samuel have you rolling around in the mud or something?"

Quil chuckles and blows Tiffany a kiss while Jacob follows him with a stony expression, he does not even cast a look in my direction. A pain twinges in my hand but my hands grip down tighter at the sight of him, his showing up half-naked after our fight last night. Good God, it just was not fair…looking at him. He was a god, covered in mud but a god nonetheless. He was so beautiful…

"What did you do to your hand, Clary?" Keally's voice asks frantic and I stare down at my hands that are gripping the sides of the table. I stare down at my wrapped hand through glazed eyes…crap.

"I um…"

"You what?" She asks with wide eyes, mother hen beginning to cluck around me already and I know I need to explain quickly to calm her. "You didn't…you know?" I frown at her suggestion and shake my head; I had not had a relapse in hurting myself in over a year. Besides I had only been self-destructive by…I shake my head again.

"It was from when I hit Paul," I say firmly. I do not break eye contact with her and removed the hand-towel to prove myself, pursing my lips at her accusation as a blush crawls up my cheeks. Keally grabs my hand and gasps in horror, gently holding my hand in hers as she inspects it carefully.

"We need to get you to a hospital right now," she whispers firmly to me and I look up to see Embry staring at my hand with wide-eyes, while fearfully glancing at his mother who is obliviously doing laundry in the next room. "Why did you not tell me about this last night?"

I look down at my hands. Truthfully, all I thought about last night was how angry I was after I came back inside from arguing with Jacob. "I did not think it was that bad."

Keally shakes her head and rises from her seat but she still has my hand in her grasp so wincing I am forced to stand with her, Embry rises instantly as well but he looks at a loss for words. I throw him a look of apology and follow Keally in the direction of the room we stayed in last night, probably to retrieve the keys to her car and her purse. However, once we make it into the hallway, we run into Quil and Jacob and immediately Jacob's dark gaze falls on my hand.

"Clary," he snarls and clenches his teeth as he begins to shake. "I told you to let me look at it last night." I push past him to continue following Keally who is standing in the doorway of the room, she watches stiffly through icy eyes and I know at any second she could pounce on him to defend me.

"Jake," Quil warns from behind me and I sense Jacob's eyes on me. Suddenly, his arm slashes out in front of me so that I am blocked from going any further. I stare at his arm, the muscles in his arm bunched up in tension, and how it still trembles in angry as it is slammed against the wall. I purse my lips and then glare up at him, angered by his temperamental behavior.

"Get out of my way, Jacob." I say the words calmly in effort to not set him off any further. I look up at him once he makes no move to take his arm away, I press my lips in a firm line and bite my tongue but he is being ridiculous. I shove his arm roughly but it does not budge so I full on glare at him. "Move Black," I hiss and shove at his arm again but the effort was useless.

"I am taking her to the hospital," Keally says and I blink in surprise at how close she is and I did not even hear her approach. "Let her go, Black." Her voice screams a warning at him but he only gives her a careless glance before peering back down at me.

"I will take her," his husky voice demands and I clench my teeth in frustration. Why? _What the hell does he care?_

"No you most certainly will not," I declare angrily. "Let's go, Kea—"And then as if by some miracle, Jacob takes away his hand and I have to stare in amazement because I won an argument with him. I begin to walk towards Keally again, a little smugly. _Ha. Take that Jacob Bla—_

"Ahh," I cry in surprise when Jacob unexpectedly picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. _I should have freaking known better…_ "Put me down, put me down right now you son of a—"

"Language Miss Knight," Jacob interrupts sarcastically but his voice is cold with not a drop of humor. I kick and thrash against him but he just throws an arm across my knees to pin them against his chest and renders the defense helpless, so I result to slamming my fists against his back and but that causes my right hand to throb painfully. Finally, I settle for thrashing my upper body around as he ignores both Keally and I's protests.

"Screw you," I snarl back at him. I cannot believe that he is man-handling me right now, it is both embarrassing and degrading. Above all, I hate how helpless I feel. As a result, despite my throbbing hand, I continue to bite my fists into his warm back over and over. "How dare you just throw me over your shoulder like some—"

"Enough," he growls in disgust and rendering me speechless for a few seconds but the effect is short-lived and my anger returns as burning and furious as ever.

"No," I yell back at him. "No, I will not damn well enough to anything! Who do you think you are?"

A growl erupts out of his throat and my eyes widen at how badly I notice he is trembling under my weight. Well good, I hope I make him angry with my struggling because this treatment pisses me off. Then, I am being set on my feet again roughly and he slams me against a red Volkswagen Rabbit. I wince as he pins me against it, well, I hope it was his and I dented it. _Jerk._

"What the hell Jacob," I demand and he stares back at me with dark-brown eyes flashing at me while leaning down into my face, both of his arms trapping me between him and the car. I push against his chest and he stands there motionlessly not absorbing any of my hits until his eyes turn to ink, the iris blending in with the pupil.

"Why could you have not just listened to me? If you would have stayed away and if you would have left me and everyone alone then you would not be hurt right now. You are so damn reckless and stupid," he growls and his hands grip my upper arms violently. My eyes widen at his actions as he begins shaking me and my back slams against the Rabbit again. A whimper escapes from my lips, the anger in me evaporating and becoming replaced with fear because of the look in Jacob's black eyes and how violently he is shaking in anger.

At the sound, Jacob's eyes widen as if he is just realizing what he is doing and I notice a swirl of the dark brown returning in his eyes. However, in the blink of an eye the swirl gets swallowed up in the cold ink color that consumes Jacob's eyes. My heart burns between passion and fear, which pounds in my chest to the point of aching around a steel knife that has been plunged deep.

I let out a strangled cry and his grip on my arms, hoping the sound startles him again, and when the dark brown swirl of emotion escapes again I pounce. I push on him with all my strength, putting all my body and temper at him into the shove until he stumbles backwards.

I glare at him with my hand curled into my chest, the pain reaching its breaking point of pain from pushing his immovable body. Tremors run over my body causing my hands, arms, legs, everything to shake with either fear of anger. Maybe it is both. I am speechless to his behavior but at the same time he implied that he was afraid he would hurt me, and this was it.

"What?" Jacob says in that cold, sarcastic tone that causes another tremor to run through me. He grins but it is not anything I have ever seen, it is snide and sarcastic and horrible. "You want me to apologize? Don't you? Because you think that was me hurting you, well, it was not me hurting you."

I turn away, my every intention is to leave this cold man and find Keally to take me to get my hand checked out. However, I only get a step away before he grabs my elbows and shoves me against his car again but this time I fight against him. I claw at him with my fingernails but the effort is useless because I bite my nails so I settle for just digging my fingers into him and jerking my body around. His grasp on me is iron tight but I struggle against him as if my life depended on it. I cannot breathe, I feel like I am suffocating in all the energy of the struggle as fear grips my heart. _Who is this man? This is not the Jacob I know._

"You think this is me hurting you but it is not, it can get so much worse but I think you can see that now. You do not get pain, Clary. A few pushes against my car? That is nothing. Nothing!" He laughs but it is that cold and sarcastic laugh again, suddenly, I have an overwhelming urge to cry. Not for me though, strangely, but I want to cry for him…for this tortured man who thinks he is a monster so he acts like one.

I turn my face away from him and squeeze my eyes shut because my body has become so worked up that I know I need my iron pills, I take deep breaths in attempt to calm myself but his hands now grip my wrists tightly and I feel his hot breath stirring in my ear. A stab of desire runs through me and I almost gasp, appalled, because the feeling shoots straight to my belly and then downward…

"I could rip you to shreds just because I have snapped, because what is inside me is ugly and violent. You will not be happy with me, _baby_." My heart drops at the use of the tender name being tainted by his cruel voice.

His mouth presses into my ear and causes me to shiver, torn between horror and yearning, it was sick the way my body was reacting. Sick. "_That_ is the truth. You can never have a fucking future with me Clary because this is who I am."

I shake my head at him, responding for the first time in minutes. "No," I whisper in a shaky voice and then make my voice firmer. "I know this is not you, you are trying to make it seem like it is. You are trying to frighten me."

"Are you frightened?" His cold voice asks with a mocking smirk and I grit my teeth at him to restrain myself from slapping him.

"No," I hiss at him. _No, I am terrified. Terrified and aroused and sad for you and it is all so screwed up. _"I am not afraid of you, Jacob. So give it up already." My heart pounds as I jerk back against the car to gauge his expression, his eyes flash dangerously and a growl erupts from his throat. He presses his entire body against me, pinning me to the point of suffocation against the car and I press my lips together and glare at the afternoon sky.

"Don't you get it? I can never love you," he snarls bitterly. "I have no heart left to give you." I go limp, hoping he will finally listen because I need to conserve my energy or else I will need my pills very soon.

And then it is as if all the anger drains out of him and his dark brown eyes look down at me in horror, finally taking in my trembling.

He gets off of me and stares at me but I do not look at him again. "Clary," he says but his voice in void of emotion. "Get in the car. I am taking you to go get your hand looked at now." His voice holds a twinge of defeat and I just want to put my arms around him despite the ache in my own heart. This man, this beautiful and amazing man, obviously has been screwed up. Enough of my studies in psychology have taught me that much…but how? How could anyone hurt someone like him?

I get in the car and Jacob and we sit in silence until Jacob backs out of Embry's driveway, I do not know what to say about what just happened but my vision has begun to blur. I put my head and my hands, ignoring the monstrous pain coming from the purple horror that is my right hand, while my head begins to ache. I take deep breaths and feel Jacob's eyes burning into me, glancing at me repeatedly.

"Clary," he says concerned. "Is it your pills?" I heave a breath and peek up at him from behind my fingers, nodding my head slowly.

He pulls over the car suddenly and I widen my eyes at him, gaping in anticipation of what he is doing now. I am about to tell him that we are going to need to go back anyways to get my bag that not only has my pills but also my insurance card, ID, and my money. However, Jacob leans over and opens up his glove compartment and pulls out a bottle of iron pills that were the exact brand that I take. He hands them to me wordlessly and I just stare at him, shocked beyond recognition.

"Why do you carry iron pills in your glove compartment?" My question comes out calm and collected but inside my heart is freaking out.

Jacob shrugs in response but I am not buying that answer for a minute because from what I know I am the only one he knows that is anemic. I hold up the bottle and shake it, it has not even been opened but the packaging was ripped off for easy access. For emergencies… "Jacob I—"I pant out a breath and he looks at me with concern filling his brown eyes. "I will not…take…these…until you…tell me," I finish and his throat lets out a frustrated growl. I lock eyes with him and notice the black is slowly staring to invade his eyes again but I determinately keep my word.

"Clary," he warns and his fists grip the steering wheel tightly. "Take them now."

"Tell me," I say stubbornly. And a wave of nausea overwhelms me so that a moan of discomfort slips from my lips.

"Fine," he growls coldly. "I keep them in here just in case."

"In case?"

"In case you need them," he snarls through gritted teeth while glaring out the windshield. "Now take them."

Confused and surprised I do as I am told, swallowing two pills and then closing my eyes until the effects pass. "Thank you," I whisper to him gratefully. "But I still need to get my insurance card and everything from my bag that is still at Embry's."

"We are not going to the hospital," he sighs and I frown at him trying to decipher his meaning.

"Excuse me?"

"I know a doctor, we are…well acquainted." He sounds slightly disgusted by the confession and I feel the corners of my mouth pull further downward. He glances at me and his expression turns smug. "So you will not need anything for him to see you. He owes me a favor, multiple favors actually but we won't get into that right now."

"Who are you taking me to? He is legal right?"

Jacob laughs and my heart warms at the beautiful sound compared to his cold, sarcastic laugh that speaks of nothing but cruelty. This man is so hot and cold, so mercurial and temperamental.

"Yes. He has been a doctor for a _very_ long time," he says but his words are laced in disgust again. "His name is Carlisle Cullen but I will _not_ be making a habit of having you near him or his _family_."

I stare at him confused and frown as he continues to drive me to see this mysterious doctor. Yet, for some unfathomable reason, I trust Jacob even though I probably should not. I sigh and stare out the window, hoping that everything will be okay and this decision does not end up biting me in the butt.

**Review please?!**


	24. Chapter 24 Dr Fang and the Cullens

**I do not own **_**Twilight!**_

**Thank you to** **Sweet Petit,**** .126,** **RebelRebel7751, and thepixieblonde for reviewing! It helps the flow of writing when I know I am not writing just for myself =]**

**Thank you also to those of you who are following and have made the story a favorite!**

**Clary's POV:**

We pull up to a timeless and graceful house that looked probably a hundred years old. It was painted a soft, faded white, three stories tall, rectangular and well proportioned. The windows and doors were either part of the original structure or a perfect restoration, it was my classic British literature novels come to life. Beautiful, yet I did not want to set foot in it as Jacob pulled into the spacious gravel driveway.

"Perfect house isn't it? Perfect house, perfect life," Jacob says sarcastically but I notice there is a hint of sadness in his words. I stare out the window ignoring him, silent and still a bit angry at his mood swings.

The car jerks violently and my head slams against the window, I open my mouth ready to begin chewing Jacob out and fix him with a proper glare. But my glare goes unnoticed because Jacob is glowering through the windshield at something, a dangerous growl rumbling in his chest. I follow his intense gaze and my eyes find a pale man standing in front of the car, he must have come from out of nowhere.

The pale man was a lovely sight, not as beautiful as the temperamental man sitting next to me but he was certainly a sight with his tousled bronze hair and stone-carved statue good-looks. However, I liked flaws and without any faults there was no attraction in my opinion.

"Stay in here," Jacob growls at me and I roll my eyes as he slams the door and walks over to the pale man.

"Yeah right," I snort and open the door of the car with a scowl. _Who does he think he is? _"Controlling, mercurial jerk."

Jacob's back goes rigid at the sound of my door slamming shut and his shoulders begin to shake as he shakes his head, like he does not believe that I am defying him. I roll my eyes at the thought. The pale man with glowing topaz eyes looks between us as I approach a few feet away from the two, and then he smirks at Jacob and lets out a whimsical laugh.

"Have your hands full with this one I am guessing, Jacob?" He cocks his head to the side, looking me over with a crooked smile that sways my judgment of him. My mind sings that he is perfection and the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on but I frown at the thought and look away, until my heart returns to the conclusion of flaws and I look at Jacob. My swayed judgment is no longer even an option when it comes to the appearance category between the pale man and Jacob, Jacob would win…always.

"I told you to stay in the car," Jacob says through clenched teeth and I peer into his ink black eyes. I glower back at him and fold my arms across my chest in silent rebellion, my lips pressed in a firm line.

"I'm sorry. I did not realize I was wearing a collar with _Property of Jacob Black_ on it," I whisper to him innocently and then roll my eyes at him. "I must have lost it in my struggle to break leash and get away from you back at the house. My bad." His eyes darken, temper surely flaring, and I know that I should stop pushing my luck with him before he snaps again.

Jacob sighs heavily trying to control himself but I see his hands curled into fists and causing the sinew of his muscles to bulge, the action making my belly warm with desire. _Where is his shirt? God, put some clothes on Black. I am supposed to be angry with you._ Folding my arms tighter across my chest, I feel something push against my mind. I blink in alarm at the feeling of someone digging around in my thoughts, unraveling the secrets of my inner turmoil. What the hell?

_Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto. Pluto, Neptune, Uranus, Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, Earth, Venus, Mercury. _I flip them around again and then begin saying them in a different pattern, skipping every other one and then filling them in at the end. _Mercury, Earth, Jupiter, Uranus, Pluto—Venus, Mars, Saturn, Neptune._

I pause after not sensing the disturbance invading my mind again and frown, I turn to Jacob trying to search for some explanation but not knowing how to begin the discussion. The pale man chuckles, the sound ringing like soft bells in the air but something about it is slightly familiar. I just cannot seem to put a place on it though.

Jacob seems to realize what is happening and growls at him, taking a threatening step forwards but the pale man with topaz eyes just smirks at him. "Stay out of her head, leech."

_Leech? _Oooh, I get it now. He is a vampire. Wait. Why the heck would Jacob bring me to see a vampire to look at my hand?

"Not something I can really help," the vampire replies and rolls his eyes but then smiles at me again. "But she is doing a pretty good job at keeping me out all by herself."

Jacob looks at me again and the expression on his face is slightly proud, as if he is impressed by the man's comment but instead of smiling encouragingly at Jacob I keep my face impassive.

I feel the pulling in my mind again but this time I am more irritated then worried, I imagined a massive explosion and clouds of smoke. I was in control of my mind damn it so angrily I envisioned debris flying everywhere in destruction until flames danced high, wild and chaotic. I slam walls of fire and rock into every corner of my mind with every ounce of mental power I have, it was a bit like lucid dreaming in my opinion…only I was not sleeping. I only stopped when I felt no trace of lingering invasion, looking up to see the pale man gazing at me with an alarmed expression on his face.

"What is it, Cullen?" Jacob says gruffly and moves closer to me, shielding me with his body in protection but I keep my eyes locked on the pale man…Cullen. The vampire who I suspect just tried to gain access to my mind, unsuccessfully.

"How did you…?" He lets the question hang in the air as I stare at him wearily, not knowing what to expect and not trusting him at all. "I could not even hear Jacob's thoughts for a moment," he whispers quietly, visibly shaken by the encounter. Good, maybe now he will stay out of my head.

Jacob stares at me in question, frowning, but I just shrug my shoulders like I have no idea what the guy is talking about.

"I believe we have forgotten the task at hand," I remind Jacob dryly and then smirk a little at the irony. "No pun intended."

"Right," Jacob replies shaking his head slowly as if to clear it. "We need to see Carlisle, Cullen."

"I see," he replies as his eyes flick to my injured hand before returning his steady gaze to Jacob. "He is in his study. This way, I will direct you." Jacob and I follow quietly with Jacob attempting to put as much distance as possible between the pale man and I.

"My name is Clary Knight," I say hesitantly not wanting to be rude just because Jacob is being temperamental and snide towards the guy. The man smiles a crooked smile with his topaz eyes flashing warmly at my introduction. "I would shake your hand but I am…kind of at a loss at the moment." Not to mention Jacob might throw a fit if I so much as step near you due to his rigid pose and mercurial temper.

The man smiles like he is amused by something, as if he heard my inner turmoil. "My name is Edward Cullen," he introduces himself in a velvety voice. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." I move towards him suddenly, intent to shake his hand or just talk to him in a more open and friendly manner. I mean goodness; my best friend is a vampire, well, technically she is that human-hybrid thing but…I trail off my thoughts for two reasons.

The first reason is because I feel something pulling at my mind again and instantly I slam down my wall of defenses, clearing my mind of any previous thought. The second is a bit more physical because when I move a step towards Edward, Jacob snags the back of my jacket and pulls me back to his side protectively. Instantly, I jerk away from him and scowl up into his dark eyes.

"Don't Clary," Jacob warns darkly and my scowl becomes more prominent because just before we got here he was telling me how he could cause me the most amount of pain. Pain that I apparently had no idea existed… Well, in my opinion, the only pain he is issuing at the moment is being a big pain in my butt.

"No," I say as I glance at Edward waiting on the front steps expectantly for us to follow. Jeez, he is fast. "You don't, Jacob. I am not made of porcelain so do not treat me like you need to protect me when I know you do not even want the burden. I have been taking care of myself for a very long time so it is no favor to me in what you are attempting to do, I do not need it."

I walk away from him before he has a chance to respond, feeling his eyes burning into my back as I square my shoulders and walk up the steps to Edward. I do not need you, I do not need anyone. My footsteps repeat each word written in my heart as I walk up onto the Cullen's porch. From a short distance, I hear and feel Jacob following close behind me with a silence that is a bit unsettling.

"This way," Edward says nodding his head up a beautiful staircase that I could envision walking down in a gown straight from Jane Austen's novels. I stumble over one of the steps, clumsily cursing myself as I wait for the impact of the staircase that I had just been admiring. However, Jacob grabs me from around the waist before I manage to fall head-first into the stairs and eat designer carpet.

My body warms at his touch, his large hands' skimming my hips and belly with a heat that shoots straight down until I feel that spark again. He pulls me upright and then shifts so that he lifts my weight off the ground, with one swift movement I am scooped up bridal style against the heat of his chest. His naked chest is an instant distraction and from the smug look on his face, I believe that he knows the effect he has on me.

"You are not even fair," I whisper with a frustrated frown. He looks down at me with shining dark-brown eyes, he is so beautiful it hurts sometimes and I find myself fall for hard again. "You know that, right?"

"Nothing is fair baby," he says softly back to me with a heartbreakingly sad look in his eyes. He stares after Edward and I try to keep my hands from caressing the side of his breathtaking face, trace the tired lines under his eyes and the angry line that creases between his eyes.

I have every right to be angry but all the fight has seemed to go out of me when I am so near to him. Instead I cherish the moment, feeling his heart thump against my shoulder but all I want to do is curl up and press my head against the powerful beats. I could demand Jacob to put me down, embellish the whole thing that I can take care of myself and walk on two feet just fine. However, I resist the urge and remain silent as Jacob sends me small, concerned glances until we reach Carlisle's study. I gesture for him to finally place me on my feet and reluctantly he obliges me, it is the first time in a while I notice that we are not fighting. I almost smile at the thought. _Almost._

"Hey, Dr. Fang, I am calling in a favor to you. You have a patient," Jacob slings his arm around me and I am torn again between shrugging him off and cuddling in closer to him. I settle for going rigid under his touch as I take a look at the "doctor". My mouth falls open; he was young and fair-haired, and extremely handsome in a movie star kind of way. He too was pale like Edward and tired looking with circles under his eyes. The only attribute that look similar between Carlisle and Edward seemed to be the pale skin, inhuman good-looks, and those glowing topaz eyes. Strange, Keally has blue eyes that are more human-looking than such a color.

"Hello," I say shyly and flick my eyes away from his soft gem-like eyes that are filled with compassion and curiosity.

"My name is Carlisle Cullen, welcome to our home Miss…" he trails off with a velvety voice and smiles warmly at me.

"Knight," I whisper looking into his eyes again. "Clary Knight."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Clary. How is it I can be of service?" I blink at his question and a blush enters my cheeks as I remember that we are here because of me. I glance down at my hand hesitantly and cringe slightly because the swelling has returned in it.

Carlisle seems to notice my attentions on my hand and walks over gracefully, towering over me at a couple inches over 6ft. I am willing to guess he is at least 6"2' based on Jacob's height alone. "May I?" he asks gently. I feel Jacob's arm around my shoulders tense and I pull out of his clutch on me carefully before holding out my right hand to Carlisle.

He holds my hand gently his, inspecting it with care and thankfully in the air of a professional. "I will have to run some x-rays but I believe based on the discoloration in the skin and swelling, I believe you have a fracture in your hand. Possibly many," he says as his fingers gently prod the palm of my hand to each of my fingers. "Are you experiencing any numbness?"

"Um, actually, yes. This morning I tried to reduce the swelling by putting cold compress," I murmur blushing because cold water from a bathroom facet I am sure does not really apply to cold compress.

"And by cold compress you mean cold water?" I blink at him; surely I had not said that out loud. I nod my head, slowly. "I thought so," he says kindly with a smile as my blush darkens in embarrassment.

He places my hand carefully at my side and gestures for me to follow him out of the room, and when we walk into a room that looks like a medical infirmary I blink in surprise. I was expecting that we were going to drive to the hospital but the man must be very rich if he can afford his own x-ray machine.

"Do you have anything metal that you are wearing?" I nod and slip off my amethyst crystal necklace that is looped around my neck on a rose-chord, a gift from Keally when she saw me scrutinizing the variety of crystals in a planetarium once. And then I slip my copper twined ring off my finger and look for a place to put the jewelry, until I meet Jacob's eyes and he takes them in his large hands carefully.

"And is there any chance you could be pregnant?" My eyes widen at the suggestion and feel Jacob stiffen beside me, his shoulders beginning to shake slightly. I shake my head quickly, my face burning with embarrassment. _Not unless I am the Virgin Mary I am not, holy crap._

"Sorry," he apologizes recognizing my discomfort. "I had to ask so it did not put you or anyone else in danger." I nod just wanting to get this whole thing over with.

I am directed to sit while he takes pictures of my hand through the x-ray machine, and then I wait until the pictures are printed and he leans against the table I am sitting on. Jacob is mumbling something to Edward from the other side of the room. It seems they are in a quiet argument with Jacob resulting to curling his hands into fists and glaring at him.

"Jacob seems calmer around you," Carlisle observes and I laugh at the mere thought that Jacob is anything but calm in my presence. In fact, I believe I generally have the opposite effect on him.

"No way," I reply to his curious look. "You do know him right? The man standing over there is like…" I trail off and blush, feeling awkward and shy talking to this stranger. Why would a vampire want to know about my inner turmoil on the mercurial man glaring and growling at Edward across the room?

"Like?" He presses quietly with those gentle topaz eyes.

"It is complicated," I whisper and squirm at the thought that Jacob could be calmer in my presence.

"Love usually is," Carlisle says with a smile and I blink at him. _Love?_ What? No.

"Love," I whisper with my blush deepening again. "No, I am pretty sure that will never happen."

He raises his eyebrows at me in surprise. "Really? That is a shame," he says and then peers down at the x-ray of my hand. "Ah, yes, you do have several fractures. Actually, you were very lucky from the way your bones are angled."

I nod politely at his explanation but my hand is the last thing on my mind at the moment. "What do you mean that it is a shame?"

The doctor pauses for a moment before speaking, thinking over his answer before responding. "Well, the imprint is a fascinating thing and like most of the Quileute pack I think the family's divergence from humanity is much more interesting than that of the vampric nature. In fact, I have even told Jacob that it is almost magical."

I stare at him, stunned beyond recognition. Where do I even begin to try and decipher all that? "Excuse me? Did you say imprint?" I ask him with my mouth hanging open. "As in with ducks?"

"Ducks?" He asks in surprise.

"When a baby bird, such as a duck or a chick, is born the first thing it usually sees is its mother and from that instant connection there is a trusting bond between mother and child. It is a critical point in certain birds and mammals lives to form this attachment so they can learn how to function in the world. It teaches them to mimic behaviors to learn about their species. The bond is called imprinting," I explain and then blush because I am sure that he already knows this because he is a doctor. I imagine he probably had to take a psychology course before, if not many.

"Yes," he smiles with amusement sparking in his eyes. "That is the textbook definition of imprinting, my dear girl."

"Sorry," I apologize awkwardly explaining myself. "I am a psychology major."

He laughs and I see a row of perfectly straight teeth. "I can tell; you shall do well in your profession if you keep that firm of a memory for everything you study."

"Well, I have Research and Analysis of Psychology at the moment so the study of t-scores, standard deviations, and variances are not exactly my cup of tea. But I have always sucked at math," I reply easily. God, where did that all come from? He does not want to hear about your life, Clary.

"I am sure you will see improvement with enough practice," he encourages lightly. "Some things just take time."

"Time," I smile at him nodding while trying not to sound like a complete loser. "Yeah, you are probably right." I stare down at my hands and realize that he never explained about what imprinting had to do with anything.

"But that isn't the type of imprint you were referring to was it Dr. Cullen?"

"Clever girl," he points out but looks away from me to glance over at Jacob who is still having a heated discussion with Edward. The two are closer now, practically chest to chest and glowering at each other. Edward retorts something to Jacob, glancing in our direction quickly before shaking his head with his eyes narrowed into slits at Jacob. I frown at the exchange and turn my attention back to Carlisle, who is staring intently at my expression.

"So you know about us? Vampires," he confirms softly and I nod my head because I do not know what else there is to say. "But Jacob has not told you about anything else?"

"Jacob did not tell me anything," I say calmly. Yeah right, like he would reveal anything to me intentionally without a fight. "I recently discovered my best friend is a vampire." The statement still seems bizarre to say but Carlisle just blinks at me in an interested manner.

"That must have been quite a shock to you," he murmurs in his velvet voice.

"It was…interesting," I reply with a slight frown because when I glance over at Jacob again he has Edward pushed up against the wall. A blond girl, who is so beautiful that she puts Da Vinci's version of Venus to shame, hisses something quietly to Jacob.

"They will be okay," Dr. Cullen comments while studying my results quietly. "They fight like this all the time, especially since the engagement. Now, it seems there is a small problem with the one fracture in your ring finger. I am going to have to—"He looked uneasily over at Jacob.

"Going to have to what?"

"I am going to have to reset the bone because it healed improperly," he explains gently. _Oh, oh goodness._ He grabs the printout of the x-ray, pointing at a splintering part shown in the middle of my ring finger. "See here the bone is out of place, actually, I am a bit surprised you have not experiencing severe pain at the moment."

"Yes, I um…I understand," I reply timidly. "And I am pretty tolerant when it comes to pain."

He frowns at me, considering my words but does not comment for a few moments. "So I suggest for hematoma block to be performed before we reduce the fracture, I do not have numbing agent in here but I do have pain killers that will act just as well." My full attention snaps back to him, while my blood runs cold at the thought of taking pain pills.

"_Dad, the doctor said you are supposed to take the pain medication for you back by mouth method." He stares at me through glazed eyes, smirking, while he turns his pill-crusher in his quaking hands. The sound of grinding pills echoes in my mind, pounding painfully and making my stomach churn. _

"_Mind your business, girl. The pain in my back is disappears when I take them this way," he replies coldly. He opens the pill-crusher and draws a line of powdery white on the table before leaning forward and snorting it up a straw. _

_I look away in disgust and grab my book, shutting the door quietly on my way out. Maybe if I am silent enough I can pretend that I do not live here, that the people inside are not my flesh and blood. I can pretend that the thought of taking any medication except my iron pills does not cause me to want to puke. _

"Clary?" Dr. Cullen watches me carefully with gentle eyes and I do not know where to begin. How do I explain that I do not want to take any pain medication because of all the crap my father did? That I will want to throw up if I smell the scent of the pills.

"No," I murmur softly and shake my head. "I would like to do it without pain pills, please."

"That is impossible; Jacob will throw a fit if I put you in pain like that. You know that right?"

"It is my body," I glare at him and press my mouth in a firm line. "And none of Jacob Blacks concern, I do not want to take the pain medication and I have my rights to deny such a decision."

"It will hurt," Dr. Cullen informs me cautiously. "The pain—"

"I know," I interrupt him with my face completely serious. "Please, Dr. Cullen…just understand that I know what I am getting myself into. I am aware of the consequences of my choice."

"Very well," he sighs and sends another cautious look over to Jacob. "But you might want to inform Jacob first of your decision." I stare at him, part of me shocked by his suggestion while the other part is annoyed. What? Why the heck would I want to do that? I do not need his permission for anything; he has no authority over me.

"Um…no," I tell him firmly. He blinks at me with his eyes slightly widened, taken aback by my bluntness. "Sorry, but this is not really any of Jacob's concern."

"Fair enough," he replies but there is disbelief written in his eyes and tone. "But it might be a good idea if you did, Clary. He can be very protective." I sigh at how ominous this all sounds.

I look over at Jacob suddenly and our eyes meet—dull moss to beautiful dark chocolate. The blond girl that is a walking Aphrodite glances over at me with a haunting gaze, we lock eyes and a part of me—the little girl from my past—shies away. My memories uproot and punching me in the gut with a brute force, crippling me until I fall to my knees in torment.

"_Clarisssahhh," the voice hisses. _

No. No, no, no. I close my eyes, begging for the memories to repress. _Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto. Pluto, Neptune, Uranus, Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, Earth, Venus, Mercury. _

"Clary," Jacob's husky voice speaks in my ear and I jump at his sudden closeness. "Hey, are you alright?" I open my eyes and his warm fingers tuck strands of hair behind my ear, I breathe out slowly as they trail down the length of my cheek and creating burning path down to my jawline.

"Yeah," I reply softly and stare into the entrancement of his lovely eyes that flicker in concern. "I'm fine." I look away, frowning slightly but squeezing his broad shoulder lightly. The feel of his bare skin under my fingers is like heaven to touch, a scorching god like Apollo of the sun come to life under my fingertips.

"Clary," Dr. Cullen reminds me and I stare at him holding my x-ray in his hands, and I remember my fracture that needs to be reset…or reduced. Or whatever. I nod my head at him and hold out my hand, trying unsuccessfully to stop it from trembling.

My hand lifts and I feel ice on my skin, Carlisle's hold on my hand is gentle with the air of an experienced medical professional. "You are sure you want to do this?" Dr. Cullen asks me seriously.

I nod my head and feel Jacob stiffen beside me. "What are you doing, Dr. Fang?" Jacob's voice sounds distant in my ears compared to the sound of my heart pounding hard in my chest. I am no stranger to pain and if I am completely honest…I had often at my lowest points inflicted pain on myself. But this is different because now I am not the one inflicting the pain on myself. I was helpless, one of the things I hated the most. "Hey, you are freaking her out. Her heart—"He breaks off and I feel his large hand envelop mine.

I close my eyes, waiting. "Shit, Clary. You're shaking, baby. Tell me what I can do? Leech, what the hell are you doing to her?" The icy feeling travels to my finger in a fluttering touch and I breathe out a deep breath, anxious for the pain to come.

Dr. Cullen holds my ring finger carefully for a moment, then in one swift moment I feel a crushing sensation. I bury my face into Jacobs's chest, smothering my cry to his hard, burning pectoral while Dr. Cullen realigns the bone back into place.

"What the fuck were you thinking, leech? I know you have pain medication," Jacob growls and I feel his entire body trembling under my cheek. "Why didn't you give her any? Damn it, I thought you were the smart one!"

"Calm Jacob," Carlisle says in a patient voice. "She did not—"

A deep growl rips out of his throat and I wrap my arms around him instantly, trying to calm him. "Jacob, I asked him to not give me anything. It was my choice," I say into his chest. His body stops shaking at my words.

"What the hell do you mean it was your choice, Clary?" His arms embrace me causing my body to fill with warmth but his body begins trembling slightly again. "What did you do?"

"I hate medications, Jacob. I couldn't do it," I murmur and my nose skims the crease in his chest. My heart nearly melts and I frown, confused by my confession and what I am feeling. The pain lingers in my hand and I grit my teeth, tightening my hold around Jacob's waist but something feels out of place still. "Please, just…don't."

I turn to Dr. Cullen suddenly, the pain in my hand escalating but strangely it is not in my ring finger. "Are you sure there is not something else…wrong?" I stare at my hand and something just feels off about my knuckles, I hold both of my hands in front of me to compare the two.

Carlisle examines my hand carefully. "The rest of the swelling is just from tissue damage that can be dealt with by ice compress, which is why your knuckles and some of the fingers are swelled and discolored. I am guessing you hit something in receiving such damage?" I blush, thinking about how I punched Paul in the nose and nod my head embarrassed.

"Right, well, I just want to recheck your hand one last time to be certain everything is in place now and then we will set you up with a splint on that finger." I wait as Dr. Cullen takes another x-ray of my hand, staring straight ahead and zoning out until he returns with the printout in his hands.

"Everything appears to be set back into place," he informs me with a slight smile. I nod my head quietly, allowing him access to my hand but he turns away from me searching for something. "Rosalie?" I glance to where he is looking and the blond girl with the haunting gaze walks forward to give Carlisle a medical bag. He unzips the bag and pulls out a splint to set on my finger in order for it to heal in a proper position.

My eyes lock with the incarnation of Aphrodite, Rosalie; she is even more beautiful up close and all the more terrifying. I recognize the look in her eyes, the coldness that she puts up in defense to the world or at least I think that is what my heart tells me. It is crazy to imagine but at that moment I feel an understanding between us, between this vampire and I, but it makes no sense. I do not know her…

"_Clarrisssahh," the voice hisses in my head again._

Rosalie nods at me and give me a small smile, her topaz eyes dance with secrets as dark as my own. I look away, frowning. My heart panics in my chest as I force the memories back, until they are safely repressed once more.

"All done," Dr. Cullen says softly and grants me my hand back.

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen." I stare down at my hand, anywhere but at Rosalie again. A warm arm wraps around me and I am lifted off the table, I look up at Jacob and our eyes meet in a heated exchange of emotion until he sets me back on my feet. He keeps his arm securely around my waist but I push away the desire that coils in my belly, turning my attention back to Carlisle. "I hope I was not too much trouble."

"It was no trouble at all, really. And, please, let me know how you are doing." He smiles at me and gives my shoulder an awkward but gentle squeeze, I feel Jacob tense at the exchange and I frown up at him. Dr. Cullen had been nothing but friendly and caring with me since we got here, and Jacob was just being rude. "It was nice to meet you, Clary."

I squirm in Jacob's tight hold and roll my eyes, smiling slightly back at Carlisle while trying not to slap Jacob for his behavior. "It was nice meeting you too. And thank you again," I reply hurriedly because Jacob decided to grab me by the arm and cart me out of the room as fast as he could. We make it to the staircase when I finally have enough of whatever this is. I wrench my arm from his grasp and scowl at him. _So much for not fighting…_

"What the hell, Jacob?" I shake my head at him in disbelief and fold my arms across my chest, careful not to bump the finger that is in the splint.

"Let's just get back in the car," Jacob grumbles tiredly and my heart goes out to him at the dark lines under his eyes. "I do not want to fight with you right now, Clary."

I nod, dropping my arms and following him down and outside until we are inside his Rabbit again. We drive in silence and I just stare out the window, there is so much I want to say to him…so much to ask. "Jacob," I whisper to the line of trees passing by in a blur. I am answered with silence and for a long, painstaking moment I think he is not going to respond.

"Yeah," he sighs and my heart beats painfully again at how sad and tired he sounds. However, what I have to say is important and I need to know. "What is it Clary?"

I turn and look at him, taking a deep breath as he glances over with his eyebrow raised in question. My hands fiddle in my lap on their own accord, which causes both of Jacob's eyebrows to rise and his mouth to slant in a smirk. Pain prickles in my right hand at the pressure and causes me to wince slightly but I brush the feeling off, straightening my shoulders to get a grip on myself. _God, just because he is over there looking like a god all half naked and beautiful does not mean your brain has to go to mush. Get a grip, Clary._

"Clary?" Okay now he sounds worried, maybe I should lead up to the question so not to freak him out as much as I am getting freaked out. "What is it?"

"What is imprinting, Jacob?" I blurt out the question so suddenly Jacob slams on the breaks and stares at me with wide, fearful dark eyes. _Uh-oh._

**Review please! =] And if you have any ideas on maybe possibly the upcoming discussion between Jacob and Clary go don't be shy to tell me your input! I will update as soon as possible.**


	25. Chapter 25 Muddy Imprinting

**I do not own **_**Twilight! **_

**Thank you to all of those who have made the story a favorite of theirs and are following it. Thank you **_**cew**_**, **_** .126, peygoodwin, **_**and **_**Guest**_** for the wonderful reviews! =]**

**Clary's POV:**

Jacob stares out the wind shield, silent and brooding. "I don't know what you are talking about," he breathes out slowly to the road in front of us. I give him a "yeah, right" look and snort in reply to his dull tone, his sad attempt at making the statement seem unimportant. At the noise Jacob glances over at me, smirking slightly. "That was quite a snort."

I scowl at him and feel my face heat with a blush, realizing he is trying to distract me by embarrassing me. "Hush up," I grumble rolling my eyes to cover up my humiliation.

"Hey, no…"Jacob lifts my chin with his fingertips to meet his dark-brown eyes, while his other hand tucks a curl of hair behind my ear. "It was cute," he says softly but he is still smirking.

I shake my head at him, unbelievable. "I know you are doing," I point out quietly and narrow my eyes at him. "You are trying to distract me."

"Is it working?" He asks me with a heated gaze and my heart skips a beat at the heartbreaking smile on his face. Folding my arms, I try to appear disgruntled but a smile quirks the corner of my mouth.

"Nope," I reply with my lips popping on the p. I press my lips into a firm line in another attempt to not smile, which cracks away when he wiggles his eyebrows at me and smirks. "Maybe a little."

"I thought so," he says smugly and I smack his shoulder lightly. He stares out the window again, pulls the car off to the side of the road, and then turns the ignition off. With a sigh, I run my hand through my hair in frustration because I just want him to be straight with me and not play any of these games. Why can't he just _talk_ to me?

"What is imprinting Jacob?" I stare out the window like him, looking up at the cloudy sky that began releasing droplets from the murky overcast above as if even the weather is beginning to sob in its own form of frustration. His answer is silence and I roll my eyes before turning my body towards him, pursing my lips and frowning at Jacob. "Jacob?"

"Something about baby birds, sweetheart?" His remark is snide and he gives me a sarcastic look, I roll my eyes at the irony of the comment. I could be a real smart ass and explain an in-depth detailed description that I briefly explained to Carlisle. However, I just shake my head at him in disbelief as rain drops pitter-patter on the roof of the car.

"Real funny," I state through narrowed eyes and then I open the passenger door. Slamming the door, I feel Jacob's eyes burning into me as I become instantly in the process of drenched. I know I am being overly dramatic but I just could not stay in the car wrapped up in all that silence with him, it was too much.

I begin walking down the road as the rain picks up, chilling me, and hearing Jacob's door slam shut before quick steps approach from behind me. "Clary," he calls out to me. Ignoring him, I keep walking until I feel his warm arm loop around my elbow to pull me to a stop. "Come on, Clary. This is ridiculous."

"No," I say staring up at him with raindrops running down my face. "No, what is ridiculous is how much I have to pry answers from you when you so clearly just want to keep lying to me."

"Is that what you think? That I want to lie to you," he says quietly. His dark eyes look into my eyes and I see the black ink color edging the dark brown like a dark cloud hanging ominously. He grabs my shoulders and shakes me not roughly but none gently either, the ink color spills into his eyes as I narrow my gaze and scowl at him.

The look reminds me of everything he said today before we left for the Cullen's house, about how he can never love me for the monster he is inside. He is so hot and cold; I just do not understand it and one of the worst things is that I do not think he does either. His warning rings in my ears as I stare at his muscled body that is tensing under my gaze, that he thinks he is a monster and he will bring me pain. Pain that he described as miniscule to the pain of shoving me against his car a few times to intimidate me, I have felt nothing compared to the pain that he can inflict upon me.

"What else am I supposed to think?" I stare at the muddy ground waiting for his response and then sighing when nothing comes. _Figures_. I wrench my arm from his grasp and begin walking down the side of the road again, mud slashing up on my boots as I walk into another puddle.

"Think that I do not want this life for you," he calls indecisively from behind me. "That you will get hurt in the end if you do not get it through your thick skull that I am not safe for you to be involved with."

"What does that even mean?" I do not bother turning around to gauge his reaction, rolling my eyes. "The ominous warning is really getting old Jacob," I grumble attempting to avoid puddles as I walk but stepping in many.

"It means that you should have stayed away from me," Jacob replies angrily and I laugh dryly at him. I turn my heel suddenly and unexpectedly slam into his naked chest, not realizing he was that close to me. "I wish you would have just stayed away."

"Why?" I ask him, backing away from him and throwing up my hands in frustration at this mercurial man who held me while I screamed into that same chest when Dr. Cullen reduced the fracture in my finger. "You tell me one thing and then do another. Actions speak louder than words, Jacob, but you—you are so damn confusing that I do not even know what to think or believe anymore."

"I want you to hate me," Jacob growls at me and grasps a tight hold on my shoulders again but his words shock me and I jump out of his hold as if I have been burned. Why would he want me to do something like that? I barely know him and he wants me to hate him, I do not hate anyone so why would he deserve such a horrible judgment.

"I could never hate you," I say calmly. There are so many people that have made life horrible, made my life hell over the years, but I do not even hate them. Jacob would never even stand in comparison to such people, and I do not believe that he ever could surpass in my judgment to hate. I shake my head at him in disbelief that he could even suggest such a thing.

"You do not get it. Do you?" He grabs my shoulders again but this time the grip on them is iron tight and quivering in anger. Looking into his eyes, my stomach sinks and my heart clenches because the black has swallowed any trace of his warm, dark-brown eyes in cold fury. "I want you to hate me because I hate what you are doing to me," he snarls furiously at me.

"Excuse me?" I am breathless. He has knocked the wind right out of me and sent a kick straight to my heart, which now beats slow and painful as an aching agony buried in my chest.

"Yeah, that is right." He laughs that distant, sarcastic laugh that chills me further. "I want you to hate me as much as I hate you," Jacob spits through gritted teeth.

I stare at him, numb and stunned by his confession. "You…you hate me?" I choke out the question difficultly because I feel like I have been sucker punched in the stomach. I knew that Jacob did not like me at one time but this… I thought we got past his dislike with everything that had happened, with the kiss and his gentleness. All those action that I thought spoke louder than his words, or maybe it was just me overthinking everything. Maybe he never felt anything for me just as he confessed over and over to my stubbornness that just would not listen to him.

_He hates me_. What had I done so wrong that caused him to have such a poor opinion of me?

"I cannot stand the sight of you, sometimes it makes me sick just to look at you and know the effect you have." He curls his hands into fists and I stare straight ahead, not seeing him as I begin to take slow steps again down the road. I hear him walking behind me but why does he even bother following me after what he just told me. "Clary," his voice says cautiously and a strange, stony part of me just wants to laugh at the concerned tone. Now he wants to act anxious of my feelings, well, screw him.

I keep walking down the road, hoping I remember the way back to Embry's because even in pouring down rain I will not get back into that car with Jacob. No way in hell, I shake my head at the thought. Something pricks at the backs of my eyes and I widen my eyes in surprise because there is no chance that I am crying over this. I will not give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry, the only one who has really seen that mess of a situation is Keally…and Jak.

At the thought of the wolf my heart pegs with sadness because I miss him, the warmth of his fur and the comforting scent of forest. I want to go back to school, to my place in the woods and talk to him about all of this. Instead I am stuck here with Jacob and it is completely my own fault, in so many ways this all my fault. Jacob hates me because…well that much is not really clear but apparently the mere sight of me causes him to be sick. However, it is also my own fault because I did not have to accept Embry's invitation to come spend the holidays here. I could have stayed at school and worked, or Keally probably would have offered for me to stay with her.

"Clary," Jacob grabs my arm gently but I have had enough of the mercurial man and right now I just want to be left alone. I jerk out of his hold but stumble over a rock in the process, losing my balance I am just about to fall into a puddle when Jacob catches me from around the waist. "Damn it, why can't you be more careful?"

I squirm in his hold, his arms fall away a bit reluctantly, and I press my lips in a hard line while glaring at the ground. The feel of his arms around me feels so right but his words bite at my heart, his hate burning into me in personal torment. I want to scream at how pathetic I sound, I roll my eyes, I do not want feel like this. I do not need this, after everything in my life the last thing I need is more drama setting like a cherry on top.

"Why do you even bother?" I concentrate on the pattern of raindrops splashing in another puddle I step around. "After what you just said to me," I exclaim in exasperation.

"Because of what I said, it did not come out right," he says remorsefully. "Look, Clary, I get angry sometimes and I can do and say things that—"

I hold up my hand to silence him, I do not want to hear another excuse just because he has apparently grown a conscious. "Don't, Jacob. You could not have been clearer," I reply indifferently.

"No," Jacob says and before I have time to roll my eyes I crash into his chest again. How did he get in front of me so quickly? He grasps my shoulders for what seems the umpteenth time that day and I squirm, his grip tightens until he finally puts his arms around me to pin me with my back to his front to his simmering body. "No I have not been clear, I was too angry and caught off-guard."

"How did I catch you off-guard?" His heart beats against my back, until I find myself distractedly counting the beats that radiate heat into me. His body shakes but then I realize that he is laughing, I elbow him in the side not believing he is making this into a joke. "I am being serious, Black," I object to his behavior.

"I know," he breathes huskily into my ear and my eyes widen at the action while my heart goes into overdrive. "But since when does anything that you do _not _catch me off-guard?"

I shake my head. What does this have to do with anything? He is trying to distract me again, I push against his chest but he is locked around me iron tight. _Hot iron_, I comment at the temperature of his skin. "You need to stop," I whisper defeated.

He pulls away from me, chocolate eyes looking guilty and hurt. What does he have to be hurt about? "I did not mean it, Clary. I don't hate you I was just being…" He trails off searching for a proper word.

"A first rate jackass," I suggest and he lets out a barking round of laughter.

"Yes," he confesses looking contrite. "I can be like that at times. A lot of the time actually, as much as I hate to be."

"So don't do it," I reply seriously. "Try being not all…" I make gestures towards him, searching for the right word and mocking him a little. He cracks a smile and rushes at me, I squeal as he picks me up with his arms locked on just above the backs of my knees so that I am staring down at him. Breathless and blushing at our proximity, my hair falls forward slightly to spill into Jacob's face.

"A first rate jackass I believe were your words," he fills in my absent words with a smirk on his face. "You think you are funny, don't you Miss Knight?"

"I was just trying to be of assistance, Mr. Black. Being helpful," I smirk back at him but my heart beats loud in my chest. I sigh, the sound causing Jacob to look up at me with that lost puppy look that clenches at my heart.

"What is it? What is wrong?" He asks me quietly and brushes back my hair from face, keeping his other arm locked tightly around the back of my thighs. Raindrops glisten on his lips but I allow my hand to stroke the rain from his temple to down his jawline. "Tell me," he whispers with a tone full of regret.

"We can't keep doing this," I say and squirm to signal from him to put me down but his arm is full of so much strength that he barely even notices my attempt. He releases his arm unexpectedly and I wait to fall on my butt, I let out a startled yelp while Jacob catches me around the waist.

My heart speeds and I smack Jacob lightly in the chest for scaring me, rolling my eyes as he flashes me a smile with a row of perfectly straight, white teeth. He loops his arms around me, resting his linked hands at my lower back near the back of my jeans. "Can't keep doing what?"

"This," I hold up my hands around him but then press my cheek to his boiling chest and shiver because I had not realized I was even cold. Yet, here he was with no jacket or shirt for that matter and his body feels like it is running a fever. Obviously over the normal, 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit body temperature. "What we are doing, I have so many questions for you to answer before getting into all of…whatever this is. And you have not even answered my original question that I asked you in the car," I say searching his chocolate eyes for answers.

"What do you want?" He looks at me desperately searching, crouching down slightly so that we are only a breath apart and suddenly I cannot think. I just want his lips on mine, to kiss away the rain from those soft lips. Instead, using willpower that I cannot believe I even had, I press my mouth into a firm line and resist. He moves in closer to me and I feel his breath in my ear, sending desire to shoot through me like a bullet released from its chamber. "Tell me what you want, Clary," he mutters seductively with his soft, rain-moist lips brushing the shell of my ear. Now, I realize what he is doing and I swallow.

_Well, right now, I kind of want to jump your bones Jacob Black. But I am sure you already guessed that much, good god. Cannot believe I am going to do this._ I shake my head and push away from him, he lets me free easily as if surprised my action, and I avoiding looking at him as I begin walking down the road. _Holy crap on a cracker…I wanted him, I wanted him really bad. _The feeling was a little strange seeing as I had spent three years trying to avoid getting into situations like that with Zach. However, usually, I was always the one pushing away from Zach easily but with Jacob…_Holy crap_.

In reality, I know that I am just as screwed up as Jacob. The walls go up in my heart every time someone tries to get close to me, and I know that I would probably end up hurting Jacob if he tried to love me.

"Clary," he calls unevenly as if he needed to get ahold of himself too but I find that very unlikely somehow. "Clary!"

"Jacob," I call back softly.

"What is it?" I snort. _Yeah right, as if he did not know!_

I turn quickly and get knocked right into a mud puddle at the impact of Jacob's body, I am soaked through and cold as the rain continues to fall from the sky. Jacob just stares at me, looking torn between mortification and amusement but seeing my reaction I think mortification wins because he drops to his knees in front of me. His eyes are full of concern and his hands rise in a motion to reach out to me but they are trembling in anger, anger at his own carelessness. Self-loathing breaks out on his face for not being more careful around me, another small proof to himself that I will never be safe around him.

Staring at the overcast, I begin to laugh while the mud puddle makes tiny waves at the disturbance. Then, looking at Jacob's face I burst out into another round of laughter as muddy water spreads up the bottom of my shirt under my jacket.

"Are you…are you alright?" Jacob asks timidly but amusement sparkles in his eyes. I nod with a small disbelieving smile on my face.

He holds out his hand in offering to help me up and an idea springs into my head, keeping a straight face I move to accept his help. Then, when his arm is relaxed and my right hand rests gently in his I flash out my left hand and pull him down with a splash into the muddy water beside me.

"I cannot believe you just did that," he growls playfully with a streak of mud on his cheek. Without thinking, I raise my hand to wipe away the mud from his warm skin and meeting his eyes his gaze turns serious and heated.

"Well, I am full of surprises…" I trail off and he grabs my wrist, holding it gently in his hand before bringing the area where my heartbeat pulses wildly against his soft lips. I stare at him, knowing that I have to break this moment because he needs to tell me the answers I am looking for.

Opening my mouth to speak, Jacob releases my wrist and places his index finger to my lips gently silencing me while continuing to look at me with that heated stare. His hand drops into the water and before I know it his warm finger is tracing something softly on my cheek, all I can do is stare at him in complete bewilderment.

"Jacob," I press the matter staring up at his hovering face above me and wanting him to bend forward to feel his warm mouth on mine as the rain cools his boiling body temperature.

"Imprinting," he says carefully concentrating on the puddle around us. "Imprinting is like when you see someone…see her. Everything changes, the world shifts and it is not gravity holding you to the planet anymore. From that moment on it is she that holds you there and nothing else matters. You would be anything…" He trails off and looks me in the eyes finally, dark-brown eyes full of longing and sadness and something unreadable. "For her. For her you would give her the world, if just for the chance that you could be her world in return."

I am speechless.

**So tell me what you think? Ideas on how Clary might react to all of this? Review please! **


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